Here Starts Life
by Da'khari
Summary: Sam Evans and Mercy Jones meet on their first day of school and form a friendship they hope will see them through life, travel with them on this rollercoaster called life as they work their way through it supporting each other in their ups and many downs - I don't own Glee
1. Chapter 1

**Here Starts Life**

 **4 Years old - 1967**

Born in Quinton an affluent little town in Birmingham UK in 1963, Mercedes Jones was the middle child of three, her brother Michael the eldest and Michelle the youngest. She found herself left out of things in many ways; her brother was the apple of their Mothers eye, her sister was a replica of their Dad and the baby so Mercedes being a mix of everyone she never really fell on any side. If things were happening Michael naturally gravitated to Mom and Dad felt duty bound to protect Michelle so Mercedes felt she was always left to fend for herself.

Michael was 6 years old, Mercy 4 and Michelle 1 when she finally became special to someone, she'd started school she was in reception class when she met her best friend Sam Evans. Sam lived maybe ten doors up from her on the same street, and although they'd seen each other nearly all their lives in passing, conversation wasn't something that had ever happened for them. They generally stood holding the shopping trolley while their Mother's went into some deep conversation about whatever was going on on the street and the price of something going up or down. They'd stand around kicking dust, wheeling trolleys or making fed up noises or just becoming a pest until their Mom's gave up and walked away for the embarrassment to shout at them as they turned to smile at each other for a job well done.

They started school on the same day and smiled maybe because they knew each other from the shopping trips "He can sit by me" Mercedes called across the class as the teacher stood asking where there was a space for Sam to sit.

"Thanks" he smiled as he sat in the chair next to her

"We can be like friends" she told him as they shared a smile and turned their attention to the teacher

"Like Ben?" he asked smiling cutely

"Ben like **_'Ben the two of us need look no more, we both found what we were looking for'_** you mean" she sang loudly in the class as everyone looked on, some of the words obscure

"Yeah _**'now it's us, now it's we'**_ Michael Jackson he's so cool, my Mom likes him too"

Thanks for being my friend Ben" she smiled

"My names Sam not Ben"

Mine's Mercedes but your my special friend, so you can call me Mercy, nobody else calls me that"

"Sam, Mercedes will you two stop talking" the teacher called out as they looked at each other before turning back to pay attention

Mercedes Dad worked from 6am till 6pm Monday to Saturday in a local chemical factory, just 10 minutes away from home while her Mom worked in a metal factory a 20 minute bus ride away from home that took nearer to 60 minutes in the rush hour traffic 9am till 4pm.

Sam's Dad worked driving lorries all over the place and spent most of his time driving around Western Europe, Hungary, Greece and places like that, his lorry was his workplace, bedroom and kitchen. Before Sam started school they'd spent many a weekend on the road with him, taking family days out all over Europe. His Mom was a housewife, his Dad didn't want her to work, with three sick parents to tend to nearby, he felt that was more than enough to keep her busy and now Sam was in the fold, she could do without the added demands on her time, and she seemed fine with it

They hadn't played many games or even had that much time to talk before Mercedes Mom turned up and it was time for her to go home, she cried that first day for having to leave all her friends "We'll get you a sweet on the way home" her Mom told her changing her mood immediately "Lillian" she called out seeing Sam's Mom across the playground

"Mavis" she shouted waving back "Wait for me" she ordered as she ran off to find Sam "Thanks" she smiled as she got to Mavis with Sam's school jumper in her hand "First half day and he's up for losing his jumper" she swung the jumper rolling her eyes

"Mercedes' ribbons gone, but I just couldn't be bothered" Mavis laughed rolling her eyes back "I suppose we'll moan when they finally come home naked" she told her as they walked home

"I suppose" Lillian laughed

"Sorry I promised Mercedes a sweet" she walked towards the shop telling Lillian

"No problem" she smiled following her in, they stood talking as they watched the children choose their sweets

"I'm actually on my dinner hour I've got to get Mercedes to the sitter and get back to work" Mavis told Lillian as they talked

"If you didn't mind I could collect her and keep her until you get back we're not too far away and they seem to be getting on" Lillian suggested

"I'll have to speak to her Dad about it and let you know in the morning" she replied as the children came running back with their choice for their parent to pay, they left the shop sucking their lollipops

That night there was an agreement and the next day Lillian picked both children up and took them to her home, Mercy was mesmerised she'd never seen so many toys in one place, her eyes darting around as she looked at the cars, trains, Etch a Sketch, Speak and spell, everything you could think of was sitting around his living room "This is my play room" Sam told her as he flung his coat down and Mercedes watched his Mom pick it up and put it away

"You have a whole room downstairs?" she asked shocked

As time went on Mercedes began to enjoy being at Sam's house more than her own, she was having sandwiches instead of yam, dumplings and sweet potatoes, juice instead of weak squash and cakes, blancmange or jelly with every meal. Term ended and started again and then they were at school for a full day, having school dinners and playing together

"Will you be my best friend forever?" Sam asked one day as they played at break time

"Always always" Mercy smiled as they held hands

They went through reception, infants and into junior school sitting next to each other as friends, becoming monitors in their infant years; responsible for making sure everything was packed away properly after class and reporting hazards to the teacher

 **9 Years Old – 1972**

"Mercy" Sam shouted as he watched a snowball heading straight for her "Look out" he pointed at the ball of snow travelling through the air, they were in the playground having a snowball fight with the rest of the children and somehow they'd ended up on opposite sides

"Evans" Ronnie shouted at him, Ronnie was a tall black guy who felt he was the best fighter in the school, he's always had something against Mercy and him, maybe it was because they were friends and he couldn't get in the middle of that, no matter how he tried. He had a habit of shouting Mercy out anywhere and anytime he would call her fat, dumb or a cow with every sentence he made mention of her in, Mercy had begged Sam not to get involved because she felt Ronnie was trying to pick a fight with him, so he'd just stand back and listen to his crap

"You shouldn't hit girls" Sam shouted back at him

"She's not a girls she's a..."

"... Ronnie" Miss Walker shouted at him before he could finish his sentence, everyone in the playground stopped and looked as Ronnie walked over to her for his telling off, Sam smiling as he watched him walk over to Mercy to apologise

Sam's Dad had started driving further away to places like Saudi Arabia, Iran and Qatar spending weeks away at a time, his Grandparents were getting more dependent on his Mom so their family times together were getting less, Mercy had become his centre of attention, she was who he went to when he was feeling happy, sad, angry or even unwell and they sat and talked about everything

"I hate my life" Sam told her one day when they sat at the dinner table in Mercy's parents house waiting for the usual Saturday soup "I want to do something to get their attention, they act as if I don't even exist"

"Sam" Denis; Mercy's Dad, smiled as he walked in through the back door to see them sitting "Nice to see you" he told him before bending to kiss Mercy on the head "Mercedes" he grinned at his daughter as he walked through into the living room, minutes later he came running through the kitchen making his way to the bathroom and leaving his cigarettes on the kitchen table

"Sam" Mercy gasped looking at him as his hand went up to grab the packet "What are you doing?" she whispered

"Getting us a cigarette, he smokes it can't be bad" he told her as he took the cigarette out and put the packet back in it's place "We can try it on the way home from school on Tuesday" he smiled

"What with your Mom walking us home?"

"I heard your Mom talking to mine about letting us walk home alone, I think she's going to do that soon, whatever day that happens we'll have this" he held the cigarette up telling her

"I don't know" she looked at him saying "What if it kills us?"

"It hasn't killed your Dad yet" he smiled trying to put her at ease

"Mavis" they heard shaking them out of their conversation as their Dad came back into the kitchen "The pot smells ready" he smiled at her Mom

"Why don't you just say you're hungry" she slapped his chest as she walked past him laughing as she went to share out the dinner, Sam was as usual licking his elbows at the mutton soup with all the yams, dumplings, sweet potatoes, pumpkin and other exotic foods his palate was experiencing, he loved Mavis' cooking more than his Mom's, but he'd never tell them that.

The weekend over and school was back on, Ronnie still, after all these years, had a problem with their relationship, and he'd found himself a couple of friends to be on his side with this hate thing they had going on. Linden and Victor were just as rough as Ronnie and didn't really need a reason to dislike anyone. Linden was from a broken family his Dad, it was rumoured, had run off with some woman who had four children for some man who was doing a stretch in prison, Linden was up for blaming every woman in the world for the situation his Mom was in, left with no money, losing their home and no Dad he was looking for payback. Victor revealed once that his Dad had beat him viciously with a belt, he claimed it only happened once but his moods sort of told everyone it was more regular than that and so these three hard done by lads sort of took it upon themselves to become the bullies of the school.

On Wednesday that week Lillian finally decided Mercy and Sam, at nearing 10 years old, should be trusted to walk home alone, she informed Mavis and told them when she dropped them off that morning that they should make their way home.

That dinner time Ronnie and his friends gave Mercy a really bad time at school; calling her names, throwing sticks in her hair and getting as many of the other children to chant at her, Sam had been in football practice on the field up the road from the school and got back just at the end of dinner time, washed and got into class on the bell

"Where's Mercedes?" he asked Wendy who sat in the desk in front of them as he sat at the empty desk "Wendy" he whispered loudly as the teacher spoke "Where's Mercedes?"

"She was in the playground last I saw her" she turned to tell him as the teacher called her name

"Sam" the teacher stopped talking to look at him "Where's Mercedes?"

"I don't know Miss, I was at football" he replied getting a chill as everyone in the class looked round at him "Sorry Miss I need the bathroom" he jumped up telling her as he made for the door without waiting for permission. "Mercy" he shouted pushing the bathroom doors open as he went, looking for feet and finding nothing "Mercy" he shouted as he burst through the doors to get into the playground "Mercy" he shouted running across the playground over to the bike sheds where they usually sat talking at break times, breathing when he saw her coat sitting on the bench "Mercy" he said letting all the air out of his lungs "Why are you sitting out here?" he sat beside her asking

"Ronnie and his damn friends calling me names, the whole school was chanting 'Fat Fingers' at me, I'm not fat I'm thick" she cried as Sam hugged her

"You tell me enough times to ignore all their stuff, and here you are taking so much notice of it you're missing our favourite lesson"

"It hurt"

"That stuff always did but we raise above it, that's what your Mom would say" he smiled "And plus I thought the only thing that mattered was that we were friends?"

"It is" she smiled up at him

"Come on lets get to class" he pulled her up saying "We can smoke that cigarette on the way home today" he told her as they entered the school

"We're going home alone?" she smiled

"Apparently" he smiled

The rest of the day seemed to spin past as they went from lesson to lesson, wishing English was a half lesson instead of the full hour until suddenly it was 4pm and the bell rang, they ran to the cloakroom grabbed their coats and headed out of school. They stood in the doorway of the nearby public house lighting one of the two matches Sam had taken out of his house in preparation for the event, excited "Light it" Mercy told him as they stood looking around

"I am" he giggled striking the match on the wall as Mercy covered it with the hands to stop it going out

"Quick" she said as Sam put the cigarette in his mouth and drew breath through it letting the smoke out straight away "My turn" she grinned as she watched him "Dad pulls it all the way back" she told him as she took it off him

"Back to where?" Sam asked as he watched her put the cigarette to her mouth and take a big pull, it hit the back of her throat and she started coughing uncontrollably "Are you alright?" he grabbed hold of her asking as she stumbled about coughing, trying to catch her breath "Mercy" he panicked as he watched her looking around to call for help as she moved around coughing "Please" he looked at a passing Mom asking as they heard car wheels screech and a scream before there was an impact, he looked back to see Mercy laying at the side of a car "Mercy" he shouted running towards her.

The driver was out the car, the shopkeeper was out fussing and others stood on the pavement looking on "Bring her in here" the shop keeper told the man as he helped Mercy up, while Sam picked her school bag up, outed the cigarette and followed them into the shop "Are you hurting?" the shopkeeper asked

"My knee" Mercedes told her holding her knee

"Maybe this will help" the shopkeeper told her handing her a packet of Minstrels, Mercy's eyes widened it was very rare her Mom shared her Minstrels and now here she was getting a whole packet

"Do you know your home phone number?" she asked

"Sam" she smiled looking at him as the woman passed him a packet too, she wanted to scream with excitement but remembered she was supposed to be hurt

"Thank you" Sam smiled opening the sweets, they knew they needed to eat them quick before this woman smelt cigarette on their breath and contacted his Mom for that instead "Yes its 01212225585" he told the woman before throwing a handful of minstrels in his mouth

Less than fifteen minutes later Lillian was standing in the shop crying for what could have happened, explaining it was their fist time walking home alone and she wasn't going to do that again, as she called Mavis to fill her in. Twenty minutes later Mavis was there crying and ordering an ambulance to take her daughter to the hospital, the driver told them he wasn't actually watching the road so he felt everything was his fault and he'd make contact with the police to say as much, they finally got to the hospital and after a two hour wait they found nothing and sent them home.

The next day Sam and Mercy made some promises about watching the road, staying on the pavement and getting home before 4.20pm so when his Mom dropped them off she agreed they'd try again at making their way home. Of course Mercy accidentally on purpose fell outside the shop and again they went in for sweets leaving for home five minutes later, they had their puff of cigarette and washed their mouths out with minstrels.

The following day Ronnie and his friends cottoned on that they were walking home alone and followed them, jeering about their friendship, the fact that Mercedes was friends with a white guy, telling her she was the ugliest girl in the school so he could have her and pushing the two of them around "Mercy" Sam grabbed hold of her as they pushed her into the wall, turning to retaliate he was so angry

"Sam please don't" she begged

"Oh Sam please do" Linden smirked, walking towards him

They got all the way to the shop before the shopkeeper came out to defend them, telling the three boys to find their way home before she called their parents, she must have known who they were because the boys didn't argue they just walked off without turning back. They went in and of course there were more sweets before they made their way home to Sam's house "Sam" his Mom shouted as they got through the door "I'm in the kitchen"

Sam and Mercy made their way to the kitchen "Mercy" Lillian smiled "I think your Mom's at home today you can go straight home" she told her wrapping two hot teacakes as she spoke "I know you like these" she told her putting them in her hand "Sam watch her walk down the road" she instructed as she turned back to her baking tray to collect more teacakes

Sam saw Mercy down the road, waved and went back in, surely he was getting two teacakes too, he walked in with a smile on his face to see his Mom with tears in her eyes "What's up?" he asked standing beside her

"Your Grandma Horton passed today, remember I told you that was going to happen?"

"Yes" he looked up at her, tears in his eyes, he didn't see them much, even though they didn't live very far away, his parents didn't want him constantly upset they said but he remembered the times they had shared were happy, they gave him everything he wanted. He hugged his Mom and it felt like it had been a long time since he'd felt her arms around him loving him like that, she'd been so many things to so many people and somewhere in there she'd slipped at being his Mom in this way

"I know this sounds selfish baby, but it's a bit of relief she was suffering and so were you" she looked down at him, kissing his forehead "I'm sorry about spreading myself so thin, but you'll understand when we get to a certain age" she smiled "Dad's coming home tomorrow, go get washed up and have something to eat" she told him letting him go and flashing him with the tea towel she had in her hand "And you need to eat it all before your tea cakes" she shouted after him laughing

Sam was happy his Dad was coming home, he loved seeing him but the place changed when he came, Mercy didn't come round, his Mom didn't go out, he went to school in the car and his parents picked him up and they always went somewhere so it was difficult to get them to take Mercy with them unless it was the Friday shop at the supermarket. He missed his Saturday afternoon soup, his Monday cornmeal porridge, his weekly cigarette steal, they weren't even smoking them any more it had turned into this campaign to stop her Dad from smoking

Then one of the days, when he came out of school, his parents were waiting in the car, unexpectedly they gave Mercy a lift home, his Mom let her into her house and they went off on their travels, apparently his Dad was looking for some ornament for his truck before the shops shut. They treated him to a fish supper before he was sent to bed almost an hour earlier than usual, he could hear the talking, crying and then nothing before he fell asleep, something was strange about the whole day.

Their birthday was on the same day 2nd September, which meant they were generally the youngest in the class, but that didn't phase them, they'd always have a secret celebration the day before because they knew they'd end up spending the day with their families, they'd buy sweets and sit singing Michael Jackson songs to each other, whatever was their favourite, or what they'd heard their parents playing. It seemed like days after their birthday celebrations that Sam sat playing with his toy watching and listening to his parents conversation, they were talking yet again about his grandparents in some sort of code, mixing it all in with the weather.

"Christmas is coming soon son, what do you want?" Jack; his Dad, asked him as they sat in the conservatory watching the weather getting cold that Saturday afternoon

"I don't know a bike I guess, I'm getting too tall for mine" he looked up from his etch a sketch to tell his Dad

"We'll see how good you are" he smiled at him, Sam knew that meant he was getting it, and he knew what he was going to do with the old one

"Mercy" he smiled as they got to the cloakroom that Monday morning "I'm getting a new bike for Christmas and I was wondering if you'd want my old one, it's not been used much, I have a puncture kit for it and the seat can be adjusted"

"I can't ride a bike" she giggled

"I could learn you, in the spring I could learn you in the garden"

"I'd have to keep it at yours, Mom and Dad would spit blood for me accepting things like that"

"That's fine" he laughed "Where do you get your phrases from?"

"Parents" she laughed

"I'll keep it in my play room"

"Okay thanks" she smiled reaching up to kiss his cheek "Best present ever" she told him as he punched the air "How longs your Dad here for, we never get any time when he's around"

"I guess, we rarely get time together so when we do they want it to count, sorry"

"Don't apologise, I should, I see my Dad every day and I'm ragging you for the times you get, you should be with them, we'll get back to us when we get back to normal" she grabbed his arm saying as they marched off to class

"I'm faking sick this Saturday I miss your Mom's soup" he laughed as they walked

"Then we won't see each other till next year" she frowned as he hugged her

The time went fast as they finished school for the Christmas holidays, Sam played sick and went to Mercy's for Saturday dinner, taking his traditional cigarette and that was it they didn't see each other again until it was time to return to school.

It seemed like Christmas night when his Dad went back out on the road, everything was such a whirlwind but it was the day before he finally went back to school, his Mom announced they would be getting dinner money now, so on day two they agreed to use one days meal each week to buy sweets, so on that day they shared their lunch, they were in week three when disaster struck

"Sam" his Mom shouted as he sat eating his breakfast before school "Sam" she shouted again as mad as he'd ever heard her

"Coming" he jumped up to see what was happening now, shocked when he found her in his room

"What the hell is this?" she asked holding the cigarette he'd taken from Mr Jones' box just before Christmas "Where did you get this from, are you smoking?" she asked all at once

"No" he looked down sheepishly saying

"What are you doing with this in your room?"

"I've been helping Mercedes, we're trying to get her Dad to stop smoking, so when we can, we take one away, I just didn't get the time to crush it yet"

"You've been stealing from Mavis' house?"

"Not stealing Mercedes asked me to take it"

"It's not Mercedes cigarette to give Sam, and I know you know that this is stealing"

"I'll give it him back"

"I'm going to have to speak to Mavis about this and we'll think about what's next for you two" she told him putting the cigarette in her pocket as she left his room

They had the conversation and although they agreed the children had Denis' best interest at heart, stealing needed to be punished, they decided they were a bad influence on each other right now, therefore they needed to be kept apart for a month as punishment. That was fine out of school but in school they actually got tighter. They joined music and drama classes after school, while Sam got serious about the football team and Mercy joined the netball team.

"Mom" he woke up one Sunday morning sitting in the kitchen watching her bake, fed up with this punishment thing keeping Mercy and him apart "Why don't we go to church?"

"We've just never been religious" she turned to tell him "Why?"

"I think I want to go to church, they've been talking about God at school and I said I'd like to know more, I thought I could go with the Jones, Mercy parents will be there, what do you say?"

"I'll speak to Mavis" his Mom looked at him replying, the last time he'd been in church was to his Grandma's funeral last year and he looked totally alien in the place, he wasn't even paying any attention to the preacher "Are you sure about this?" she asked going out into the hall to make the call

"Yeah it might help with the lesson" he smiled, Mercy had told him her Dad would never say no to someone wanting to know about God, and this was just another way to break their keep apart punishment, he smiled as he heard his Mom's voice go to a higher pitch signalling they'd said yes

"They said fine" she came back from the hall telling him

"Thanks Mom" he kissed her cheek saying as he ran upstairs to get dressed

Two weeks of Sunday school, prayers, after school clubs and no mention of Mercy from Sam or visa versa and their parents were satisfied they'd learned their lesson and allowed them to play together again. The rest of the school year went fast, they had the whole summer to look forward to, Mercy had a bike to learn to ride and Sam, well Sam was wondering why Mercy was on his damn mind so much.

 **10 Years old – 1973**

"We're going to meet your Dad in Jersey for the summer" his Mom announced three weeks before the holidays started

"But I made plans"

"Unmake then" his Dad told him holding his Mom as he spoke

Sam didn't even feel he could argue, two days ago his Grandpa Evans had died in his sleep and his Grandma Evans had bottled everything up and maybe forced her heart to stop, he'd heard his Dad say. His Dad cried forever before he got mad threw some stuff around and cried some more while his Mom stood watching and he cowered on the stairs, then they both stood telling each other they were orphans now and cried in each others arms. The house had been solemn the following day and now this announcement

"Uncle Ken wants us to have a break, and up at his place was were Nan and Grandpa were happiest so we're going to scatter their ashes over there" his Dad told him

"Oh" Sam said walking off to find his room he needed to cry too, he was missing summer with this girl, that, for some reason he didn't quite understand, had become so important to him

"We're not going to be here for the summer, this will be our first one apart" Sam sat telling Mercy as they ate their last lunch of the school year together "Dad's taking my Grandparents ashes to Jersey by my Uncle Ken's to scatter and they're spending the summer with him and his family, my cousins"

"Are they your real cousins?"

"Yeah of course Anne and Louise"

"How old are they?"

"Anne's 12 and Louise is maybe 8 or 9"

"Have you been before?"

"Yeah a few times but only for weekends"

"So what do you do there?"

"We eat out a lot I guess Aunt Sylvia don't cook" he laughed "We go to the beech, do day trips all over the place, go to the fair and I get out of chores" he laughed harder "What will you do?"

"Mom and Dad are working so I guess we'll go to Aunt Joy's" she frowned "The only thing good about staying there is they have a secret door in the fence that we get out of and play in the streets at the back without them knowing"

"Do you have any cousin's there?"

"There are loads she's like the childminder for the whole of Selly Oak" she told him as she sat watching him laugh "She's not really an Aunt just friends of my parents from back home, so out of respect we call her Auntie" she laughed with him

"Loads, what do you mean loads?"

"There's about 20 to 25 of us, that go there, depending on if their parents are working or not"

"Stop exaggerating" he laughed louder

"I'm not, there may even be more" she laughed "But seriously they have the biggest back garden you'd ever want to see"

"Okay I was saving this for your birthday but seeing as we aren't going to see each other for the whole summer, here" he said giving her something in a plastic bag

"Sam" she smiled opening the bag to reveal a copy of their favourite song just now **'Got To Be There' by Michael Jackson** "Thank you" she smiled kissing his cheek

"Just in case you miss me, and I think we can buy them instead of singing them now"

"You know I'll miss you" she knocked his shoulder with hers telling him "We'll take this in turns" she told him holding the record up

"I'll miss you too" he told her as the bell rang and they looked around unable to believe they'd missed their time outside "We'll make Michael Jackson our missing you thing yeah?" he held his hand out for her to grab telling her

"Yeah" she grabbed his hand and got up to follow him out the canteen "You know our Michael, so keep it at your house" she gave it him back telling him

"We'll be shopping for school clothes on our birthday, so I'll bring you something then" she told him as they hurried off to class

 **Sam**

Sam got to Jersey and was shocked to see how his cousins had grown, Anne had boobs and everything, long blond hair down her back all curled like an adult and paint on her nails with lipstick to match "Anne" his Mom gasped in just as much shock as him "You've grown" she smiled hugging her "How old are you now?"

"13 Aunt Lillian" she smiled

"And I'm 11" Louise added as Sam stood thinking he could have sworn one of them were younger than him

"Sam you're quite the young man now too" his Aunt Sylvia walked towards him saying, his smile widening for this woman who always treated him like a king

"Nearly 10" he smiled at her, at 10 he was much taller than Louise but maybe a few inches off Anne

The first few days were all about Nan and Grandpa, and everyone understood that, the brothers cried together for their parents and it seemed like their wives cried for the sight of seeing these grown men cry, but eventually the whole family got in the jeeps and took the ashes to a very hilly place by the sea and threw them into the water, shouting for them to fly. The next day the holiday started and they were visiting adventure parks, restaurants and beaches

"Children" they heard as they sat watching a movie they had no business watching at their age "Us adults need to talk will you go find something upstairs to do please" Aunt Sylvia asked as they got up to do as asked

"Come on Sam" Anne called as he went to walk into his room to play his etch a sketch "I have a TV in my room"

"We can carry on watching that film" Louise laughed

They all sat on the bed watching this woman seducing a married man all eyes glued to the TV taking care not to look at each other for the embarrassment as this woman took her clothes off and lay on the bed "Sam?" Anne asked "Do you want to lay on the bed with me?"

"No" he told her

"We could play boyfriends and girlfriends" Louise smiled with a telling look on her face

"I said no" Sam told them looking disgusted, walking out the room and leaving them to it, he contemplated telling his Mom about it but, whatever it was they'd discussed had left the women crying and he decided against it as soon as he got back downstairs

That night he went to bed and tossed and turned for most of it, when he finally did get to sleep, he dreamt about Mercy, she was the woman on the bed in the film he woke up shocked he'd actually started wetting the bed, he held himself trying to stop the pee from coming but he couldn't it was pumping out of him "Mom" he shouted concerned because he had no control "Mom" he yelled as his parents came running to his room

"Sam" his Dad called running to grab him "What's up?"

"I'm wetting the bed and I can't stop it" he told his Dad who picked him up and carried him to the bathroom

"Sam" he said calmly when he realised his son was growing up "You know this used to happen before and I told you it was your body starting to change?" he told him "Well you're a bit young but you've started to produce sperm son, it's what all men do you remember that talk right?"

"Babies?"

"Yeah babies, so all that talk we had about girls kick in now Dude, and that girl Mercedes is now a threat" he smiled

He stayed away from his cousins after that, and sat wondering what this all meant for his relationship with Mercy, she'd been the one constant in his life up until now and if he couldn't share things with her he really didn't know what he was going to do. He got quiet after that night and just sat waiting for the day when he could go back home and lay in his own bed, down the road from Mercy where he could just pass by uninvited and grab a bowl of cornmeal porridge or soup with all the trimmings, he needed home.

Soon the summer was up and it was time for him to go home, he was looking forward to buying his uniform, they loaded him up with birthday presents, jumped in the Jeep and took the ferry ride back home.

 **Mercy**

"Are we going anywhere this holiday?" Mercedes dared to ask her parents as they sat shelling peas for the dinner on Sunday

"Aunt Joy's as usual" her Mom laughed "We don't all have the good fortune to afford not to work, we have this house to pay for, uniforms, food and tides at church sorry"

"The whole holiday?" Michael asked already sounding depressed

"The whole holiday" Mavis echoed after him laughing "You'll have a good time, just be careful"

"We'll get the Church trip though" Denis told them hugging Michelle as he spoke

So after that Sunday their mundane holiday started, up at 7am for breakfast, bath at 8am, lunch at 12.30pm, tea at 4.30pm followed by an ice cream from the van and inside play for two hours until everyone had to get washed and get to bed for 9pm. The only deviation from that routine was if other children came that weren't staying the night and then the house would half empty at about 7pm while weekends was all about family.

Parents would rock up about 8pm on Friday nights, all dressed up and ready to party, the women would go out first, they'd go to some secret place that was never spoken about for about an hour, then the men, who had already started drinking, would leave for the pub, heading back to Auntie's house for about 11.30pm with everything from the chip shop for the children to share. In the meantime the women stayed home frying fish, making fired dumplings ad rum punch, entertaining themselves in the kitchen while the children made party with DJ Micky Spice, otherwise known as Mercy's wannabe DJ brother, for a few hours before they went about making themselves not heard so they could stay up to get the chips and things their Father's brought home.

The bigger children were up in the attic, you could hear them playing instruments and singing gospel songs all evening, while the younger ones crowded into the main girls bedroom or the disco, they were give tickets for entry and squash was the only beverage served

"Let's play Mommy's and Daddy's" Paulette one of the cousins, not cousins, that were staying at the house suggested, once the disco had come to an end one evening

"No it's not my thing" Mercedes told her remembering the conversation with her Mom about staying safe and not letting anyone touch her body or her sister, pulling her sister closer to her so she could watch her, Michael smiling for his sister doing the right thing

"Come on we'll just watch telly in bed" Derrick told her eager to play Daddy, Mercedes lay on the bed with everyone else eventually to watch the telly, they were watching a classic horror movie they knew it was wrong but there were no parents supervising them right now, she doubted whether they even knew the old telly could work.

"Aarrrh" Claudia screamed pulling the covers over her head as Frankenstein popped up out the blue, making the younger ones scream Mercedes shushing Michelle to stop her Mom from coming up

"It's a horror movie" Kevin told them laughing, as he pulled the covers up to get warm

"We need to kiss goodnight" Derrick smiled at her saying

"How do you know Mommy's and Daddy's do that?" Mercy asked jumping up out the bed and dragging her sister with her "I'm not playing and if you touch me or my sister I'll tell my Mom" she told everyone in the room, Michael jumping up to defend that and everyone knew they weren't joking, it didn't make them popular that evening but they never messed with them again for the entire holiday

They finally left the last Friday of the holidays, in the middle of the night and ran all the way home, after their Dad told them scary stories about three legged horses, he'd call rolling calf's, and dead people being after them, they'd be so exhausted for running the, what felt like one hundred miles home, they'd fall into bed and sleep right through

 **End of the Holidays**

So the holidays had come to an end and tomorrow was school uniform day, everyone knew the Uniforms were delivered to the local shop on the last weekend of the holidays so the shop would be heaving, Mercy was on hot bricks for seeing Sam again, she had so much to tell her best friend, and Sam finally knew he loved Mercy, he was bursting with how to tell her that without sounding like a slime ball. Michael, Mercy and Michelle stood in the familiar shop with their parents waiting to be served, this thing was like a family outing, everyone took it all so serious, she laughed as she looked around at the familiar faces of her school friends all screwing for the crap they were going to have to wear they were all going to look crap.

"Can I help you?" the shop assistant finally asked her Dad

"Yes Michael needs a full kit for Compton Grammar please" he smiled proudly, Michael was just starting secondary school, he'd made the grade to get into the local grammar school the best school in the area, Mercy was happy for him but he'd just upped the bar for them to fail at and it was high.

They stood quietly while Michael tried on, owned and discarded items before he was semi-happy with his new uniform "Anything else?" the assistant asked smiling at Mercedes as she spoke

"We might need a skirt made for this one" her Mom smiled at the assistant who was just as peeved as Mercy for hearing that outburst and from her own Mother too, she could have slapped her herself but the Assistant did a good job bringing a smile to Mercy's face

"I think you'll be pleasantly surprised by our range" she smiled at Mercy measuring her for her clothes as she spoke "Take no notice sweet, you're thick not fat" she told her "Be proud about it" Eventually Mercy was standing there in all her glory when she saw Sam come through the door with his parents, rolling his eyes for the drama of it all

"Sam" she smiled waving at him

"Remember what I said son" his Dad pulled him back telling him

"I remember" he told him pulling himself out of his hold "Mercy" he smiled hugging her as he got to her

"I have our present in my bag, happy birthday" she smiled reaching for her bag as she spoke and pulling him out a signed copy of **'Doctor My Eyes' by Michael Jackson** "I got my Uncle to get it for us, I know you've always wanted it" she smiled

"Mercy" he grinned when he pulled it out the bag "It's too much"

"It's just enough for my best friend" she giggled as Sam's Mom called him, it was time for his fitting, she sat about for a while, watching Michelle get kitted out, waiting for Sam to get to the shoes so they could talk some more about their summer holidays "Next week" she finally said fed up with all the interruptions from both sets of parents as they tried to hold a conversation

"Mom said I have to start bringing Michelle home with me this term" she told him as they walked to school their first day back in preparation for transferring to big school

"That's fine, when do we start?"

"She's back at school tomorrow so I guess tomorrow" Mercy smiled "We'll be like parents" she giggled

"Talking about parents, I need to talk to you on the way from school tonight"

"Not now?"

"No later, it's a bit embarrassing" he looked at her, his face telling her that was the case

"Okay" she said as they sat getting familiar with their new teacher some new kids at school and, this thing called homework was looking a bit heavy

They were excited for the start of the new school year, there was something about being the oldest Pupil's in school, a new found responsibility, they were made Prefects; trusted young people given the responsibility of helping the teachers keep order, a spokes person for the school, as well as for every pupil in the school, and they took it serious.

"So" Mercy asked clutching her books as they walked out of school "What's this talk about?" she asked

"Can we go to the park?" he asked his face worried

"What's wrong?" she asked following him as he stepped off towards the park "Is everything alright?"

"Sit down Mercy" his hand reaching to the back of his neck indicating this was difficult for him

"Sam just say it, you're scaring me"

"When I was on holiday we watched like a dirty movie, my cousins and me and well that night I sort of had my first wet dream" he finally looked up at her saying

"You wet the bed?"

"Not exactly" he smiled as he went into detail about the workings of a boy becoming a man and how he'd started that process "The thing is Dad says I can make girls pregnant now so I have to be careful about my relationships"

"So we can't be friends any more?"

"I don't want that to happen for us, I want to be friends best friends actually, I just want you to know what's going on for me and why, I might look at you strange sometimes"

"I notice that already" she smiled

"I'm embarrassed" he grinned

"Don't be I think it's... sweet" she rolled her eyes telling him, they finally ended the conversation and made their way home a few minutes late, but his Mom wasn't too fussed about that, they had news to distract her

"Mom, I'm a Prefect" Sam shouted as they got in the house

"Well done son" she turned to tell him, she was usually at the cooker but today she was sitting at her sewing machine

"And Mercedes" he told her

"Well done Mercedes, you're parents will be proud too" she smiled at her

"Thank you Mrs Evans"

"Hey good news" she took her foot off the pedal telling them as she turned fully to look at them "They've raised school age, you'll be there till your 16 from this year"

"How's that good news?" Sam asked

"You'll be Prefects for two years" she laughed "You'll get an extra year in junior school"

"What?" Sam asked already mad at having to spend more time with Ronnie and his friends

By the next week, they were already in a routine, meeting at Michelle's classroom, Mercy collected her and they swung her all the way home, stopping at the swings sometimes to let her have a go as a treat instead of sweets

"Mercedes" they heard across the playground as they walked towards their bench behind the shelter one dinner time "Hold up" Ronnie and his stupid crew came walking up to them smiling "Is that grease in your hair making it so shiny?" he asked touching her hair

"Don't touch me" she pushed him away telling him as Sam stepped forward "Sam please don't, leave it" she told him as the gang walked off cussing at her "They're idiots"

"You're not going to be able to stop me one of these days" he told her he was so angry he had to say something "They're bullies and they need stopping" he slapped his fists together telling her "Mercy" he spun round looking at her "Next time just don't stop me, please" he calmed with his last word as he looked at her "What's that?" he looked in her hair asking touching the substance as he spoke "It's chewing gum, they put chewing gum in your damn hair" he pulled at it telling her "It's stuck" all Mercy saw was a bald shell of herself and burst out crying "Let's find a sink" he lead her inside telling her

"Mom's going to kill me" she screamed as they failed to get any out, making the mass larger with every touch "Leave it, I'm dead tonight anyway" she pushed him away telling him, she was mad but he was fuming, those guys were going to pay

That night his Mom tried too as Sam made up some story about attempting to throw his gum in the bin and Mercy's head getting in the way, it getting more mingled as they tried to remove it, his lips thin at having to lie for those guys at Mercy's request, yet again. Mercy looked on wondering where Sam had got that whole web of lies from, but happy that she wasn't actually being told off for anything, and they believed it was an accident

"Thanks" she smiled as he left with his Mom that evening, she knew she had a conversation to have in the morning, no way was Sam leaving that like that, her evening was spent sitting while Olive oil was rubbed in her hair and combed until the gum finally came loose

The next day they got to school deposited Michelle in her class and went off to hang their coats up ready for the bell to go "You had a nice evening Mercedes giant Jones" Ronnie called across the cloakroom as Sam seemed to make one giant leap across the room before Mercy had even clocked what he'd said. The next thing she knew Sam and Ronnie were rolling on the floor and everyone was standing around cheering like they were watching telly

"What is wrong with you people, help him" she shouted as Victor and Linden hovered ready to pounce, a few guys stepped up and helped keep the other two at bay so the fight was fair. The floor scuffle seemed to go on forever until both guys got up breathing heavy saying stuff that no one could understand because they had no breath before Ronnie waved his hand at Sam and they walked way from each other "What the hell?" Mercy stood asking following Sam to the bathroom to wash his face and straighten his clothes "What was that Sam?" she asked as he looked at the marks on his face in the mirror

"Thanks for not stopping me, I should have done that a while back" he looked in the mirror telling her

"I appreciate it" she smiled "But I don't like seeing you hurt"

"I couldn't sit back and listen to that shit any more Mercy, you're important to me"

"You're important to me too" she wiped his cheek with the damp tissue telling him

"No I mean I love you" he brushed her hand off him telling her "I mean really love you" his face as red as the brightest red you've ever seen "And I guess Dad saw that, which is why he told me to be careful around you" he looked into her eyes telling her, they moved towards each other and their lips brushed as their eyes closed for that second "I love you" he told her when their eyes met again

"I love you too, always always" she smiled

"Pinky Promise, no matter what?"

"Pinky promise no matter what" she giggled grabbing his pinky, cleaning him up before they put their badges on and made their way to class, school was draining that day, everyone in the class was terrified for seeing one of their friends die right there in class

"God" she gasped as they walked out the school at the end of the day "Do you think Harvinder will be in school tomorrow? my guess is she's dead" she asked Sam as they grabbed Michelle's hand to cross the road at the Lollipop Lady

"Miss told us to ask our parents, so we'll do that and share notes tomorrow" he told her as they walked

Mercy went home that night and asked the question to be told about birds, bees and blood, lots of blood, the fact that it was going to happen to her put the fear of god into her, she asked her Mom for pads to put in her bag and became attached to her black coat which she wrapped around her waist everywhere she went, the Harvinder incident was not going to happen to her, she already had enemies.

"So I can give children but you can't take them yet" he smiled at her as they met up to walk to school the next morning

"What's that supposed to mean?" she asked puzzled

"Until you get your period you can't have children"

"I didn't hear anything about children just blood, birds and bees"

"My Dad always gives it straight, he was on the phone for nearly an hour last night" he rolled his eyes and took a breath before carrying on "Once a girl starts to become a woman they start bleeding monthly, boys get sperm and if your pregnant there'll be no bleeding for 9 months and my Dad will kill me, literally"

"Why can't my parents be straight like that?"

"I don't know"

"So we can't kiss ever again or we'll have children?"

"Mercy are you serious?" he rolled his eyes laughing at her

"What?" she asked puzzled

"My Dad said Mom wasn't told anything either, maybe it's just you girls that don't know anything"

"Maybe" she frowned, school life was pretty plain sailing after that, Ronnie and his gang didn't mess with Mercy any more, and they sort of melted into school life

 **11 Years old - 1974**

"I'm afraid it's nearing time to start getting serious about life you guys" Sam's Mom told them, checking his bag as they looked at each other wondering what she was on about

"Serious?" Sam asked as Mercy thought it

"Exams, you'll want to get into the best senior school in the area" she told them "Compton" she looked at them saying

"I'm just basking in making history in being a prefect for two years running" Sam laughed

"I'm not joking Sam, this is an important year" she warned as Mercy and Sam looked at each other, before Mercy grabbed Michelle's hand and they heading off to school

Christmas was soon here and they spent the time at home with their families Sam's Dad had just about made it home that morning and the house was a bit salty although his parents tried to hide it from him he knew when stuff was hitting. But he got everything he needed and by the evening everything, whatever his Mom was mad about was forgotten, he'd seen Mercy that morning at church so he was good

Just before Easter they had that dreaded conversation at school the teacher talked about moving on to secondary school and every student that wanted to attend alternative schools to the allocated one needed to sit their Eleven Plus exam to determine what secondary school they were going to go to, that was frightening for Sam and Mercy they'd never envisaged that they'd be split up.

"It's fine" Sam told her as they left the class "She said if we wanted an alternative school and we don't"

"I can't see my Mom agreeing to anything but Compton, Michael's there"

"You guys never spoke at school, even I'd have a hard time knowing you were related"

"I know but he set the bar, and if the allocated school isn't Compton, I'm going to have to take the test"

"Then I'll take it too"

The thought of not being together for the next 5 years every day was daunting, Sam lost concentration, he was totally stressed, Mercy was sad a lot of the time, she knew they were going to be slit up as soon as she heard the announcement that Compton wasn't the allocated school, her heart told her. After Easter they did the Exam and could only sit back and wait for the outcome a month or so later

"Sam" Mercy sat on the swings looking around "We need to talk about this, what are we going to do if we don't get into the same school?"

"I don't want to think about it Mercy"

"We have to, we need a plan"

"We'll see each other after school, meet in the park, I'll come to yours for dinner every Saturday, I'll go to church, leave your key at home so you'll have to stay at mine until your parents come home, we'll work something out" he got up angry telling her

"Sam getting angry isn't going to work, we need a plan"

"What do you think?"

"I think we'll always be friends, best friends no matter what, it doesn't matter how long it is till we talk again because we'll fit every time, I love you and you say you love me and we promised that would be forever so I say even if it turns out we get on with our lives at school we'll always be in each others hearts"

"You know the game we're playing right now right?" he asked a puzzled Mercy "Bullshit" he looked at her laughing "All that hearts and flowers shit never works, my Dad still sits in the dog house"

"It does for my parents" she laughed

"Bullshit" he told her again serious this time

"Okay" she looked at him seriously saying "How about when we miss each other we sing our records, we'll try to send each other records when we find them or something, to keep us thinking about each other"

"That's still not enough" he sulked

"Phone me in the evenings, I can't use our phone but you can use yours"

"Maybe" he smiled

"We'll leave home at the same time every morning so we'll see each other"

"Maybe"

"We can put the milk bottles out at 7pm every evening and say goodnight"

"We can do all that" he grinned "But we are going to the same school" he added

"If you say so" she giggled

"I say so" he laughed "Now come on lets get home" he grabbed her hand pulling her off the swing to make the journey home

four weeks later they received their decision letter "Mercy" Sam called down the phone on evening, after his Mom had delivered the news that had arrived that morning, "Did you get your letter?"

"Yes, did you get yours?"

"Yeah, where are you going?" he asked holding his breath

"Compton Grammar" she told him to silence down the phone "Sam" she called to no answer "Sam, where are you going?"

"Milton Grammar, I didn't know they were accepting so far out"

"That's like miles away"

"In the opposite direction to Compton"

"Apparently I was good enough to get into the Grammar school but there was no spaces left in Compton, they say I can go there or have my second option which is the Comprehensive and the exam would have been for nothing, Mom says I'm not going to that one so I guess I have no choice" she could hear the cry in his voice

"It's not the end of the world Sam, it's five years, and we still live down the street from each other, next year I'll be allowed out too so we can hang out"

"Nothings going to change for us is it Mercy?" he asked, Mercy suddenly becoming scared at the thought of not having him with her every day

"Nothing except we won't be in school together" she reassured him "Come on Sam you're going to make me cry" she told him, trying to get his mood up

"Sorry" he frowned "I guess here starts life"

"It does I guess but I will always love you" she told him

"Always, always" he mumbled, they spoke some more before closing the call down

The final day at school was like heartbreak hotel, apparently this was the last year schools were going to use this form of selection process, every 4th year was going to be sent to the same school so they weren't losing their friends, somehow the government finally worked out this stuff was traumatic for youngsters. But that wasn't helping Sam and Mercy right now

Mercy cried at everything, walking into the classroom, walking out of it, sitting on their bench, eating lunch, standing in the playground, looking at the football pitch everything had all their memories. On the way home they stopped at the sweet shop and brought Minstrels, she cried eating every one, crying harder when they finally got to her front door, she'd got her key just last week so she didn't need to go to Sam's house any more

"I have something for you" Sam told her as they stopped at her door "I'm hoping we'll take it in turns to post each other these" he said pulling a copy of **I Wanna Be Where You Are' by Michael Jackson** out his bag and handing it to her

"Sam" she smiled as she stood singing the chorus to him "I love this song"

"We love all his songs" he giggled "And I guess that's going to keep me going"

"Me too, thanks"

"It's not a signed one but it's worthy of our collection"

"Very worthy" she smiled kissing his cheek "Bye Sam, I don't want to cry in front of you any more" she put her present in his hand and walked away saying as he stood watching her push the key in the door and close it behind her when she walked in, he knew she was already crying because he was too, things were going to change for them, no doubt


	2. Chapter 2

**CHAPTER 2**

 **12 Years old – 1975**

Sam and Mercy hadn't seen each other all the summer holidays, Sam had gone to Jersey again to see his family and Mercy had been free falling at the hands of her 14 year old brother, he really wasn't bothered with them. After breakfast, his friends would turn up and they'd be in the front room playing all his parents music as they entertained some loud laughing girls, while screaming the words to **'Eventhough You're Gone' by Louisa Marks** at a pitch that would scare dogs. It was maybe week three when Mercy finally took the song up as an anthem for her and Sam, cried and got on accepting the change that was going to happen for them this coming year

Sam had taken to sulking since his parents had made the decision he was going to Milton, he knew it wouldn't get him anywhere but he just needed them to know he wasn't pleased about it. His cousins had their own lives now, they didn't much bother with him so he tended to go on boring fishing trips with his Dad and Uncle and sit listening to them going on about the pressures of women's needs, he smiled as he wondered what Mercy's needs might be, his mind was getting used to wondering where she was concerned.

"Go grab yourself an ice cream" his Dad instructed when he finally snapped out of his thoughts to see the two men looking at him

"Pardon?" he looked at him asking

"Ice cream, go get one, this conversations too adult for you" _'_

 _Well don't have it then'_ he walked off thinking, taking the change out his pocket, he stood in the cue waiting as his foot started tapping to the song playing from one of the car radios nearby _'Keep us together, whatever'_ he sung, he hadn't really paid much attention to the song past that but that little ditti stuck in his head for the rest of the day. He was sitting waiting at the dinner table when it slipped out his mouth making Anne smile

"I like that too, it's number one" she smiled

"What's it called?"

" _ **Love Will Keep Us Together' by Captain & Tennille **_I think that's how you pronounce it" Anne replied, after that it was his song for Mercy and him

It was the longest holiday ever, made longer with uncertainty of how thiings were going to look in this new situation they'd been thrown into

They were in the clothes shop yet again getting kitted out for school, but Mercy's red and blue uniform was much different to Sam's yellow and black on, there was a blazer they both needed, specific gym clothes and equipment, a satchel, expensive emblems that needed sewing into their blazers, long skirts, and of course more white shirts and blouses, everything was heavy.

"Happy birthday" they finally said when they were allowed to go speak to each other, as Mercy handed him a familiar brown paper bag "It's my turn" she smiled

"Thank you" he smiled taking the record out the bag "Oh" he frowned as he read **'Ain't No Sunshine' by Michael Jackson** on the label "There won't be" he told her

"For me either" she smiled

"Mercedes" they heard both spinning round to see her Dad holding the door open to leave the shop

"Bye Sam" she turned to say before making off towards her Dad

"Bye Mercedes" he smiled watching as she walked through the door and it felt like out of his life, just like that

The following week they were in their new schools and nearly every promise they'd made had been broken, homework was a marathon, they'd been given all these books in this first week, between reading about new subjects and doing the tasks set there was barely time to eat supper, let alone make a phone call. Sam's school was 25 minutes away on the school bus he had to get at 07.55 each morning a clear 20 minutes before Mercy left home so he never saw her. Mercy's Mom stopped the milk man so there were no bottles to put out, and it was Saturday and Sam hadn't made an appearance for dinner at her house

Sam knocked her door one evening "Mrs Jones" she heard the familiar voice as she sat watching telly instead of looking at her homework book "Could I speak to Mercedes please?" he asked bringing a smile to Mercy's face

"Come on in Sam" she heard her Mother tell him and then he appeared at the door

"Good evening Mr Jones, Michael" he tipped his head looking at him saying "Michelle" he smiled as she beamed back at him "Mercedes can we talk?"

"Sure" she jumped up saying, backing him out into the kitchen "What's up?" she hugged him asking "It's been a while, this is nothing like we thought it was going to be is it?"

"No it really isn't, how are things for you?"

"It's school but harder" she smiled

"Same here" he rubbed the back of his neck saying

"Just say it Sam" she found herself irritated saying

"Mom told me we're moving soon, to be closer to my school, Dad says it's too far to travel in winter"

"You told them we haven't kissed or anything didn't you?"

"It's not about any of that Mercy, they want me to be closer to school that's all"

"That's all?" she asked unable to understand why he was taking all this so lightly

"I didn't mean it like that, this really isn't what I want, any of it, but I have to do what they say you know this"

"What I do know is that we promised nothing would change and since you've started that school everything's changed, everything"

"We maybe shouldn't have made those promises" he looked at her saying "We're not actually in control of anything right now enough to make promises"

"Is that you're Dad talking again?"

"That's not fair" he told her tears springing to his eyes

"None of it's fair Sam, but I expected you to... I don't know maybe fight for us"

"Fight for us, Mercy we're 13 years old, who are we going to fight?" he wiped his face asking

"I don't know I guess I'm just scared" she looked up at him saying "Everything's changing and I'm scared"

"Me too but we'll always be friends right, we can promise that?"

"Yeah we'll always be friends, I promise that" she smiled up at him as he wiped the tears from her face "You have my number yeah?"

"Yeah" he hugged her saying "I guess this is goodbye for a while"

"I guess it is" she hugged him back telling him "Here starts life" she buried her head in his chest telling him

"But you know I'll always love you the most yeah?" he rested his chin on her head telling her

"Always always" she lifted her head off his chest to look up at him saying

"I'll let you know as soon as I know about the move"

"Okay" she smiled up at him, her smile wider as he pecked her nose and let her go "Bye"

"Bye" he said sadly as he left the house

 **Mercy**

There was a certain unease with all of a sudden becoming the smallest person in the school again, there was no Prefect roll and she recognised about 12 of the people in her year from her old school. It took her a while to get used to moving around school at the sound of the bell rather than the teachers coming to them and there was some jibe from the older pupils as they played the game of sending the 1st years around the houses, making them late for class.

It took a while but Mercy finally made friends with a girl called Julie; they'd made to sit on the same chair the beginning of term and Julie had been rather nasty about Mercy sitting on her hand. They'd sort of gotten into a Ronnie situation as Julie cussed her out at every opportunity, it finally came to a head on the hockey field one Wednesday

They'd been playing the game and Mercy just happened to be on the winning side, time was about to run out as their team pulled way ahead and Julie was getting ratty, a very sore loser. "Leave the fucking ball" she shouted at Mercy as she went towards it, Mercy was shocked she'd never had any girl use those words to her before she stood frozen watching the game happen around her "Next time it'll be your friggin head" she walked up to her saying once she'd got rid of the ball

Ronnie flashed through her mind and she heard Sam saying he should have dealt with that a while ago, after he'd hit him, she was going to nip this in the bud, take his advice and slap her one how dare she "I dare you to try it" she told Julie as she stood wondering what the hell she was really going to do about it

"What did you say?" Julie came racing towards her asking

It all happened so quickly, she defended herself, it was almost in slow motion as she watched herself from outside her body lift the hockey stick up and bring it down on Julie's head so hard she heard the connect like an echo. She looked around at others running around and no one seemed to stop to acknowledge what she'd just done, everyone was scrummaging for the ball "Who's head" Mercy asked her as she lay unconscious on the grass "Miss" she shouted shortly after alerting everyone to something being wrong for Julie

"What's happened?" the teacher came running over asking, tending to Julie, of course the game finished abruptly, everyone was rushed back across to the main school and Julie was taken to hospital

It was naïve of her to think that would be the end of it, the following day they were sitting in class, trying to get their heads around French when they heard noise in the corridor getting louder every second, then suddenly she heard her name as clear as day as this boy walked around banging door shouting "Mercedes". She was trembling, she was fine with a hockey stick in her hand or even one to one but how the hell was she going to fight a boy, not just a boy an older boy. Her classroom door was the next one as everyone looked at her, she stood up waiting for this confrontation "Mercedes?" this rather large white guy stood at the classroom door asking

"That's me" she told him looking straight in his eyes

"You hit my sister yesterday, you bit.." he got out as he started walking fast towards her

She stood waiting for him to get to her, closing her eyes so she didn't see the deadly blow coming "Kevin" she heard thunderously through the class "Touch my sister and you're a dead man" Michael bellowed

"This is your sister?" Kevin stood so close to her she could feel his breath on her forehead

"My little sister" Michael warned him "And if your sister has beef with her that's between them, you know how this goes" he told him

"You are so fucking lucky" he told Mercy as he turned and walked out the classroom to whispers and gasps of relief, Michael half smiled at Mercy before following Kevin out the class, she sat down and sent up a prayer, that was the first time he'd ever come through for her, and my God it was the right time, she actually realised she maybe loved him right then at that moment, it was the best feeling in the world to have a big brother

Julie came back to school the following week and although she was the opposite of Mercy; loud, flamboyant and crass they actually got on really well and became friends

 **Sam**

Sam had drawn the short straw, he'd ended up in school with Ronnie and Linden, they goaded him for a while but once he joined the football team he had a bit of an army behind him and they soon eased up on bullying him. He'd smile every time he passed them comfortable in knowing that they weren't bullying Mercy in her new school if they were being tamed at Milton, actually some of the team taunted them now and again, he wasn't happy about it, bullying in any form and by whoever was unacceptable.

He was out on the field one day kicking a ball around, except for the team he'd really made no other friends or even made time to make any "Fancy a spar?" a voice shouted across at him as he looked up to see two black guys walking towards him. His first thought was Ronnie maybe losing Victor had made him recruit two more wannabe's "Gregory" the guy shouted as he got close

"And Robert" the other one shouted "We didn't make the team yet, but we know you did and well we thought you could give us some pointers"

"I don't know if I'm actually that good" Sam laughed, still weary of these guys coming towards him

"Pass" Gregory told him, which he did, they stood passing the ball until the game got a bit more adventurous, and a week later they were inseparable friends, Sam had his own crew now but they did nothing but play football and talk tac tics, every now and again Gregory; who was the most sexually mature of the trio, would talk indecently about some girl he fancied

He'd gone a couple of months in, they were just about to settle in for Christmas when his Dad announced the deal on the house had gone through "What does that mean?" Sam asked

"We'll be moving soon"

"Moving?" he asked shocked "I just made new friends, it's taken ages and now I …."

"... You're not leaving school, actually we're moving closer to school, we had this conversation already" he told him "It's our Christmas present"

"Present?" he asked trying to hold everything he was thinking inside him but bursting "I won't see Mercedes and her family again if we move"

"You might not that's true, but we all have to lose things in life" his Dad told him

"You will, Mavis and I are friends too, I'll try and get back as often as I can and we'll have a phone" his Mom told him smiling

Three weeks later just before Christmas they signed the dotted line and started the move into their new home "Mercy" Sam sat on the step across the road that last Friday waiting for her to get home "Mercy" he called smiling as she tried to figure out where the voice was coming from "Over here" he waved as she looked in his direction giggling for playing her up

"Sam" she smiled "It's been a while" she walked faster past her house and across to him, as he got up to meet her "God you've grown and you've got muscles" she laughed looking at him, he'd gotten even more handsome over just these few months, he was taller, his chest had expanded and god he was handsome, she was proud to call him her friend. She closed her eyes and smiled as he scraped her up into his arms making her feel safe, warm and loved

"God I missed you" he closed his eyes and smelt her hair, that familiar black castor oil he'd grown so used to shining in her hair

"So" she smiled as they sat on the step Sam had been sitting on "What's happening with you?" she asked "Quick catch up, I'm on cook duty today" she grabbed his arm telling him, she smiled up at him as he told her about school before she took her turn and watched his face drain as she explained that she'd nearly killed a girl that turned out to be her best friend, they laughed for a while before Sam grabbed her attention again

"Mercy" he grabbed her hand "We spoke about me moving the last time we spoke" she looked up at him trying to guess what he was going to say next "We're moving this weekend" he told her not letting her eyes leave him to give her the opportunity to lie about how that felt for her "It's closer to school" he added like that as supposed to make this better

"How long have you known?"

"About three weeks, but I really didn't expect it to happen this quick, Dad's happy"

"He flaming well would be" she jumped up telling him

"Mercy" he jumped up with her saying "We agreed..."

"Stop Sam, whatever this was has finished just get on with your damn life and I'll get on with mine, no more stupid promises, as you said we're too young for all that"

"Mercy" he moaned, sad for the way things were going, this was going to be the last time in a while they were going to get to see each other and he really didn't want it ending like this "I love you, I always will" he grabbed her hands telling her

"And obviously I love you too otherwise this wouldn't hurt so damn much"

"Sorry Mercy"

"I'm sorry Sam you have to do what your parents say" she rolled her eyes telling him "I don't know who the hell I think I am" she giggled

"You're the most important person in my life" he grabbed her hand telling her "Always"

"And you in mine" she reached up and kissed his cheek telling him "I guess we'll go back to the five year plan, enjoy life and send each other a record every now and again"

"You enjoy life too" he hugged her saying

They finally let each other go and went their separate way, there were tears more than once over the months as they went through the adjustment quickly turning to smiles and laughter when Sam finally made his first call to her

"Mercy" he smiled when he'd timed it just right and she'd picked the phone up "We just got the line, I miss you so much"

"I miss you too" she cried as she laughed for hearing his voice, they spent nearly an hour catching up before his Mom shouted for him to close the call down

 **13 Years Old – 1976**

The second year in school, Mercy sort of tried out her Julie phase, she'd gotten herself a reputation from knocking Julie out, and now everyone knew her brother was Michael Jones, the built like a house Rugby player that just happened to be the best fighter in school, she stood for something, she was getting away with murder. There was a girl called Trudy who came to the school at the start of their second year that just went around bad mouthing Mercy to every girl that would listen, she was new so at first she put it down to her trying to find her place in the ranks of things but after a month of the same tales Mercy took things into her own hands

"I heard you want to know stuff about me" she walked up to Trudy telling her "All you have to do is ask" she smiled

"I heard your fight with Julie was a lucky shot?"

"Lucky shot?" Mercy asked looking over at Julie as she spoke

"Plus if it wasn't for your brother shielding you, you'd be messed up so bad already.."

"So you fancy your chances?"

"More than fancy" Trudy smiled

"Behind the needlework rooms at 4pm, lets talk more" Mercy told her smiling as she walked off

That afternoon Trudy, went off to hospital with a cut above her right eye after her face connected with, well it was a fist to be blunt, but for the records it was the corner of a wall, Mercy smiled as Trudy lay telling her she'd earned her respect.

She was missing Sam like crazy and apart from her loud times at school she was very much on her own, quiet and lonely, she'd had a few calls from Sam the early part of the year, when everything was new but of course as life took over they got fewer and for the first time ever, they struggled for stuff to say, their lives were so different now.

 **Mercy**

"Mercedes" her Dad called her from upstairs one evening as she sat doing her homework "Sit down" he told her as she walked into the living room "We've had a letter from school and I guess their saying you have a choice" he told her as she sat looking puzzled

"What have I done?"

"Nothing sweetheart it's just that their moving your school, it's going to be about 5 miles away but there is a bus"

"Five miles away?" she asked stunned

"Yes, they've given the option of some pupils being sent to schools closer but we're talking the local Comp..."

"I did exams to get into this school"

"We know sweetheart" her Mom butted in "That's why we thought we'd have a conversation with you about what you want to do"

"Can I go to Milton?"

"That's not on the list sweet" her Dad told her knowing she'd be disappointed about that "The new schools in Warley I know it's far but it's a good school and there's a bus as I said"

"I guess if I can't go to Milton I'll stay at Compton" she agreed defeated

"I know you're dealing with a lot right now, what with Sam gone I guess you're feeling alone again, and change like this doesn't help but Michael will the there for a year anyway" her Mom tried to reassure her, she really didn't want to say he hardly spoke to her outside the house

"I'll be alright" she smiled uncomfortably before getting up to make her way back upstairs she was fed up with having things done to her _'I can't wait to grow up'_ she thought _'Claim my damn life back'_

A few weeks later she got a call from Sam, he sounded as sad as she did

 **Sam**

Sam had missed Mercy, the first half of the year he'd called as regularly as he could, even though they had less and less to say to each other, then suddenly half way through the year homework and football took over his life and he barely found time to sleep any more. His hormones were playing him up terribly, he didn't need wet dreams any more his imagination was running wild, he'd have the most disturbing thoughts about these half dressed girls that ran about school in the PE outfits like they were uniforms. Yet no matter how hard he tried, at the times when he most needed release the only image he could get to do that was Mercy, still after all this time, he was still seeing her face smiling at him shyly when he'd told her he loved her, felt her lips on him even though it was for seconds the memory was lasting a lifetime.

"Sam Evans" he rolled his eyes as he heard his name once again rolling off some hot girls lips, he couldn't deny it, he'd turned into a looker and he wasn't wanting for female attention, but his Dad's words rang in his head every time he thought about the act, he turned to see Tina smiling at him, she'd fancied her chances since day one, some of these girls were so forward

"Tina Jarvis how can I help?" he replied

"You want to help me, really?" she stuck her finger in her mouth asking him

"What do you want Tina?" he asked his voice more level, he really wasn't playing with these girls

"Sir said to tell you you left your bag in the changing rooms" she told him not impressed with his tone

"Oh" he looked in his hands at the realisation "Thanks" he said turning back to go get it

He finally got home opened his homework book and cried into it, he was so lonely a major part of his life was missing , nobody could even understand that

"Sam" his Mom walked into his room with a drink for him shocked to see him crying "What's the matter?"

"I miss Mercedes" he told her wiping his face

"Take ten minutes, make a call" she smiled eager for her son to be happy, Sam didn't question it, he jumped off the bed to make the call, it really was about time he found time for his girl

"Hello" he called as someone picked the phone up

"Sam" Mercy shouted down the phone "Fuck I missed you I miss you, where are you?" she asked all at once before he could say anything

"So you swear now" he laughed

"Sorry, it's the new messed up me I'm so lonely, I miss you"

"Me too, I just got into my funk and Mom's given me ten minutes to talk so let's not waste any" he laughed "What's happening go" he said as he fell silent and let her talk about the school moving, her bad ass attitude at school, her fights, Michael's new girlfriend and him

"Your turn" she ended her conversation with, and sat listening to him telling her about his temptation, football, his vivid pictures of her asking about her periods, laughing at her not being able to take his babies yet and telling her about his parents argument before he took a breath "God I miss my best friend" he gasped

"I miss you too" she sighed "I miss seeing you pass our house some mornings in the car"

"I miss seeing you those mornings we used to pass" his voice breaking as he spoke "I'm working on another record at the moment we promised that right?"

"Right" she laughed "It's your turn"

"Sam" they heard and he knew time was up

"Gosh that went quick" he looked around at his Mom acknowledging her order as he spoke to Mercy "Look I'll try and get them to go to our uniform shop I hope to see you there" he whispered "I got to go love you friend"

"Okay" she replied beaming inside "Love you back friend" she told him just before the phone went dead

The rest of the year went by, Mercy's school moved which meant she had to be up an hour earlier to get the school bus for the 40 minute journey or miss it and catch two regular buses at more than double the cost, and her parents weren't giving her any extra money for that, so dinner would be missed if she messed up, she made the bus.

The summer was piping hot, there was a water shortage, people were being fined for using water in their gardens, the swimming baths was full with parents trying to keep their children cool during the afternoons. It was logged as one of the hottest summers to date in the UK and Mercy was basking in the garden at her Aunt Joy's house, she didn't mind, Julie had started her period and her parents had her locked down saying she couldn't be trusted, so Mercy had no one to hang with anyway

Mercy went to the uniform shop smiling, it had been a year nearly since she'd seen Sam, she was sure he'd have a present and a hug for her, but her entire visit was full of expectancy and later disappointment when they left without seeing him

 **14 Years Old - 1977**

The year started flat, Sam hadn't got his way and gone to their usual uniform shop, he'd built himself up to seeing Mercy so much he felt like his head was about to explode when he got back home and slammed into his bedroom. She'd be thinking he wasn't even bothered, didn't try hard enough or something and that just made him mad

"Sam" his Dad shouted upstairs at him banging the door, he knew better than to dally around at his Dad's voice, he went straight downstairs and fixed his face quick "What the hell is all that banging about?" he asked

 _'Because you fucking knew I needed to see Mercy and you went to another fucking shop on purpose'_ he thought his blood bubbling inside "I didn't mean to slam it I just let it go too fast, and I said sorry"

"Not loud enough" his Dad slapped him up the head saying as he moved his head out the way "Don't give you Mom stress" he ruffled his hair telling him "There's a good boy"

"Was that it?" he heard his Mom ask his Dad as he went back upstairs to get on with his mad, smiling at his behaviour as he went, he broke their rules as he listened to the records that they'd brought each other as high as he could crank it, to drown out the argument his parents were having right now, swearing that the first thing he was going to do as soon as he was old enough was find Mercy

Mercy had, broken into her teenage years and with that came some new rules, she was happy her parents had agreed to recognise her maturity, and she vowed to herself she was going to be responsible about it "We need you in for 9.30pm on school nights and no later than 10pm on Fridays, you go nowhere weekends, and as long as you do your chores and attend church on Sundays, we'll stick to our agreement" her Mom told her as they sat round the dinner table like she was on trial for something

"I will" Mercy nodded her head telling them

"We'll allow you to go out with either Julie or your brother nobody else, so don't ask" her Dad told her

"I won't" she smiled as she felt the conversation was coming to an end, she'd figured on saving money each week to get enough to get a bus over to Selly Oak to see Sam for a few hours or something once a month, she'd take Julie with her of course, because this emptiness she was feeling wasn't going away

 **Mercy**

The plan was in place she knew what she was working towards as she made ready for school some three months later, Christmas just over with and she'd finally got enough to, make the journey to go see him and go for something to eat or something

"Mercedes" Julie jumped in front of her excitedly saying "They're finally going ahead with the disco's we asked for about a year ago, the first one's on Thursday do you want to come?"

"I was planning on asking you to come with me to..." she thought better of it and stopped herself "Thursday?" she asked to give herself some time to think "Yeah I'll come" she smiled

"Bring your clothes because it's straight after school" Julie told her laughing

Thursday came around quick and as they stood in the changing room with all the other girls, Julie was introducing Mercy to bright red lipstick "I don't like it" Mercy rubbed it off saying

"Try this one" she said throwing a deeper red across to her

"That's better" she said slapping her lips together to even the look out, rubbing her hands down her burgundy hot pants twin set and puffing her hair to get that fresh afro look she loved nowadays

"Hot to trot" Julie grabbed her hand saying as they made their way to the disco in the school hall

Julie playfully grabbed a guy on the way in and every time Mercy looked at her she had another guy standing in front of her, she was lively like that anyway, she sat at the table wishing Sam was there to make her not feel so out of place "Drink?" she mouthed at Julie from across the dance floor indicating with her hand what she was asking, smiling when Julie nodded she got up and went to the bar

"Thanks" Julie came up behind her saying as she stood waiting for the drinks

There was a bit of a commotion at the door as a group of guys came through the door, Mercy and Julie turned to see what was going on, Mercy recognised the guys "I thought this was just for kids at this school?" she asked Julie

"No it's for 13 to 16 year olds, anyone can come that's why there's so many teachers" she looked at the guys walking towards them saying

Mercy's heart sank when Linden, Ronnie and Victor came to rest in front of them, she puffed hard for the embarrassment she was going to endure right now "Jules" Ronnie said leaning in to kiss her, Mercy stood frozen, she was friends with these damn guys "Mercedes" he smiled

"You know Mercedes?" Julie asked him smiling at her friend

"Yeah we went to junior school together we used to mess with her head literally" he laughed

"Well that shit stops now or we're done she's my friend, my best friend actually" Julie told him

"Jules" he whined at losing his entertainment

"I mean it Ron, I'll walk" she warned him pointing her finger at him

"Truce" he looked at Mercy saying without hesitation

"Truce" Mercy replied apprehensively, watching them walk away "Julie what the hell are you doing with him?" she asked

"He's my boyfriend"

"Boyfriend, is this serious?"

"Serious enough for me to love him"

"Mercedes thick Jones" Victor walked up to her saying

"Back off Victor" Julie stood in between them telling him

"Your white boy ain't here to defend you now is he?" he asked her over Julie's shoulder attracting attention

"Ron, call your boy off" Julie shouted as Ronnie came walking over

"Guys" he walked up to the crowd of them saying "Please just rest up, leave the girl alone or I'll get no peace" he rolled his eyes telling them, she knew there was no sincerity behind it but right now she had nowhere or no one to run to

"Okay" Victor smiled "if you're a friend of Julie's you're a friend of ours" he held his hands up telling her

"Smile" Linden said as they all looked towards him and he took a picture "One for the album, our first disco" he smiled as Victor kissed Mercy's cheek and he took another snap, she wanted to slap him but they'd just called a truce so she left it

Things were just too weird for her just then and all she could hear in her head was Sam telling her to get the hell out of there, she made her excuses and disappeared to the bathroom "Are you alright with those guys?" a voice asked her as she touched the bathroom door

"They used to bully me in junior school" she told Patrick or Paddy as everyone called him, from her class, his long curly dark brown hair tied back off his face as strands of frizzy hair flopped around his face uncontrollably "It's not my best night"

"Stick with us we'll make sure you get home alright" he hugged her saying "This is Palvinder or Pal my brother,, from another Mother" he laughed, pointing at an Asian guy with a Turban, she knew his face but his name was new to her, she looked at the two guys standing in front of her smiling

"You know my brother right?" she raised her left eyebrow telling them

"Right" they laughed

They went back to the disco, Mercy danced with the brothers and some other girls they were with for the rest of the night, telling Julie she was fine to get home with one of the girls and finally left the disco

"Should we kiss?" Paddy asked as they reached her door

"No" she smiled at him "I'm nothing like Julie, I saw you with her earlier, I'm not my friend" she told his sharply

"Okay" he smiled holding his hands up "I'm not who you think I am either, but sorry"

"Sorry accepted, just don't let it happen again"

"Friends?" he asked his face begging

"Friends" she laughed at his face, before turning to enter her house "Goodnight" she told him shutting the door

 **Sam**

Sam had been fighting his emotions for the longest time, Gregory had a girlfriend all they ever did was kiss, he touched the ball she kissed him, he walked off the field after a foul she kissed him, they went to a lesson she kissed him, it was almost a blue movie every single time.

He was walking home, when he saw the poster on the pupil board about the disco at the new Compton Grammar he was immediately excited, he hoped Mercy would be there and went home directly to talk his Mom into letting him go "It's in a weeks time" he told her hoping that she'd be able to plan something before then

"Your Dad should be back by then, he'll be able to take you, I don't want you travelling that distance at night" she told him setting him alight with anticipation

The night of the disco he got dressed, put his striped summer jumper and wide legged trousers on, with his low platform tan shoes, he looked hot "Ready" he came down the stairs smiling at his Mom's face, he felt like he was going to the end of school dance or something, he couldn't lie he'd made the effort.

"Dad's in the car" she hugged him saying "He'll pick you up at 9.30pm on the dot, so be outside"

"Bye Mom" he pulled out of her arms saying to go get in the car

He heard the car juddering as he got outside and rolled his eyes, wondering why his parents had never bothered to afford a new car "Everything alright Dad?" he asked as he jumped in

"Sorry to disappoint Son but I don't think this old things going to shift tonight" he tried the key again to even less sound than the previous time

"Seriously?" Sam asked, he wanted to scream, cry, shout and even hit out "I really needed to go to this disco Dad can we get a taxi?"

"And how are you going to get back?"

"I cold come back in the taxi" he suggested

"That's too expensive Son, sorry" his Dad turned telling him as he took the key out and opened the car door

"Dad I really need to get to this disco" he shouted at him uncharacteristically and just like that he'd lost the argument

"In" his Dad shouted, he walked into the house, and straight up the stairs, taking care not to slam the door as he went into his bedroom and slammed himself on the bed, the fact that his Mom was downstairs arguing his case for at least an hour didn't change his Dad's mind

The next day, he was tired and he really wasn't in the mood for Ronnie when he came up to him talking about the disco they'd been to "We saw your ex girl there, I say ex because she's with Victor now" he announced

"What?" Sam's head shot up asking, he smiled at the crap coming out of Ronnie's mouth right now trying to wind him up "Yeah right" he told him turning to walk away

"You don't believe me?" Ronnie asked

"No I don't" Sam laughed "Mercedes wouldn't go near him I know her"

"Ask Lindon to show you the pictures he took of last night and you'll see" Ronnie told him

He walked around the school like a mad dog looking for Lindon, Robert finally caught up with him and asked questions but Sam was too mad to talk "Lindon" he shouted as he burst into the boys toilets

"Sam" Lindon replied surprising him

"Ronnie tells me you have pictures of Victor and his new girlfriend on your phone"

"Sorry Dude I thought you two had finished" Lindon laughed as everyone in the toilets looked on "Yeah she's with Victor now" he told him "Really good kisser apparently" he told him taking that specific Polaroid out of his bag along with the other pictures "That was just before he asked her" he showed him a picture of Mercy and Julie standing looking at the camera "And that was just after she said yes" he showed Sam the picture of Victor kissing Mercy's cheek

"That B …." Sam said punching Lindon as he spoke, he only got one punch in before Robert pulled him away and took him to the changing rooms to calm down "I want to kill them" he huffed, this wasn't just about Victor he was jealous too jealous, he still loved her and she knew it so why did she do this "Fuck it" he finally stood in front of Robert saying "Fuck it" he took a deep breath and walked out

Two days later he was walking down the corridor with his first official girlfriend Claire, of course it wasn't something he'd ever imagined doing but if Mercy was moving on, he wasn't going to be left behind. Claire was trying out for the Netball team she wasn't having much luck, she was crap actually, scared of the ball, the other players, the whistle everything, Sam Gregory and Robert generally stood around laughing at her girl like approach to the game, she was more liken to games with pillows and soft toys.

His mad with Mercy soon died down, and as his heart started to take her on as a friend again he finished with Claire, she was much too needy, and football became his life again

 **15 Years old – 1978**

There was silence on the airways, Mercy had moved away from Julie and made friends with Paddy, Pal, Cherry, Nicky and Lynn, they were nerds really, but they were cool nerds, who didn't stand for bullying and had her back. Paddy had become more like a best friend, he hadn't tried a single thing since that first night he'd walked her home.

Sam had got into the girlfriend racket, Gregory and Robert were hot on it and he just kept up with the game, they talked about going all the way with some of their girls but Sam knew better than that, his Dad could be an animal when you crossed the line with him. He'd asked Sam on various occasions not to mess with the girls, warned him a kiss was enough and no matter what he thought he was feeling, the back of his Dad's hand was always going to feel worse, so no sex before marriage or at least until his Dad confirmed that he could be responsible about it.

 **Mercy**

The girls were in the Netball team and Mercy sort of joined by default but then realised she was good at the game, much better than she was in junior school, she quickly got the Goal keeper spot and intended on staying there

"Two weeks time we'll be playing Milton Grammar we need to be on point" Miss Deacon told them as they stood in the changing rooms after a crappy practice session "If you girls have nothing more we can pull out of this game now" she said looking around the room at the disgruntled faces

"We can do it Miss" Lynn, their amazing Centre player, said back as everyone stood shaking their heads agreeing with her

"Excuse me" Mercy said running away from the crowd of girls to visit the toilet, she used the toilet and attempted to get up thinking she was done, concerned when water kept pouring out of her body, she wiped herself before she got ready to scream and found blood "God this is it" she grabbed more tissue saying stuffing her pants with tissue so that she could get to her bag to get the items she'd carried with her since junior school

She needed to call Sam and tell him she was able to have babies now but, she didn't know how to get in contact with him, she just said it in her mind and smiled as she heard him say "So you can take my children now" and she knew that when their time came there'd be nothing more she'd ever want

She suddenly jerked herself back with the recent news of the Match against Milton, she was bound to see him there, he'd know that her school was coming and surely he'd want to see her, she'd sit and talk instead of showering, and maybe he'd have a present for her too. She trained hard, no way was she going to be left off the team for this crucial game.

The day of the game came and thankfully Mercy had earned her spot on the first team and she was off on the minibus to Milton Grammar school, she walked through the gates and was a bit shocked, having gotten used to walking into a new purpose built premises, she smiled at the privileged she afforded at her school

They went to the changing room to get changed and then out onto the field, Mercy looked around at the few people standing around expecting to see Sam, she couldn't concentrate on what was happening for her scanning, as the whistle blew it was clear he wasn't around. She kept vigil the whole game but in the end as they walked back into the changing block she had to face the fact that as much as she'd fought against it their friendship was over, she didn't get to tell him about her period or for him to give her their next record.

She was quite on the ride home even though they'd won the game 12 to 7 with ease, she'd lost something very special

 **Sam**

"Sam" Elaine; a girl that had been chasing after him for some time now purred at him, she'd been out with Robert and that was what was stopping him from going there, he knew what Robert and Gregory were like "Are you coming to watch me play?"

"Play what?" he rolled his eyes waiting for her loose response, these girls were too forward for him, he stood wondering if Mercy was being like this at her school and decided he knew here better than that, and if she was with Victor she'd at least be faithful

"Netball, we're playing against Compton in two weeks time and I'm goal shooter I hear their keepers an animal" she laughed "But she really hasn't met me yet" she laughed

"Netball?" he laughed "That's a crap game"

"Not when tops get ripped and knickers shift all over the place" she raised her eyebrow telling him

"I'll think about it" he walked off thinking about their punishment days in Junior school when Mercy joined the netball team just so they could spend more time together "I wonder?" he asked himself as he walked smiling before he remembered she was with Victor and of course he was going to be there, he didn't care about him or anyone else he was still going to be cheering for Compton, his best friend was in that team.

The day arrived and although Sam was excited he was aware she was with Victor, he'd gone out on the field earlier on but the jibes from Ronnie and his crew, that had grown by two, were riling him, he was nearing getting himself expelled, the picture of his Dad knocking him out in his head, eventually making him make the decision to leave them to themselves. He didn't want to cause anything for her either, she'd been with this guy for a while now, obviously she felt something for him, but he so needed to see her.

He finally found a classroom that had been left open looking out onto the field, he sat in the dark watching, it was hard to follow the game without any volume but he was only following Mercy, he laughed when he realised the animal was Mercy "Good comparison" he chuckled as he watched her playing and looking around for him "I'm here" he told her almost hoping she'd hear him. He watched her shouting, being ruthless, playing the bully, helping her team and laughing when they finally won the game "Yes" he cheered punching the air

He watched her celebrating as some of their supporters standing on the sidelines filled the court to hug and jump with the team, watching Ronnie and his crew as they just stood looking on, no reaction except maybe disappointment "Surely Victor should have been pleased for his girl" he asked himself looking at Victor's face and then Mercy as he watched her take no notice of the guys standing there, he brushed it off as her still wanting to be private about her stuff, waited until the pitch was empty and left the room and shortly afterwards the school

 **16 Years Old – 1979**

This was it exam year, the pressure was on, Sam forgot about everything gaming and focused on his subjects, he'd hoped to get his best marks in English and Music and anything after that could be A- and even B, but just before he'd locked his choices in he changed his mind, he wanted to go into Editing, something to do with news, he got some firm career advice and pursued his goal with a vengeance, so he had extra exams.

Come June and all the course work and exams were out the way it was time for the End of school mash up, something that happened across the borough all the schools tapped into hiring a central venue and all the 5th years would pile in with so many teachers present, you had to wonder who'd come to enjoy themselves, it was just one big party with cake and theme.

"Sam" Elaine called, she was still trying although she'd been the girlfriend of a few more of the team since her first try "Will you go with me to the dance?"

"No Elaine" he tilted his head sadly, but sarcastically, saying "I've already asked someone" he lied

"Oh" she half smiled walking away, looking back at him

Sam walked off down the corridor and met up on Susan "Susan" he smiled he was a plain looking girl, and he actually liked that she liked her natural self, she'd never come at him like that just gave a smile that told him she wanted to be a friend, but he never had any space in his heart for more than one friend so he never let her in. "Will you be my date for the dance, just as friends?" he held his hands up asking

"Friends yeah?" she smiled

"Strictly friends" he agreed

"Fine" she smiled wider and that was it he had a date

Mercy had been on it with the final year of her schooling, Michael had gone on to University, his plan was to go into pure science and that made her parents talk about him at every given opportunity, she needed them to talk about her like that and tried everything to reach her goal

She cried when she walked out of her last exam she was so stressed _"Don't come back telling me they advised you to become a secretary or work in a factory, I don't want that for you"_ her Dad's voice ringing in her ear "Well I did my best" she looked up telling no one in particular. She'd decided in her 4th year that she wanted to go into teaching, her guidance mentor had sat with her and had many conversations about her being so specific and minimising her chances by zoning in like that but she was adamant

"It's over big bird" she heard bringing a smile to her face "You've given it your best I know that" Paddy stood behind her telling her "Now play, I'm taking you to the dance, no arguments" he held his hand up telling her

"I'm so tired"

"You are and you need to let that beautiful hair of yours down because once you start college, there is no rest" he laughed

"I don't want to go though"

"Listen to my truth friend" he turned her around before looking around "I like boys, there's no one here like me and seriously I'm pissed at having to hold that in, mixed black and gay" he frowned making her laugh "I don't want to go, you don't want to go, we'll go together, stop our parents questions"

"I guess you just telling me that, makes you think I owe you something?" she asked

"Just a little something, no dancing I promise" he laughed

"Okay we'll go" she laughed

 **The Disco**

Mercy was with the first group of people that got to the venue, they stood at the makeshift bar drinking pop from plastic glasses, trying to look like adults

"Mercedes" Julie shouted across the room as she walked in with Ronnie on her arm "I miss you" she smiled as she hugged her

"You don't even come to school any more what the hell are you doing here?" Mercy laughed as she hugged her

"I work now I didn't see the point in carrying on" she laughed pulling away

"I see Ronnie's still fixed" she looked over her shoulder at the usual group walking towards them

"Absolutely, we're going to be parents in 7 months time" Julie pulled away form her cupping her tummy

"God Jules what the fuck?" she grabbed her mouth asking

"It's cool, we planned it"

"I guess that's alright then" Mercy rolled her eyes telling her as she watched Ronnie and his crew still walking towards them, cracking jokes at everyone they passed

"Big Bird I guess it's a bathroom break for us" Paddy whispered in her ear

"In a bit" Mercy kissed Julie saying as she walked off with Paddy into anywhere, those guys weren't

Sam's parents along with Gregory, Robert and the girls parents had put together to get them limo driven to and from the venue, they'd gone the scenic route getting them there 30 minutes late. All three walked in with dates on their arms, Sam's eyes meeting with Victor's almost as soon as he stepped in, he felt a ping of jealous as his mind pictured him with Mercy kissing, he didn't know how he was actually going to react to that. He looked around the room for Mercy _she must be close by_ he thought but frowned when he didn't see her

"We're going to hang our coats" one of the girls said as Sam looked round to acknowledge them speaking

"Mercy" he gasped as he looked directly at her coming from the bathroom at the side of the entrance, she was a woman curves and all, she didn't have pleats in her hair any more it was long and straight kinked at the ends, she had make up on, nice make up not caked on just perfect. She had on a beautiful bottle green dress with alter neck and a necklace that simply showed the letter M around her neck "You look beautiful" he smiled, it was inevitable they were going to cross each other because of where he was standing

"Sam" she smiled "Thank you" her eyes raising for this even more handsome man standing in front of her, she was too happy to see him but sad she'd missed all that time watching him grow into a man

"Sorry" he finished talking to her with his eyes before he looked around at the rest of the group he was with "Mercy these are my friends Gregory and Robert and their girls and this is my friend Susan" he smiled "Guys this is Mercedes my best friend"

Mercy's eyes were focused on Susan, he could tell she was hurt about him being with her, but if she'd actually listen to him, which by her face he knew she wasn't right now, she'd have head him say friend "Have a good night" she smiled up at him and walked away, he stood wondering how the hell she was having attitude with him when her damn man was standing less that 6 foot away from them.

He decided to block it all out and have a good night, he needed to, he was standing in the dance with Susan but his eyes never left Mercy, he watched her with a group of people laughing, dancing and drinking but she didn't speak to Ronnie and his crew and she sure didn't pass a look let alone a word with Victor

"Jules, tell your goon" Sam heard across the room as he stood at the bar trying to get some drinks, he looked over to see Mercy shouting at a girl, he turned fully to watch the play, ready to pounce nothing like that was going down while he was there. She had some more conversation with this tall girl before the two of them looked at Ronnie and the tall girl started talking to him

 _"How the hell is she putting up with this damn drama?"_ he asked himself as he stood watching

"Bird" he heard, gasping for the disrespect "Come on ignore them" this rather tall gangly boy gabbed her arm saying, Sam's blood started to boil "They're scum" he said as the music stopped and everyone looked in this guys direction

" _She's not with him, Ronnie lied"_ he said to himself as he watched Mercy and this guy going towards the bathroom. His plan was to wait until she came out and confront her about the photo and what Ronnie had said, he stood with the drinks on the bar, the barman standing waiting for money and him watching the bathroom door, waiting to pounce

"Sam" he heard spinning around to see Susan standing there "I thought you went to buy drinks?"

"I did" he looked at the bar saying as he gave the tender the money and picked Susan's drink up and gave it to her still watching the door

"Gregory said to tell you the Limo's back we need to go" she looked up at him saying

"Give me a minute" he told her still focused on the door

"Sam, I'm going to miss my curfew" she whined at him, holding her coat up for him to put on her back "I need to go now" she demanded. Sam looked down at her he wanted to send her on her way but he'd asked this girl to be his date and he was disrespecting her and disobeying instructions from her parents in not getting her home on time. He grabbed the coat off her and threw it over her shoulder when she turned around before taking a large gulp of his drink and leaving the rest on the bar

"Come on" he pushed her in front of him saying as he scanned the bathroom area for Mercy "Shit" he hissed when he realised he was going to have to leave the venue without saying what he wanted to say to her, and sad when he realised he didn't know when his next chance would be

Mercy had been secretly cussing all night for Sam coming with a girl on his arm, she'd not thought he was coming but when she opened the bathroom door and saw him standing there her heart jumped out of her chest, she wanted to dive at him profess love, tell him about her period and everything that had happened since she'd started Milton. Every time she looked around for him his crowd where in hot pursuit and she didn't feel right calling him away from his date, he'd called her a friend and she had no reason to not believe that

She'd finally blown out at Victor and his Damn friends making their usual tiresome jibes at her and her new friends, julie was being about as much use as Ronnie would have been, Paddy saw her reaching slap mode and pulled her away from the argument she was about to have, by the time she came out of the bathroom, Sam was missing, scanning the room as much as she could, she still couldn't find him, she'd missed her opportunity to talk to him yet again

 **End of School**

Their school days ended, it was the holidays and nearing their birthdays, Sam went out and brought them a record it was his turn, it had taken five years but it was his turn

"That one please" he smiled as he selected his choice, Mercy would be bouncing around to that, he was going to make the trip to their uniform shop, on their Saturday in the hope that he might see her, if that failed he was going to her house, this needed sorting

On that Saturday he made the trip to the uniform shop and stood outside waiting for well over an hour hoping to see Mercy, nearly 90 minutes in he felt someone push him "Sam" Michelle smiled up at him, she had Mercy's eyes but that was the only thing they shared

"Michelle" he hugged her "Where's your Mom?"

"At home I guess" she looked up at him saying "Mercedes is taking me to get my Uniform but she's taking Paddy to look for dresses" she laughed "Closeted Gay" she rolled her eyes telling him making him laugh

"Sam" he heard as his face spun round to see Mercy

"Mercy" he smiled letting go of Michelle

"Sorry this is Paddy a friend" she told him as Paddy stood knocking her for Sam's cuteness "Paddy this is my best friend Sam" she smiled at him as the two men smiled at each other and shook hands

"I've been waiting for you" he told her

"Paddy will you take Michelle in, I'll be there in a bit?" she asked as she fanned them in "What did you want?" she looked up at Sam asking

"To give you this" he held his hand out with the plastic bag in it "Happy birthday" he smiled

Mercy stood opening the bag and squealed when she saw a copy of **'I'll Be There' by Michael Jackson** "Thank you, happy birthday to you too" she hugged him saying before they went in the store to sort Michelle out, the rest of the afternoon was spent catching up on 5 years worth of news, Sam finally gave Mercy his phone number and communication lit up again

"So I'll visit once a week" he got up telling her

"And I'll do the same" she smiled

"Hey" he smiled as she turned to look at him "Here starts life"

"It really does" she giggled

"Always always" he laughed


	3. Chapter 3

**CHAPTER 3**

 **17 Years Old 1980**

Sam had done well in his Exams, he'd got five A+ three A's and two B's more than enough for him to get him a place at Birmingham College, where he'd decided to take the journalism route and signed up to a Foundation Certificate in Journalism.

College life was made for him, he hadn't left home or anything, but he was for all intents and purposes free to do as he pleased, he was getting a proper allowance from his parents, which enabled him to take a trip back to Quinton some evenings for Mercy and him to hang out, life was more like they'd envisaged it back then when they were in Junior school. Mercy would come to his college on her day off and they'd create havoc in the recreation room when as a double team they'd monopolise the pool table.

Mercy had surpassed her brother in getting straight A's she'd managed to get eight A+ and two A's meaning she was more than deserving of her spot at Halesowen College doing her foundation course in Teaching, she'd also gone through the skills tests and was well on her way to getting her goal

"My parent's aren't looking too good" Sam sat in the cafe in Quinton telling Mercy "I'm sure they stayed together this long for me" he rubbed his head telling her "I don't know if I hate myself or them more for that"

"That's your parents stuff not yours, they'll work it out and you know it has nothing to do with the way they feel about you" she grabbed his hand smiling at him "You don't have a single hate bone in your body" she laughed

"Oh I do" he giggled

"So" she took the straw in her mouth, looking at his worried face while she sucked up her drink "Why do you think they're ready to split?" she asked as she let the straw go

"I didn't say they were going to split" he smiled at her "Maybe I did" he blushed telling her "Dad's been travelling even more than he did when I was little, I guess it's his way of saying he wants out, I don't know I could be reading too much into it all"

"I think you are, they're solid" she smiled "Your bus" she screeched as he jumped up looking at the time, grabbing his coat and throwing the cups away as they left, she saw him to his bus and walked the short distance down the road home, with a promise to go see him the following week

College life was much like that for the two of them as they concentrated on their exams, when the time came and each other all other times. Two years were soon up and the day of reckoning was there, they'd met in the park near their old junior school, as planned, to open their results

"Did I do it?" Sam asked as he watched Mercy reading his results letter "Please tell me I done it?" he held his head telling her "Mercy" he said when she looked up at him her face blank "Shit" he throw his hands up saying "This is cruel, please, did I do it?" his eyes wide in expectation

"Of course you did it Sam" she hugged him saying "I'm so proud of you" she told him as their cheeks pressed together and they stood hugging each other

"Okay" he finally said pulling away from her "Your turn" he ripped the top of the envelope and pulled out the letter, he stood with the folded paper in his hand, his eyes wide asking her the unspoken question

She looked into his eyes smiling "I don't know you have the damn letter" she laughed at him

"I predict it's going to be positive" he smiled

"I'm not even rising to it" she fanned his smiling face away saying

"You're not?" he asked walking away from her

"Sam" she whined as she watched him "Just tell me" she giggled nervously "This is cruel" she slitted her eyes telling him "Put me out of my damn misery" she crossed her arms in front of her chest telling him

"Okay" he opened the letter and stood reading it "Mercy Jones" he said disappointment in his voice "You did it" he smiled, they jumped about celebrating their results for a long while before Mercy reminded him she had to be home to start the dinner, and they walked off towards her house "I'll come for Saturday soup" he smiled as he watched her walk into the house before he walked off to go get his bus

Saturday was soon here and Sam was knocking Mercy's door sniffing in the smell of the long awaited soup as he stood waiting to be invited in "Sam" Mercy smiled "We need to talk" she pulled him into the house, through the living room and into the front room

"Are we supposed to be in here?" he asked looking around at all the doilies on the coffee table, cabinet tops and fire place, everyone with ornaments on "You'll pay if we break anything right?" he stood there asking

"Sit down" she told him ignoring his freak out "I need to talk"

"Talk" he sat down next to her saying, his tone suddenly serious

"I got three offers" she looked at him saying

"Me too" he smiled "I didn't know how I was going to broach this, we only just found each other again"

"I got unconditional offers at Birmingham, Leeds and Wellington" she looked away saying "If you want me to I'll choose Birmingham" she quickly added feeling the tension in the room

"Is Birmingham the best one"

"Not really, Wellington isn't even in the running, it really doesn't have the programme I'm looking for, Leeds is where I really want to go but if you don't want me …."

"..I want you to be the best you can be Mercy, it's not about what we want right now it's about our future, if Birmingham isn't it then choose Leeds, we've been here before, our friendship can get us through everything" he grabbed her hands telling her

"So you want me to go?"

"No" he huffed "I never want you to go, but if that's where life is taking you, and you're happy about it, that's what I want for you"

"So where are you going?"

"I didn't get into anywhere in Birmingham, I didn't apply, but I got my specialist University which is in Cambridge" he looked at her for a genuine response

"I'm happy for you Sam, really I am" she hugged him telling him

"So you're going to Leeds yeah, giving yourself the best chance to teach?"

"Yeah I'm going to Leeds, I'm going to be that teacher we dreamed about" she smiled

"And I'm going to be that Journalist" he smiled "Here starts life yeah"

"Here starts life" she smiled as they sat touching heads together, wondering what life was going to be like again

"It does, and I love you" his eyes met hers saying

"Always, always" they entwined fingers telling each other

They had their birthday together, Mercy brought them an authentic signed copy of **'Doctor My Eye's' by The Jackson 5** "Wow" Sam smiled as he took the record out "You get me every time" he laughed "This is fantastic" he hugged her saying "I won't play it until I see you again"

"Pinky promise?" she smiled

"Definitely, until we're able to jump up and down on that terrible green sofa bed until Mom shouts" he laughed putting his pinky out for her to grab "This feels like goodbye, but I refuse to take that" he hugged her saying

"We'll never lose what we have, will we?" she stayed in his arms asking

"I'll always love you the most" he rested his chin on her head telling her "No matter what, I'll do anything for you just ask"

"And I for you" she looked up at him saying

 **19 Years Old – 1982**

Sam was pleased to move out the house finally, his parents were going at it like two school children, he hadn't heard mention of the dreaded word yet but he knew for sure it was bubbling up in there somewhere. He threw everything he could think of, except their treasured record collection, into his Dad's car and made the journey to Cambridge University excited to start his Journalism Degree.

Mercy had cried constantly for nearly a week, and Sam had been over to see her a few times, they were both feeling fragile about this next step in their lives. Mercy had never really been one to make friends easily and she was panicking for being in Leeds for a minimum of three years with no one, of course they'd agreed to keep in contact as much as possible and to get home for holidays.

The first year that happened, everyone was pleased to see everyone, they spent time together as well as with their old school friends and stuff but by year two Sam was involved with a girl "Her names Faith and she's kind of alright, we've been spending a lot of time together and I'm thinking of asking her out" he told Mercy over the phone

"Sounds serious"

"Not yet but I guess it could get that way, what are you thinking?"

"What do you mean?"

"I won't see her if you don't want me to"

"Sam come on, I'm your friend not your girlfriend, if anything like that was going to happen for us, I'm sure it would have happened already"

"That's not because I never wanted anything to happen, but I just need you to be my friend, I don't ever want us not to be friends" he told her

"Me neither" she purred "So Faith, what's she like?"

"She's alright, she makes me laugh and I feel comfortable around her" he laughed "Have you found anyone yet?"

"I'm not looking, you know me, focused" she laughed "But you'll be the first to know when I do"

"I'll bring her down Christmas holiday for you to meet her"

"Great"

"If you don't like her be honest won't you?"

"Of course" she laughed "Not to her face, but I'll tell you"

That Christmas Mercy met Faith and they got on, Sam was happy about it he was feeling this girl was special, the holiday season ended they went back to University and things settled again.

 **21 Years Old – 1984**

 **Mercy**

"Mercy was enjoying University life, she hadn't made any one friend she'd just tagged onto groups and had a good time discussing stuff of interest and drinking. There was a particular group she found interesting, they were into music, old school stuff and that was her thing, they were fascinated that she could get signed copies of records from her Uncle who was in the business in America and started putting their orders in.

Beth was a brown haired girl, sort of a plain Jayne, that she'd paired up with for study time, she was one of the lucky ones she'd got to attend University with her best friend Tony. Tony was the typical Jack the lad, a black boy who knew everything about everything according to Beth but he had one of those characters that made you have to like this rough rouge look he had going on and he talked with conviction. They'd been to some parties over the last four months and Mercy was buzzing that she'd found a group of like minded people, MJ was her thing, he'd always been her thing but she started to listen to other soul singers too and she enjoyed the time she spent with them, she was comfortable

"Mercy" Beth called as they left the student bar after a rather lively debate "We're going to our first house party tonight do you want to come?"

"I don't know" Mercy frowned holding her books to her chest

"Come on, It's a motown night we're bound to hear some tunes" she tugged at her sleeve almost begging her to go "And I don't want to be the only girl in the group"

"A favour for a favour, get me a ticket to the 1970s gig in town" she bargained

"Done" Beth laughed

"Shit you got them already" Mercy laughed cutting her eye at her "That wasn't fair"

"Alls fair in fun and music" she smiled walking away from her "9pm" she smiled

Mercy just about had time to get home and get ready she hadn't had time to think about sitting to eat and came out munching on a slice of cold pizza she'd found in the fridge "You look hot girl" Beth shouted walking towards her

"I don't know if I can get us all in but I'll have a try" Tony laughed as the ten strong group made for the door where Mercy and Beth were standing

"Is this thing by invite?" Mercy asked concerned

"All these things usually start out on invite don't they?" Beth replied grabbing her arm to lead the group out of the student bar

They got to the house, and music was already pumping out at a decibel Mercy really wasn't used to "God this is loud" she covered her ears saying as they stepped in, hardly able to make the song out the base was pumping so hard, her eyes burning almost immediately for the smell and cloud of cigarette mixed with weed thick around the room "Can you smell that?" she asked Beth

"Mercy don't be such a prude" she hissed at her already bouncing to the sounds coming out the speaker

"And this isn't motown" she hissed back at her

"It's reggae Mercy, you know reggae right?"

"I know reggae Beth" she cut her eye at her saying

"Chill" she told her without looking at her, before she walked further into the room, everyone now following Tony

"Drink?" Tony spun round and asked her unexpectedly

"Usual" she smiled at him, he was always kind to her

"Take no notice of Beth she should have told you it was a blues party, sucks if you're not into this kind of thing" he told her before turning to get the bar tenders attention to make his order "Shout them out lads" he called to his group of friends "Stick with me you'll be alright" he smiled at Mercy as he threw some money on the bar and grabbed her hand

She didn't know whether it was his strong arms, the sweet base of the music or the strong smell of intoxicating weed but when **'With You Boy' by Revelation** came over the airways and he turned her round to dance with him she didn't resist, she turned lay her head on his shoulder and let the beat and his hips take her wherever he wanted to. She stayed there for a while as one music melted into another and soon she was moving like someone who'd been dancing with men for a long while. She looked to her left to see Beth well into the dancing, her skirt hitting the floor as she rubbed on Clive; one of the guys in the group, she really wasn't up for doing that with Tony, Sam would kill her.

"I'm going to get some air" Tony finally said wiping sweat from his forehead "I'll bring you a drink on the way back" he stepped away leaving her facing the wall, she turned and smiled for seeing nearly everyone in the room doing the same thing as she'd been doing, getting down and dirty with their dance partners, she liked the scene, it reminded her a bit of Michael's dances only the lights were brighter than they were now, there wasn't this much base and dancing wasn't so x-rated.

She stood for a while waiting for Tony to get back with her drink, rubbing her throat, swallowing her saliva and trying to use her top as a fan "Tony's outside he told me to tell you to go to him, he's just on the step" Beth told her cutting her eye at her as she spoke. Mercy was going to take issue with it but on looking back she knew if that had been Sam ignoring her all night to dance with some random she might have reacted the same way, she just smiled and walked towards the exit

"Tony" she smiled as she saw him standing near the entrance waiting for her

"I think we need to talk" he grabbed her hand and walked off into the night away from the crowd at the door, they walked for a while talking about everything and nothing suddenly stopping as they came to the entrance of a disused factory

"Where are we?" she asked looking back at him now he'd stopped walking

"We'll just go in here" he pointed at the half open metal door telling her as he looked to his left and right before guiding her into the dark place

"What's up Tony?" she asked a bit weary of her surroundings

"You know I've liked you for a while now yeah?"

"Well yeah we're friends" she looked up at him, he'd stepped so close to her she could feel his breath on her

"Tony" she gasped unsure what he was asking right now all she knew for sure was that she was scared "We need to go ..." she got out before she felt him press up against her and his finger pushed her chin up for his lips to catch hers

"Be quiet" he let her lips go for a second telling her

"What?" she gasped

"I said be quiet" his eyes telling her she was in danger if she disobeyed him

She froze, feeling left her body, as she felt his hands start to searched her body "Tony" she gasped frightened this was going to go very badly for her,

"I said be quiet" he slammed her body on the hard brick wall telling her his face like thunder

"I..." she got out before her voice itched as his fingers invaded her core

"Shut up" he held her neck telling her, she'd have called it rape but there was no shouting, struggle, or even mention of the word no, she just stood there as he took her body, calmly and for him there seemed to be passion while all she could think was _'He's a friend, I've known this bastard for nearly two years and this was why he was my fucking friend, this was why he was my fucking friend'_ she was screaming in her head. She didn't know how long it went on for, but she felt her chest get release and then his wet lips touched hers, she couldn't look at him, she pulled her underwear up and walked away. She walked back up the street they'd walked down and passed people laughing and drinking outside the party "Beth" she gasped when she saw her standing looking at her, she needed help but the smile on Beth's face told her she was in on it, she ran past and caught a taxi home.

She said nothing to no one, the feelings of humiliation and the embarrassment of it all saw to that, the following week she moved out of halls, cutting all ties with everyone, got herself a bedsit, which was twice as expensive as halls, but safer and never made another friend for the two years she had left there, she couldn't bear to be touched by anyone, and became irritable, snappy with anyone that tried to get in her space, isolating herself totally

 **Sam**

Sam was getting things together with Faith, they were getting serious "Mercy" he'd phoned her one night all excited "I think I can use the L word" he laughed

"You're in love" she squealed "I'm so happy for you guys"

"Seriously?" he asked, thinking this conversation was going to be harder

"Seriously, I love you why wouldn't I want to see you happy?"

"I don't know whether to let her know now or wait, I intend on trying the living together thing see if we can live in the same space and everything you know"

"Tell her Sam, this is so romantic"

"I think we'll live in Oxford, it's where her people come from and well I just think she'd prefer it and I want to make her happy" he finally run out of wind telling her

"There's always a phone and I'll have somewhere to crash when I come to party, or visit my Godchildren" she laughed

"Children" he blew "I'm thinking moving in's a big thing you're talking children" he laughed

"Tell her Sam, I'm rooting for you" she told him as they spoke about student life, study and results before closing the call

 **22 Years Old – 1985**

University was finally over, he'd done his Diploma in the first year and snagged a decent 1st in his BA (Hons) in Journalism and he was job hunting, it took him less than a month to get himself a job in the Oxford Times and he was floating already living his dream. Faith and he had left Uni and moved in together as planned, she was busy trying to get her placement in a local Law firm but her 2:2 wasn't cutting it against many of her peers and she'd finally taken a job doing some middle management job in the local library until something more her thing came up, life was good for them, on every other level, and Sam finally decided to take that next step

"Mercy" he called as he sat in their flat looking at the things in his bedroom "I want to sleep with her but..."

"But what?" she asked not understanding what his problem was

"Well I'm sitting hearing your Damn Dad if you must know and I really don't want to do anything until we're married" he told her

"Are you serious Evans?" she gasped not able to understand where he was coming from on this

"Deadly, you know your Dad said all that about it being sacred, something that finally ties a man and woman together and my Dad's pregnancy shit, I don't know"

"Have a conversation with her Sam, sort it out, she'll let you know if she's ready" Mercy told him

"What's the matter?" he asked sensing something in her voice

"Nothing, tired I guess" she told him closing it down

That Summer Sam and Faith went to Leeds and spent some time with Mercy, they went out a few times to wine bars and for meals, but Sam knew the night life wasn't really Mercy's cup of tea so they didn't push it, plus she had several places for them to see so they kept reasonably busy for the two weeks before they went back to Oxford

Christmas for Mercy and Sam was a phone call, Sam had agreed to spend Christmas with Faith's family, his parents were going over to see his Uncle Ken and crew and he really wasn't feeling it so he was happy for the alternative option.

"Hi" Mercy walked into her parents house smiling, as everyone jumped up to greet her, it was rare the family got together now a days with Michael off overseas on the rigs doing his thing, Michelle was just in her second year at University doing Dance and their parents were working all the hours god could send to ensure she was financially comfortable enough to get through it without stress on the money front

"Sweetheart" her Mom kept hold of her saying "It's good to have you all back home"

"I come with news" Mercy smiled "I got in to do my Masters, and I got a job at a school in Leeds"

"That's too much" her Dad told her

"It's what I want to do"

"She's young" Michael grabbed hold of her other arm telling everyone

Christmas morning she got her usual call from Sam before they went off to Church and came home for a lavish dinner before they opened presents "Here's another one for you Mercedes"her Dad said passing it across

"It's from …. Sam" she said surprised he'd not said anything earlier that morning "It's a mobile phone" she laughed "With a note" she took it out reading it 'My number's the only one you're allowed to phone' she read smiling at his madness, she didn't know anyone else with a damn phone anyway, she called the only number in the memory and laughed when he answered "Thank you, it's lovely but, what if I put that kind of restriction on you" she giggled

"I've only got Mom & Dad, Faith and you on mine"

"So why can't I have Faith's number?" Mercy asked

"Because she hasn't got a mobile phone" he giggled

"Favouritism" she hummed

"Always" he laughed

"Go spend Christmas with your new family" she told him kissing him down the phone before closing the call

 **24 Years old – 1987**

Faith had made the decision for them, they were waiting until marriage and she was strict on it, he was getting nowhere past the clothes and he was frustrated as hell sometimes but he respected her and didn't moan just went about getting himself in a position to propose quicker

"Mercy" he called when she answered her phone

"Sam what's wrong?" she jumped and sat up in bed asking

"I just wanted to know if you were going home this Christmas"

"At this time of night?" she asked with a giggle "I plan to why?"

"I needed to speak to you"

"So this is what?"

"Face to face, I need to speak to you face to face"

"I'll be there for Christmas"

"Christmas then?"

"Yeah, can I go back to sleep now?"

"You may" he laughed blowing her a kiss and closing the call

Mercy lay in bed wondering what it could be that Sam wanted to talk to her about, she concluded he was going to propose, he'd talked about it a couple of times in passing, she knew he loved Faith and it seemed like a natural progression for them it had been some four years since they'd been together and she hadn't proved to be anything but good for him, she smiled and got cosy again in her bed to fall asleep.

Christmas came and Sam just about got into Birmingham before he made the call to Mercy asking for her to meet Faith and him in their cafe, an hour later Faith and he were sitting with drinks in front of them and one ready for Mercy waiting "Hi" he smiled jumping up to hug her as she walked into the cafe

"Hi" she smiled up at him looking at Faith waiting for her hug "Faith" she left Sam and hugged her saying

"Mercedes, it's been too long" she kissed her cheek telling her

"Too long I miss you guys" she tapped Sam's chest telling them before they sat down, she sat opposite them waiting for the news, smiles on their faces "Don't tell me" she held her hand up at them "You guys are finally going to tie the knot?" she squealed as she watched Faith nodding her head smiling "I'm so happy for you guys, congratulations" she jumped up again hugging them as she spoke

"Thanks" Sam beamed

"Oh" she hugged him saying "I'm losing my best friend" she held him for a while saying "But I'm getting two friends for the price, better than none" she grabbed Faith's hand saying as she looked into her eyes

"Hey" he grabbed her attention saying "You'll always be my best friend"

"No I won't" she giggled "or at least I hope I won't, Faith will know everything about you now" she laughed "Wife should always trump friend Sam remember that" she laughed "And don't you go worrying about me, I'm a big girl now" she warned

"I'll try" he kissed her cheek telling her before she let Faith go and he grabbed hold of his fiancée "I was nervous of telling you, I don't know why" he confessed "I guess you've always been my constant and I care what you think"

"I'm always going to be happy when you're happy" she smiled as they drank their drink before ordering food, they talked constantly about the pending wedding, they'd already agreed it was going to be the coming summer

"I know Faith expects you but I'm pulling rank here I expect you at my stag do, it wouldn't feel right without my best friend and well, it's our last official best friend outing together, what do you say?" his puppy eyes came out begging her to take his side, she stood wondering when he's actually become so damn cute

"Is that alright with you?" she asked Faith

"It's fine, Sam usually gets what Sam wants" she smiled grabbing his face and pecking his lips

Eventually lunch was finished and they went their separate ways, meeting up several times over the holidays. Sam was at Mercy's parents house getting some of his favourite Saturday soup when Mercy announced her news "Guys" she looked around the table demanding attention "I've decided to do my Doctorate, I just got me a job at Leeds College and as part of that I can do that, so hopefully next year I'll be on the way to being a professor" she smiled

"That's brilliant" Sam jumped up and hugged her so tight she struggled to breathe

Soon the season was over and everyone went back to their jobs, lives and ambitions

 **25 Years Old – 1989**

Mercy seemed to turn into the wedding planner after that, everything that needed to be decided Sam was on the phone to her asking advise, his demands on her seemed to be getting more intense as the time drew nearer. Although she was in Leeds and he was in Oxford the distance could have been those 10 doors away the mobile phone world was marvellous.

"Mercy" he huffed over the phone "She's still insisting on this blue theme thing, I'm at call off point, I'm not getting any say in any of this damn day"

"Are you marrying a colour or Faith?"

"Well Faith, but if you talk to her tell her if she doesn't forget that damn colour there is no wedding" he huffed "And you're supposed to be on my side" he reminded her

"I am on your side always" she giggled "But Sam it's a colour for crying out loud"

"It's a colour I don't like"

"Sam" she whined and he knew she was getting impatient with him

"Sorry Mercy" he blew out saying "I just feel like if she gets everything she wants now that's going to set the tone for our whole damn life and I'm not up for that, you know I'm not up for that"

"Compromise"

"How do I do that?" he asked "I just don't like the colour" he sat waiting for her to answer "Mercy" he called for not getting a response "Mercy" he said again looking at the phone to see it was still connected "Am I missing something?" he asked "I know you're there"

"Sorry Sam, I was..." she tailored off without giving an explanation

"Is there someone in your life you're not telling me about?" he asked to another silence "What's up" he asked still to silence "Mercy something is up, are you getting married and you don't want to tell me because you think it will cloud my wedding?" he asked laughing

"No there's no one" her response so quick it unsettled him

"Mercy" he said uncomfortably down the phone "You're still a virgin aren't you?" he held his breath asking "I mean we would have had that conversation wouldn't we?"

"What?" she asked

"You heard me, are you?"

"No"

"So where the fuck is this guy, you didn't give me a name let alone anything else, we agreed"

"He's not around any more, and that's as much as I want to say about it"

"I know there's more to this, you know this conversation isn't over?" he told her and she knew he was serious but for now there was nothing he could do about it, she smiled at the fact that she could bury again what had just come to the forefront of her mind

"Wedding plans?" she asked reminding him of the reason for his call

"I can't think about that right now my best friends shutting me out and that hurts in all kinds of ways" he sulked down the phone

"Sam"

"Don't Sam me" he laughed "We will talk about this"

"Yeah after the wedding yeah?"

"We'll see" he replied they talked some more before Mercy finally closed the call down

 **The Stag Night**

School holidays came around real quick after that, Sam and Mercy had more like conversations with him trying to find out what was going on with her, he really needed to drop everything and go see her, but she was working and so was he. Two weeks before the wedding, it had been planned in the summer holidays because he was determined Mercy was going to be there as his best person, the stag night was planned

They'd planned on meeting at the local pub, near his parents house, for a few drinks before the night started, Mercy clung to Sam as she watched Gregory, Robert and a few of his football team come in looking happy and ready for a good night. He introduced his friends to her as they came in and to each other as they arrived as they sat drinking and telling stories of times gone by. Mercy had a flash back and gripped Sam's arm tighter than she ever had, he looked at her but he didn't try to move her. She sat almost on his lap as the guys sat around talking all things male, some guys from University coming in changing the tone of the conversation

Faith was up in Oxford having her hen night, all her school friends were there along with Sam's cousins from Jersey and his Mom and Aunt, Sam had planned another night to entertain his Uncle, Dad and Faith's Dad not wanting them to crash his lads night out. They'd booked rooms at the hotel for those coming from far and a spare room just in case some of his school friends couldn't make it home

"Okay lets get this party started" Sam clapped his hands saying "We've booked rooms at the Dagma so if anyone can't get home no worries" he told them getting up with Mercy's hand in his "Oh" he spun round as they reached the door "I don't care how pissed you guy get no hitting on my girl Mercy" he looked around telling them "That's not even a joke" he warned as he pushed the door open and they left for the Dagma

As the party started the group got loud, Mercy sat watching about a dozen drinks in front of her waiting to be drunk, she was keeping her eye on the ball, she hadn't been in a situation like this since that dreadful night she was trying to forget. Sam was knocking them back and getting even more louder than his crew of merry men

"Mercy" he sat down laughing "My fucking heads gone I've had too much to drink" he laughed "I'm gonna stop I need to look out for you" he told her hugging her as he spoke

"Thanks" she smiled looking at the table full of drink "Will you get those guys to drink these shots and get me an orange juice?"

"Yeah I think that's for me too" he laughed "Orange juice" getting up and going over to the guys, there was a long conversation before Sam pointed at the table full of drink and the guys went over to grab glasses, while Sam went to get the orange juices

Mercy sat frozen as the guys lingered around grabbing drinks and making conversation she really didn't want to have, she smiled politely and looked around for Sam as she spoke answering their questions carefully

"Hey Guys" Sam shouted as he got close, seeing Mercy's face

"We were being nice" Gregory told him pushing his shoulders up telling him he had no idea what was up

"You alright?" Sam sat next to her asking

"I'm fine" she smiled at him

"You're not Mercy, you're scared of something, I thought we shared everything?" he asked almost angry for her hiding stuff from him "Ever since that conversation we had a while back, I knew there was something and I just guessed you'd tell me in time but..."

"Really Sam there's no... I don't want to talk about it" she looked across at him saying

"I'll stop this stag night, honest I will, tell me what's going on for you?"

"Not here" she looked around telling him "After the party, we'll talk after the party" she assured him, the party might as well have ended then for him, he sat watching her she was sad, really sad, she smiled when she caught him looking at her or the guys made some mad joke or did something stupid but when he really looked at her he knew she was sad.

 _'Maybe she's not fine with all this Faith stuff, she's just acting that way to keep me happy, maybe she's jealous and, well, feeling messed up about that'_ "Or maybe she just doesn't want to be here" he told himself "I should have given her the choice of being with the girls, Faith's her friend too" he finally got up and went to sit next to her "We need to talk I don't like this feeling" he told her grabbing her hand and walking out of the noisy club "Michael" he shouted to her brother "Wind this down for me yeah?"

"Yeah" Michael waved as he watched the two of them walk off "Get her home safe" he shouted flopping back in his chair

They got to the hotel room and Mercy stood watching him open the door and moving aside for her to walk in, he poured two glasses of water and sat next to her on the couch "Okay" he smiled "Talk to me" he turned to look at her asking "Mercy please just talk to me" he grabbed her face asking her

"I don't want to, it's not really your business" she spat at him, her mood flipping to angry in seconds

"You are my business" he jumped up telling her "You'll always be my damn business, I love you Mercy"

"You love Faith Sam"

"Is that it you're jealous, you don't want me to get married?"

"It's always going to be about you, isn't it?"

"No it's always going to be about us Mercy, you're the most important person in my life"

"I am?"she asked sarcastically, jumping up out the couch and moving towards the bar to get a drink

"What the hell does that mean?" he asked watching her pour her drink "Mercy" he walked towards her asking "What the hell does that mean?" he stood in front of her shocked as she pulled her hands up in front of her, looking at him with fright in her eyes

Sam stood mad looking at her "Has someone hit you?" he asked is face pained, Mercy was shocked at his tone "Who hit you?" he shouted again standing over her

"No one" she straightened up telling him as she looked into his eyes before she burst into tears and fell into his chest

"Mercy" he said his voice much calmer, she was hurting and he didn't know what to do about that, but there was no one else to fix this, this was his job, he hugged her as she cried loudly in his arms "Come on" he finally said when she calmed herself down "Tell me what's happened?" he walked her to the couch and they sat down

It took her a while to start talking and he sat quietly waiting for her to compose herself and get her story out, he sat with her in his arms as she told her story of that dreadful night, the friends she thought she had, how a female actually betrayed her trust, what happened in that dark place and how she was too scared to even fight, speak or think "I just feel dirty, ugly, humiliated, unloved, who the hell wants to love me, actually I don't want to be loved" she finally looked up telling him "I just need to be alone for a bit" she told him getting up and going into the bedroom, he heard her crying again before the door shut

"Come on" he finally told himself after struggling with his conscience before deciding to open the door and deal with his friends heartache, this was a horrible thing that had happened and she'd never forget it, he'd never forget it, but he needed to make her feel again "Let's get you in the bath" he walked across the room and into the bathroom to fill the bath for her "Come on" he grabbed her hand saying as she followed him willingly and stood as he undone her clothes for her to climb into the bath. He grabbed the flannel and slowly picked up water and run it down her body as she sat still, her head bent looking at her reflection as he turned on the whirlpool and sat watching her. "Mercy" he finally spoke smiling as she looked up at him

"Sam" she half smiled

"I don't know how to fix this" he smiled "I can't take away how that man made you feel, I can only say I know you better than anyone on the planet and I know this was not your fault, you didn't deserve any of it, you thought they were your friend and they were the one's that betrayed that trust you put in them" he turned her head to look at him saying

"I wish I could believe that" she told him pulling her head out of his hand

"You're not dirty, and you're truly the most beautiful person I've ever known, I love you, I've always loved you..." he tapered off as he watched her swiftly jump up and step out the bath "What?"

"Nothing" she grabbed the towel telling him as she wrapped herself in it

"So" he grabbed her arm asking "Why did you flick me off when I told you l love you, I always love you the most, I told you that" he pulled her back to him telling her "Don't you believe me?"

"I love you the most too" she looked into his eyes telling him, the hurt he saw overwhelming

He bent his head the short distance and kissed her, it wasn't the peck they'd shared all those years ago it was invasive, long, warm and they both reacted to the contact. There was a fusion of feelings and thoughts as Sam pulled her to him and Mercy's hand grabbed the hair at he back of his head and forced his lips to stay with her

"I love you the most Mercy" he looked into her eyes telling her "I'll do anything to make this right for you" he grabbed her lips again, this time he let her lead as they fell into each other

"Stop" Mercy said suddenly pulling away from him as she spoke

Sam stood looking down at her, his eyes full of want "I love you Mercy" he told her as she pulled him back in and grabbed his lips again, this was a different feeling, as her mind remembered that dreadful night her joints, in contrast, loosened as she found herself relaxing against him, and he felt her giving herself to him "You're alright with us being together?" he asked before taking her lips again looking into her eyes telling him yes

"I love you Sam" she told him as his lips trailed down her neck and she lifted her neck to accommodate his touch, All that existed at that moment was Sam and her and at this very minute they fit _"Fuck Faith"_ she thought jogging herself out of her mood, she loved Faith what the hell was she doing "Sam we can't do this" she pulled him up telling him

"Honestly, my minds telling me all of that, but I've loved you since I was maybe 9 years old and that obviously doesn't just go away"

"You're getting married"

"I know" he smiled down at her saying his eyes pure mischief "But I love you"

"You love Faith" she reminded him

"I guess I do, but it's nothing like what I feel for you, you're in my heart always"

"Sam" she rolled her eyes at him saying, smiling as he rolled his too, before grabbing her lips again and this time he didn't let them go

Mercy's mind went there, all that existed was Sam and her she could feel his heat burning through her, her hands were doing their own thing, she didn't know how she knew what to do she was being led by her heart right now and every part of her needed to touch every part of him and his felt like he needed the same thing as his hands wondered around her body before they found their way under the towel "Can I" he asked, scraping her up so gently in his masculine arms

"Yes" she answered closing her eyes as his hands wondered on her naked skin as the towel slowly slid down her body and found itself a pile on the floor. Suddenly he was detached as she stood naked watching him fumble with his shirt buttons, a look at embarrassment on his face, she smiled having only ever seen that face on him once before, when he'd told her he loved her for the first time back in Junior school, before she started helping him

Eventually he too stood naked in the middle of the room, grabbing his trousers to find that faithful packet of condoms he kept in his pocket just in case Faith ever changed her damn mind "Protection" he told her holding them up

"Ambitious" she smiled

"I need to make you feel as beautiful as I see you Mercy, I intend to wipe out that image that guy put in your head tonight, and I want to remember my first time for the rest of my life, but I also need you to know what love making feels like with someone that really loves you, so you'll never be fooled again"

"Sam Evans" she smiled as he moved towards her and grabbed her lips, this time they went all the way to heaven on that one way ticket they'd brought all those years ago back in Junior school, a few times

"I bought you a present" he smiled when she woke up the following morning "It's my turn right?"

"Yes it's your turn" she giggled as she watched him get up naked and grab the plastic bag off the top of his case

"Sam" she laughed as she opened the gift and a copy of **'We've Got A Good Thing Going' by Michael Jackson** popped out

"I brought it before all this happened for us" he laughed kissing her as he flung himself on the bed

"And seriously" she smiled "Thank you for raising that bar for me, I guess it was something I needed that I didn't even know I needed" she pecked his lips saying

"I feel a but" he looked into her eyes telling her

"There is" she frowned "We can never do that again"

"The only person that's thinking about Faith in this situation is you" he sat back away from her telling her

"Are you going to lie and tell me she wasn't in the room last night?"

"No I'm going to tell the truth and say, she didn't come into the room unless you spoke about her and I threw her straight out as soon as you stopped mentioning her"

"Sam" she smiled

"It's true" he laughed "But I can guarantee you're going to be in our bedroom every time we sleep together if we get married" he smiled as Mercy gave him a look "What?" he looked at her asking "You're my first, your bound to stay in my mind, forever and if I'm totally truthful with myself, I wanted it that way too"

"Sam once you get married, and you will, she'll be your wife, please don't disrespect her like that" she sat up showing her naked torso to him as she spoke

"I have no more condoms" he looked at her swollen nipples telling her, as she pulled the cover up over her "Too late I know what your feeling already" he smiled grabbing the covers off her and talking her nipple in his mouth "I watch videos" he laughed as his lips went down her body, a short while later a smile on his face as he heard that he'd managed to master that art too

"God Sam" she rolled on the bed smiling for his pleasure "You just upped that fucking bar"

"I don't want you with anyone else" he sulked "I'm going to be jealous I'll tell you that now" he warned

"Please make the effort with your marriage, Faith's a nice girl"

"There you go again" he rolled his eyes telling her "I can't make a promise on that, but I'll give it a damn good try" he grabbed her hand telling her "You don't just fall out of love with someone, you've loved all your damn life"

"Let's focus on Faith" Mercy smiled determined to put her back on the table, she needed him to stay focused, she was not going to be the reason those two never made it to the alter, she couldn't live with the guilt

"I'll try that's the best I can do" he told her getting up and heading to the bathroom

They both finally got dressed and left the venue, with their clothes from the previous night still on, Sam grabbed the taxi and dropped her off at hers before going back to his for a change of clothes. Sam went for Sunday dinner at Mercy's parents house before they kissed and parted company as he went back to Oxford and left Mercy to her Summer in Birmingham

Sam was constantly on the phone to Mercy, there was uncertainty in his mind about the whole damn thing, Mercy had talked him down so many times over the past 10 days she was seriously wondering if she was doing the right thing in pressuring him into marrying Faith

 **The Wedding Day**

The church was full as Sam stood in the vestry with Mercy and his Dad "I'm not up for this Dad" he told him his eyes refusing to look at Mercy knowing she'd have her shut the fuck up face on, she seemed to want this wedding to go ahead more than he did

"Is this nerves son?" he asked grabbing his shoulder

"I just don't want to do it"

"Do you love her?" he asked as Sam looked at Mercy, he needed an answer

"I guess"

"You guess?" his Dad asked shocked

"He does he's just super nervous today" Mercy butted in

"Mercedes sort him out" his Dad told her leaving the vestry to them

"Sam what are you doing, what the hell are you saying, you know you love Faith stop messing about"

"You say I love Faith Mercy, you know how I've been since we... "

"Sam" she rolled her eyes saying

"I love when you do that" he smiled

"Look you do love Faith what we did is just clouding things right now, once you two are together you'll forget all about..."

"..Don't say that, it's never going to happen, I'll never forget about what we have"

"Had Sam, what we had"

"It's not even about all that between us Mercy, after that night I felt love too, and I'm just not convinced that what Faith's giving me is love"

"Why?"

"Could you help the way you felt in that room the other night?"

"No" she looked into his eyes telling him

"Neither could I, and Faith and I have been around each other like that for nearly five years now, and never has that feeling come over me, she's never provoked it, surely that tells us something?"

"Because she was saving sex for marriage" Mercy rolled her eyes telling him

"I get all that Mercy, but never not even once, come on" he stared into her eyes asking "Even you've got to see that as strange"

"So what are you saying Sam?" she looked up at him asking

"Maybe we're not sexually attracted to each other, maybe she's not the one. maybe I'm making a big mistake, maybe..."

"Stop" she held her hand up telling him "You sound like you're looking for reasons not to and I can't be the one to give you those"

"What do you want me to do?" he looked at her begging for the right answer "I mean truthfully"

"I want you to be happy" she told him bringing a smile to his face "With Faith" she told him as his face lost it's smile

"And that's your truth?"

"Our truth Sam, nothing can come of a relationship formed on cheating"

"We didn't cheat, that had nothing to do with my relationship with Faith, it's not something that ever happened for us, intercourse I mean, I feel like I'm cheating on you now in doing this thing with Faith" he slammed himself down on the chair telling her

"I just told you the truth Sam" she grabbed his shoulder telling him

"Fine" he said she knew he was angry, but there was no way she was being at fault for this day going wrong "Here starts life?" he looked up at her as he spoke, defeated in his attempt to get her to choose him too

"It does, and you know I love you the most"

"Always, always" he smiled as they entwined fingers telling each other before he got up and followed her out into the main church, nodding at his Dad as they found their place

Mercy stood as Sam and Faith went through their vows to each other smiling when Sam turned to get the ring from her, she could tell he wasn't happy with her but he was here and he was getting married, suddenly the Priest was announcing they were husband and wife and Faith lunged towards him like a weight had been taken off. Sam took the kiss and Mercy could have sworn she saw genuine love in his eyes as he looked at his new bride. She stood contented that his choice seemed to have been the right one, pleased with herself for fighting for it for him, then the second Faith let go of his lips he turned and kissed her cheek and grabbed her hand, holding her eyes and she saw even more love in his eyes, it was only for a few seconds, but she swore everyone would have noticed that oddity

"Sam" she finally whispered, watching as he blinked his eyes and came back to the now

"The most" he told her letting her hand go as she looked around awkwardly "I saw you, I was talking to her but I saw you" he smiled

The reception happened straight after as everyone got up and said their piece, Mercy got up and professed to not have much to say, conscious of what that stuff in church could have looked like to everyone, but Sam egged her on and she finally got up and said more

"Hi again everyone" Mercy smiled nervously as she stood in front of about 300 people all eyes on her again "As I said before my names Mercedes and Sam and I have known each other for well.. all our lives really" she giggled nervously "When Sam first told me I was making a speech, yes I said told" she laughed looking at him "I thought it was a punishment for something I must have done wrong at some point that he hadn't told me about"

"Never" he shouted across the room

"But pretty soon I realised it was an honour to be asked" she smiled at him saying "Because I realised how important he placed me in his life, just like they've invited us all here today because they believe us to be important in their lives, and their day is made whole for us being here" she said as everyone clapped

"As Sam's sister from another family" she laughed "I have a unique view of his life, he was a happy, spoilt, only child. I couldn't get over the amount of toys this one person had in his play room, come on that was impressive a play room at the age of 4" she laughed "We shared some great times during our early years and I'd really like to share those with you guys but our code, born back then still holds water today, so I'm afraid I have to take the fifth on all of that and just ask you to take my word for it when I say he's a solid guy" she told everyone, laughing as Sam blew breath for the relief of their antics not being revealed, blowing her a kiss as a thank you. The truth of it was, there was no code, she just wasn't willing to share a second of their time together with anyone, not even his wife, if she wanted to know shit she'd have to ask him, their secrets were what made them who they were to each other, best friends forever

"Sam I know you'll all agree, is a catch by anyone's standard and Faith is the lucky woman who caught him, and I love you guys, I really do but Sam please don't be offended I just have some tips best friend to best friend" she pointed to herself and then him saying "She's always right, she'll always need those new clothes, the word fat doesn't exist in your world any more, I'm just saying" she raised her hand telling him as Sam protested and everyone laughed "Seriously" she carried on when the laughing died down "We're here to celebrate not only the fact that you're here celebrating this union today but the journey you've been on to get here and the beautiful life that's ahead of you guys in your time together, I love you, to Faith and Sam" she raised her glass saying

"To Faith and Sam" everyone stood and echoed as they clapped

The cake was cut, eaten and the drinks were shared in true tradition before the first dance took place and they danced to a beautiful tune, Faith's Dad's brother's band had written for them, Mercy sat smiling at the beautiful moment they were having, she'd done well. She didn't think it was something she'd ever be able to do, but she felt comfortable in the fact that she was sharing her best friend, no he wasn't happy about it, but for her their friendship meant more than a quick delicious fumble in a hotel room and then a sharp goodbye when one or the other couldn't commit to keeping it up. He was settled in his job right now and it seemed Faith's career wasn't shifting for now to anything serious but, for Mercy, life was just getting started, she'd just started exploring where life could take her and she needed the freedom to do that, to be who she really wanted to be, Sam's girlfriend was way too much pressure.

Soon after the disco started and Faith and Sam were working the room thanking their guests and receiving cards, present and words of wisdom from well wishers "Mercy" Sam walked up to her as she sat reflecting "This is our dance I promised" he smiled holding his hand out for her to grab "I just couldn't get that old green couch here" he smiled at her puzzled face as a familiar song came out of the speakers making her laugh as she grabbed his hand and got up to mad dance with him on the dance floor as they listened to **Doctor My Eyes' by The Jackson 5** come over the airways, they hugged at the end of the dance

"I'll always love you the most, forever" he whispered in her ear, hugging her as he stood his mind telling him to stop as he dreamed of her being his bride, of walking off into the world with her in his arms, this was what he wanted but she'd wanted something else, he really didn't know what, but whatever it was he'd still be there as her friend and that was more important than not having her in his life because he'd chosen to argue it out with her. He saw Faith coming towards them but he couldn't let go of Mercy, this was his last hold for a while, the next time they'd see each other might be different because this woman coming towards them would know him in a different way, he looked up at her and hated her for that second for coming in between them.

"And I you" she pulled away from him saying as they stood looking at each other for a while just before Faith appeared behind Mercy and she hugged her too "Take care of him" she told her

"Will do" Faith smiled kissing her cheek before grabbing hold of Sam "Come on" she pulled him saying as he stepped off to follow her, stopping just steps away form Mercy to look back at her

"Always always" he smiled

"Go" Mercy shooed him saying tears falling as she saw him walk away, she looked around and quickly wiped her face

"God" Sam pulled himself away from Faith and grabbed Mercy saying "I miss you already" he hugged her saying

"Just go" she finally pushed him off her saying, smiling as he walked away, less than an hour later they were gone off on their honeymoon, while Mercy went back to Leeds after the holidays to carry on with her teaching.


	4. Chapter 4

**CHAPTER 4**

 **26 Years old – 1990**

Slowly Mercy found confidence again, her night with Sam had somehow fixed her, she was still weary about making friends and trusting new people, but she felt like she wanted to be touched sometimes and that was a long way off where she'd been at for the past 5 years.

She'd been at her placement at Leeds University and fell into a conversation with Ricky a Math Professor

"Hi" his head popped up from the book he was reading as she walked into his classroom

"Hi" she walked in smiling "I believe this is where I'm based Mercedes Jones" she held her hand out telling him

"Hello Mercedes Jones" his tone telling his interest straight away "But I don't think your in the right place, where are you looking for?"

"Room 521 or was that 421" she smiled at him

"This is 521" he smiled "So it must be 421 and that would be downstairs directly under me"

"Oh sorry" she looked at him a bit embarrassed but smiling

"I could walk you down"

"No that's fine I'll find it" she turned to go back to the door saying

"You're starting today then?" he asked as she got to the door

"Yes I'm doing my Doctorate placement for three months"

"I remember it well" he smiled "If you need anything you know where I am"

"Thank you" she smiled walking away towards the stairs thinking he was cute, his dreadlocks high top, shaped facial hair and strong arms appealed to her, he really wasn't bad on the looks either, not that those attributes were important for her looks said nothing for a persons character, she knew that only too well.

Over the weeks they'd met in the canteen, library, car park and even the local cafe across from the university coincidently and it soon became a running commentary that one thought the other was following them

"What do you say we plan to do something together instead?" Ricky asked one day after she'd accused him yet again of following her

"Like?" she asked smiling

"Something random like get a coffee" he replied laughing "In a restaurant maybe?" he looked at her asking "After dinner" he added

"I could do that I guess" she smiled

They took to going to very public places, doing public things which went on for a few months before Mercy felt comfortable enough to let her guard down, her placement had finished and she was three months away from getting her qualification.

"Sam" she called down the phone excited that she'd made the decision to go public with Ricky "I think he might be the one" she told her best friend

"Ricky?" he asked dryly

"Yes Sam Ricky" she laughed "he's asked me to go to Florida with him, and I don't know what came over me, I said yes"

"When are you going?"

"The Summer holidays just after I finish my exams"

"For how long?"

"Two weeks, I trust him"

"Are you sure?"

"I trust him Sam, we've been seeing each other for nearly five months now" she paused and looked at the phone before she carried on "I think this holiday's going to be it for us, I guess if he wants to I'm willing to go all the way"

"Really?"

"Really" she laughed

"Don't laugh Mercy, I'm jealous"

"Why?"

"Because I know what he's going to get I guess"

"Sam" she frowned down the phone

"I love the way you say that"

"I still love you the most"

"And I you" he replied

Florida was the first of many trips they shared, travelling was Ricky's thing and every holiday he'd find somewhere exotic or weather testing for them to be, that first Christmas was at his parents house and Mercy sort of expected them to spend their second at her parents house, but he planned and paid for them to spend the time in a remote cottage in Wales. It was a nice time away from all the hassle associated with teaching, thinking about anyone else, the strain came when for their third Christmas Ricky booked a trip to Gambia

"I'm not feeling this trip I need to spend Christmas with my family, you need to spend it with my family" she threw the plane ticket at him saying

"I thought you'd have guessed by now this season isn't my thing, I don't want to think about it"

"I get that and I've agreed to it for the past two Christmas' but, I believe in Christmas and I need to be near my family"

"I thought you liked going away, being alone..."

"I do, but I love my family too" she rolled her eyes telling him "I feel like you're monopolising my time, you don't actually give me an option on these trips you just book them, I'm spending less and less time with my family and that really isn't what I want, family is important to me"

"Well it's not to me, what are you saying Mercedes?"

"I'm saying we're different Ricky, my Sunday's are about Church, family dinners and prayers, yours are about walking around the Cotswold's, or sitting in the Lake District, and although all that is beautiful, I long to be home"

"I don't want this to be the end for us I love you, and I need you to be happy, so what do you say I ask before I book and if you choose to visit your family then that's fine, we'll link up when we can?"

"That's a compromise" she smiled walking up to him for a hug "I love you too"

 **28 Years old - 1992**

That first month everything was fine, he did his thing and she joined him when she wanted to, but his resistance to visit her family at least once, grated her and eventually she wasn't complying to any of his wishes regardless of having the time or not and the relationship slowly fizzled out

"Can we go talk?" Mercy asked as she stood outside the University doors waiting for him to come out

"Sure" he rolled his eyes saying as they walked the short distance to the cafe "Usual?" he asked grabbing their drinks and joining her at the table she'd sat at "I can guess what this is" he looked at the cup telling her "I know it's not working and it's no one's fault, we just don't have enough in common to keep this thing going"

"You know that" she smiled "But you're a good friend, you've shown me so much of the world in such a short time and I'm grateful, I'd like to keep you as a friend"

"I can't keep you as a friend Mercedes, I'd constantly want to blur those lines, I love you"

"I've been offered a job at Aston University, it's closer to home for me and well, I guess that's my full circle, I was thinking about it, but I guess I'm going to seriously consider it now"

She walked away from the cafe and found her car before she grabbed her phone and called Sam to fill him in on everything that had happened

"So you've split up?" he asked his voice flat

"What's up with you now?" she asked rolling her eyes, he was finding married life full of compromises on his part, he wanted to move, she wanted her family close so they stayed in Oxford, he wanted a house, she wanted a penthouse flat so they lived in a high rise, he hated the colour blue so she'd decorated the flat in blue and green

"Nothing" he told her "You're just going to tell me I'm being childish, selfish even paranoid "

"But I'm still going to love you in doing that, Talk to me"

"It's been three years now, and as you know when we first did it, had sex I mean, it was good, I guess I could have called it fun, I really didn't want to talk to you about all that so I kept it in, plus I'm not saying all this to hurt you right now either" he waited for a response but got none "We don't have sex any more not regularly anyway and seriously, I'm not even sure how I feel about that, glad in one sense because, it wasn't ever me and you kind of love and sad on the other hand because I know this isn't my life, I can't live a loveless life not after..."

"What you don't love her?" she asked shocked

"I don't think I do, I look at her and I feel nothing, I don't hate her but she's changed, she selfish, if it's not about her and her family it's not about anything"

"What do you mean?" Mercy asked, she wasn't able to visualise this Faith he was describing

"The other day she came in telling me her parents wanted grandchildren"

"So now you're trying for children?" Mercy asked a smile in her voice

"I just told you, that wasn't happening for us right now" he huffed "She started clearing the spare room to make a nursery, I said let's do it lime green that's neutral isn't it?"

"Yeah"

"So the next day we go to buy the paint and stuff and she's in the shop telling me her parents want the room lemon and she just grabs the lemon paint, where the fuck am I in this?"

"So why didn't you tell her you were having the lime?"

"Because before I could get the fucking words out they were standing there, talking about baby clothes, cots and shit like I didn't figure"

"So she's pregnant then?"

"No"

"I don't get it, why is her family buying baby things and getting the room ready?"

"I'm guessing they think she is" he hissed "And don't say Sam, I'm not up for smiling right now"

"I was going to say sorry, I feel so responsible I talked you into this, but I truly thought she was the right person for you"

"She was before we got married, but the way things are now I'm guessing it was all an act"

"Seriously?"

"Seriously" he told her "Anyway enough about me, so you've finished with what's his face?"

"Yeah two years down the drain and it didn't even hurt"

"Because you didn't love him"

"Guess I didn't" she sighed "But I have news" she smiled as she spoke "I just made my mind up, they offered me a job at Aston University and I'm taking it so hopefully I'll start next year

"That's great news" he shrieked at her "At least you'll be at base and I can visit home a lot more, and I'll see you, it's been nearly three years since I saw you"

"I know but I thought that was best"

"We decide what's best for us together" he wolfed at her

"Yeah I'm sorry we do, so I'll see you this summer?"

"You will" he told her feeling happier than he did at the beginning of the conversation

Christmas came and Mercy was happy seeing her family and even happier when Sam and Faith turned up, she went up to Sam's parents house to see them and was met coldly; she thought by Faith, before Sam whisked her off to chat, rolling his eyes

"She's pissed because I forced her to be here, it's been two years since I spent Christmas with my damn family and now she's going to be sour for the whole damn time"

"Michelle, Michael and his new girl Diane and I are going to Broad St tonight, if you guys want to come, try to lighten the air between you?"

"I'll ask but my guess is she's not going to play ball"

"So take her back home"

"I want Christmas with my family"

"So send her home" Mercy said frustrated "She wasn't behaving like this when you guys were courting" she waved her hands about telling him "I noticed she cut her eye at me, I don't care what you guys are going through, I mean that loosely" she looked at him saying "But there's no need to drag outsiders into it, no matter how pissed I am I don't take it out on my friends"

"She's fine with her friends"

"So what I'm not her friend?"

"I think she's always known that you're my friend and she's worked with it because she knows she can't get in between that"

"Has she said that?"

"No but her actions tell me that's what she's always thought, I told you I think our courtship was total fake shit"

"Sam I know you and I'm telling you, you need to work at your marriage, there is no way out, we are never going to happen" she pointed between them saying "I stood and heard, saw you even, take those vows, I knew at that moment you'd work harder than this at it, stop finding all the negatives and remember the positives, everybody changes its called growing up"

"So now I'm being selfish, childish and even paranoid again" he turned to walk away from her saying, he was angry she'd told him off

"Sam" she called dragging him back "I didn't say that, it just feels like your trying to find a way out, and I won't let you fail"

"I'm unhappy Mercy..."

"Sam" they heard as Faith entered the kitchen "Your Mom's asking for juice, where can I find that?"

"In the fridge" Mercy told her looking at her for the strange question "So it's been a while Faith, did you get a job yet?" she asked as she watched her pouring the juice, and smiled at Sam's eyes widening for the conversation topic

"No, I'm not looking at the moment, Sam and I are trying for a baby"

"And that's stopping you from working?"

"No" Faith laughed "I don't want to start to stop again"

"I'm guessing that degree's a bit rusty now, how about you go do a Masters or something keep your brain ticking"

"I've had enough of the study thing" she told her picking the full glass of juice up and heading for the door "Coming?" she looked at Sam asking

"I need to be going, so I'll say bye" Mercy looked between them saying, Sam smiled at the pissed in her voice, as she followed Faith out to say bye to Sam's parents

That night Sam didn't get to join them clubbing on Broad St, and Christmas day Mercy called him up for their usual interaction, he sounded depressed and she felt for him, but she wasn't getting in the middle of that

 **29 Years Old – 1993**

That night out on Broad St had been productive for Mercy, she'd gone out with her siblings and hit it off with one of Diane's people, his name was Dermot and he was the DJ playing dancehall music at the Hummingbird club they'd ended up at, he was also in a band which travelled around Birmingham and sometimes other parts of the country for gigs. Dermot was just a few inches taller than Mercy with a reputable eight pack, arm muscles that rippled with every move he made, piercing blue eyes she knew Sam would hate and they clicked almost immediately

That first night she sat around waiting for him to finish and they sat in the local cafe that morning just talking about everything and anything, ending with the next date set and it sort of rolled from there, following their Christmas evening heavy make out session. She had till the end of the school year to finish so he'd spend time up in Leeds and when she could she'd come to Birmingham, he did most of the running if she was honest about it, but she like the way he ran. She'd attended at least two of his gigs and stood cheering like a groupie until he called her up on stage and introduced her as his girl making her feel one hundred feet tall "I love you" he told her as everyone clapped

"You love me?" she asked

"I have a fatal attraction to you"

"Fatal, am I in danger?" she asked smiling

"If you see us getting attached literally at the hips intimately then I guess I could call that fatal" he smiled into her neck, she loved that move

"You need to meet my best friend Sam and his wife Faith, before this gets any more complicated" she smiled "And he's against blue so if he looks at you strange it's because of your eyes" she laughed

"Sam" she called through the phone as she left Dermot, it was just a month into this new relationship of hers "I've met someone" she smiled as she told him "I'm not going to say he's the one but I feel something for him already, and he just told me he loves me"

"I need to meet him" he came back at her with

"That's fine, I'm in Birmingham next weekend" she looked at the phone telling him, she didn't really like his response but after the way he'd felt about Ricky she thought maybe it was his over protectiveness alert coming out again

"I'll be there" he told her cutting the call off shortly after that leaving Mercy wondering what was happening for him

He came to Birmingham that weekend sitting in their cafe with Faith smiling beside him as Mercy walked in with Dermot on her arm "Faith, Sam" she beamed as she saw them "This is Dermot" she looked at him telling them

Sam jumped up out of his chair "Dermot" he smiled falsely, he didn't know why but he wasn't expecting to see a white guy and Mercy hadn't even mentioned he was white and he didn't know why but that made a difference to him, he grabbed Dermot's hand and shook it vigorously finally looking at him instead of Mercy and gasping when he saw his blue eyes

Dermot smiled for the face he pulled at his eyes "Sam" he said the grin still on his face before he looked down at Faith still sitting "Faith" he said holding his hand out to greet her

"Dermot" she half smiled as Mercy stood wondering why the fuck she'd come if she really wasn't interested in meeting him

"Mercy" Sam grabbed hold of her and pulled her to him kissing her cheek "It's been a while"

"Nice to see you again" she took the kiss saying sitting down as she said "Hi" to Faith before cutting her eye for her to see

"Drinks" Sam stepped off saying "What can I get you?" he looked at Dermot asking

"I'll have a Latte" he smiled "I don't really drink anything else" he told him getting up "Do you need a hand?"

"You're fine they do trays" Sam told him as he watched him sit back down and snuggle up to Mercy a ping of jealousy flowing through him

"I'll come anyway" Dermot replied jumping back up for seeing an opportunity to speak to Sam alone

"So" Mercy looked across the table at Faith saying demanding attention "What's with the face?"

"I know you're going to take Sam's side anyway I don't want to talk about it" she looked at her saying

"I'm actually on the side of your marriage, I happen to think you guys are made for each other" she looked back at her saying

"He's changed" she pulled up in her chair telling Mercy "he used to be fun, happy all the time and then we had sex" she looked at her waiting for a response but didn't get one "And that first time he wasn't with me, every time we go there I know his mind is somewhere else" she looked over at Sam telling Mercy "I lied too I admit that, I made him believe I was a virgin when I wasn't"

"What?" Mercy looked at her unable to believe what she was hearing

"I think maybe he felt that our first time and well, he's changed"

"I guess something like that would want to make me change my perception of someone too, but he hasn't mentioned that to me"

"I don't know what it is but.. well I do" she stopped to look at Mercy "Can I trust you?"

"Of course"

"You won't tell Sam?"

"I can't promise that he's my best friend"

"I thought I was his best friend" she snapped at Mercy

"You are, but he's my best friend"

"What are you two whispering about?" Dermot came back to the table asking

The conversation was stiff after that so much so they didn't bother to get food, Mercy sat looking at Faith wondering what the hell she had to hide from Sam, while Sam sat looking at Dermot who he now considered competition for the affections of his best friend, they reached a silence in the conversation as Sam and Mercy looked at each other awkwardly and Mercy made her excuses kissed her friend and left with Dermot turning to see Sam cut his eye at Faith and what seemed like the brewing of an argument.

"That didn't go well" Dermot said as they walked to the car

"It wasn't Sam I had an unsettling conversation with Faith and we didn't get to finish it, I think she was going to tell me something" she told him as he opened the door for her to get in the car

"They can sort it out between themselves, leave them to it" Dermot advised before shutting the door and walking round to his driving seat

You're so..." she looked at him as he buckled up in the car "I love you" she told him as he stopped to look at her

"Finally" he smiled moving towards her for a kiss "Thank you I guess, this thing between us is going to move fast now we have that out the way"

The next few weeks went quickly as Dermot looked at getting work near Birmingham and eventually found a Music college that he applied to, teaching the piano to some 6th form students "I got it" he jumped about telling Mercy as he came off the phone "I got the damn job, this is us babe" he picked her up saying "Marry me?" he put her on the floor in front of him saying

"What?"

"Marry me?" he asked again

"Yes" she smiled as they stood in the middle of her classroom kissing

"We can do it in the holidays before we start our new jobs"

"Okay" she gasped at the fact that she was going to be Mrs Reid by the end of the year "I got to tell Sam and Faith" she took her phone out saying as he smiled at her happy "Sam" she shouted as he answered the phone "I'm getting married"

"Married?" he asked shocked "Are you sure about this you've known him for like a minute?"

"I'm sure and I'm happy" she replied

"You know I have a thing about blue" he laughed "But if he makes you happy I'm happy"

"I guess I'm going to break the news to the family this weekend" she rolled her eyes telling him "They'll be pleased I think Michael's asking Diane some time soon too"

"Double wedding"

"God it all seems so real now you know" she held her chest telling him "I'm so happy Sam" her last word breaking as a tear came

"I can hear that" he giggled

"Is everything alright with you?"

"Fine, we've finally decided to try for a baby, paper over cracks if your asking me, I don't know what I think but I'm trying like you asked"

"A baby" Mercy cooed not sure how she felt about another Sam being around that she wasn't a part of

"You can't fool me you don't like the thought either do you?"

"I... " she made to lie to him and thought better of it "I'm a bit jealous" she admitted

"Here starts life" he whined at her

"It does and you know I still love you the best"

"Always, always" he told her not too convinced they talked more before the call ended

Mercy and Dermot turned up at her parent's house for the second time since she'd known him, "We came for a reason" they looked around the usual Saturday soup table telling most of her family "Dermot asked me to marry him last week and I said yes" she told them looking mainly at her Dad for his reaction

"I don't think you guys have known each other long enough" he told her, she wasn't surprised, she'd expected that

"But the feelings are there Dad"

"Must be the season for it, you're not pregnant are you?" her Mom laughed

"No" she looked at Dermot telling them "We just want to get married, soon"

"How soon?" her Mom got up hugging her as she asked

"This summer" Dermot told them "Before we start our new jobs maybe find a house and everything before the big day and have a honeymoon before we start work late September" he looked from one parent to the other telling them

"You have a plan?" her Dad asked "Well all plans usually start with a visit to speak to God" he smiled

"What?" Dermot asked, looking at Mercy, her Dad had mentioned God the last time he'd visited and he'd asked Mercy to tell them he didn't believe in that stuff, he could tell by the conversation and her face that she hadn't mentioned it "I don't actually believe in all that" he looked back at her Dad saying "I don't intend on getting married in a church either, having some false prophet saying stuff over us like it means anything" he spat out forgetting himself until he felt Mercy's hand on his arm "Sorry" he looked up at her saying

"Actually we haven't agreed anything about that yet" she told him as she looked at her parents shocked faces

"No we haven't" he smiled looking back at them

"Your brother and Diane told us yesterday she was pregnant so they're getting married in the summer before the baby comes" her Mom told then

"Double wedding?" she asked looking at her parents

"It might be"

"Michael's never shared anything with me so this will be a first" Mercy laughed "If you guys can pull it off"

"There's a baby coming, something will be pulled and I'll be doing all the pulling" her Dad warned

They had dinner, Mercy did some talking and the following day Dermot attended church with the family, he didn't engage but he knew the importance to the family and Mercy was a part of that. Sunday evening while her family went back to church Mercy and Dermot took a trip round her old haunts, made supper and sat cuddled up until they heard the key turn in the door and they sat up looking at the telly with all the usual pleasantries until it was time for bed, he went to the hotel they'd booked and Mercy stayed home.

Her phone rang just as she made to get into bed, she rolled her eyes when she saw Sam's name come up, it could only be drama "Hi" he said down the phone

"Hi Sam" she replied tired

"Sorry were you asleep?"

"No I was just climbing into bed"

"I'll call back tomorrow"

"No you're on now what's up?" she asked sincerely

"I just wanted to know how things went for you guys with the family"

"Oh" she smiled "Good I think, they were kind of put off with him announcing her didn't do the church thing but I persuaded him and he went this morning" she laughed "And it might just be a double wedding, Diane's pregnant"

"Pregnant" he gasped "What did your Dad say?"

"You know I didn't even ask him, I thought they'd say but they didn't so I left it, I reckon when I see them again I'll get the full story"

"I guess"

"What's wrong?" Mercy asked rolling her eyes

"Nothing, I'll let you get to sleep, goodnight" he said putting the phone down before she could say anything in reply, something was wrong, and whatever that might be, kept her awake all night _'Maybe it's the fact that I'm talking marriage while he's thinking divorce, he said he was jealous too maybe that's it, I'm praying he's gotten over me by now because well, just because'_ she pulled the covers over her head and tried again but it was no use something was wrong for her best friend

She got up the next morning and checked the train times, she needed to visit Sam to find out what was up, she smiled as Dermot walked into the living room "Morning" he smiled "You don't look like you got any sleep" he kissed her lips concerned at how tired she looked "What's up?"

"Faith and Sam I think, I've been so worried about them, I'm going to head down there for the day and get the train back up to Leeds so, I'll see you when you come up on Tuesday" she told him

"We came here together, we just announced our engagement and you're running off to see Sam and Faith?" he asked

"It's what being best friends is all about, and I don't appreciate you trying to tell me when to see of not see my friends"

"I wasn't telling you not to see your friend I was asking if you thought this was the right time, why are you so touchy?"

"There's just one thing that's always going to be out of bounds between us Dermot, and that's my friendship with Sam"

"Surely your supposed to be trying to make me your best friend"

"I can be your best friend, but he'll always be mine" she jumped up telling him "Are we done here?"

"Yeah" he held his hands up seeing there was no point in arguing it "We're done here" he said watching her make for the stairs, he sat holding his head in his hands wondering why those two were so tight

"I wouldn't worry about it" her Mom came into the room telling him obviously she'd heard the conversation "Those two have been as tight as that since their very first day at school, they've never let anyone in, even us, it's hard to just turn your back on a lifetime, they made each other who they are today, if anything was going to happen for them it would have happened years ago, they've had opportunity" she told him "So don't waste your time hating him you'll lose"

"I'll lose, she's said yes to marrying me" he looked up at her Mom telling her

"Yes she did, but you will lose" she warned him

Minutes later Mercy was down with her luggage ready for her journey "Will you take me to New Street?" she looked up at him asking as if they hadn't just had words

"Sure" he grabbed the case saying as they bid her parents goodbye and left for their alternative destinations

"I love you" she looked at him saying before she got out the car, he got out and ran round to her

"I love you too, see you on Tuesday" he kissed her lips telling her

"Bye" she went in for another kiss telling him before she walked away, Sam heavy on her mind

 **Oxford**

She knocked their apartment door knowing Faith would be there, she'd done nothing in the name of work except those few weeks at the library, since leaving University all that wasted money and time, she lived like a leech off Sam, and for that she got on Mercy's last nerve, they weren't broke or anything her parents had a lot to do with what they had financially, so basically Sam paid the bills and lived at their beck and call for the damn privilege of living in a home he really didn't want "Hi" she smiled as Faith opened the door

"Mercedes Sam didn't say you were coming, he's out jogging"

"I didn't tell him, I just woke up thinking about you guys and made the journey"

"That's nice can I get you something to drink?"

"Yeah anything cold" she told her as she watched her walk through the lounge checking the place as she went to the kitchen

"Ice?" she turned to look at something she must have forgotten on her way through

"Please, everything alright?" Mercy asked following her to the kitchen after she dropped her bag at the front door, checking the place for whatever it was Faith might have been trying to hide and found nothing "It's a flying visit I have to be back at work tomorrow"

"He won't be much longer" she came through quickly with a canned drink and a glass with a few ices in "Let's sit, catch up"

"Yeah last we spoke you were like pissed because of something but we didn't finish our conversation" she sat on the couch reminding her

"Oh that was nothing Sam was in a funny mood, he'd been in a funny mood since you'd announced your pending wedding and I was just pissed at his jealousy I guess"

"Are you sure that was all it was?" she asked smiling "I take no notice of him, whoever I choose is never going to be good enough, he thinks I'm the little sister and I'm three hours older than him" she laughed "He obviously dealt with it"

"Well he seems happier now"

"So what's changed for you guys?"

"Oh we've made plans to have a baby, that's sort of brought some excitement back in the bedroom and of course I'm all into times and stuff"

"That's great" Mercy told her pretending she hadn't heard any of this already "So how long have you guys been trying for this new addition?"

"Well if you ask Sam he'd say about two months nearly but I've never been on any contraceptives, so I guess nearing four years" she smiled

"Wow" Mercy said alarm bells going off at the whole situation, she was getting a different picture to what Faith was painting, Sam wasn't happy, but she was making out like he was, why? "Four years?"

"Shhe" Faith said as they heard the key turn in the door "Don't say anything" she told her as she got up "Babe" she walked towards him saying as Sam looked at her suspiciously

"Faith please" he held his hand up in front of his chest saying "I'm tired, sweating and fucking hungry and I can't smell cooking there's no energy for your shit" he stepped past her and saw Mercy sitting on the couch "Mercy" he gasped a smile on his face as he went forward and kissed her "I'll be back in a bit" he waved wondering off to their bedroom

"What was that about?" Mercy turned to Faith asking

"Nothing he comes in grumpy sometimes, I just wait it out" she smiled "We're going to my Mom's for dinner today"

"I'm not going to your Mom's for dinner, you go, I'll take Mercy out" Sam walked into the room telling her

"We can all..."

"No you made your damn plans stick to them"

"But I waited all this time for you to get back"

"I thought you'd have just gone without me, I don't want to go to your fucking parents house Faith"

"Sam" Mercy shouted standing up "That's totally unacceptable, apologise" she looked at him hard telling him

"I'm sorry for swearing" he told Faith "Go without me"

"Go get dressed" Mercy ordered him she was mad with the two of them, it was clear Faith was lying about everything being alright and Sam seemed to be on his last nerve with this situation he'd found himself in. she looked at Faith standing there with tears in her eyes like the weight of the world was on her shoulders "What the hell is going on?"

"He's just ….. difficult to live with" she blurted out "I'll see you later maybe" she told her walking out the house and leaving Mercy standing looking at the slammed door

"Lets get out of here" Sam came out of his room grabbed her hand and walked towards the door saying, he didn't speak again until they were sitting in Frankie and Benny's waiting to be served, they made their order and sat looking at each other, Mercy trying to make out who the hell this man sitting in front of her was

"Sam what's happening for you" she grabbed his hand asking

"Why are you here?" he looked up asking her

"I spoke to you last night and after that I couldn't sleep, something was wrong and I felt that you needed me" she told him as she watched that hand of his go up behind his head grabbing the hair at the back of his neck, he was ready to talk

"Faith's having difficulty conceiving she was being a super bitch about it for a while, putting me down a lot in front of her friends and family and stuff, I wanted to hit her she made me feel so small and inadequate, we were having sex on a fucking timer, that thing would go off and she'd expect me to be ready to perform, that shit was difficult for me on a regular, I don't find her attractive in that way any more" he finally looked up at Mercy saying, smiling as she gripped his hand tighter

"I don't know what to say" she told him

"That's fine" he smiled

"Why didn't you tell me any of this while it was happening?"

"At first I thought it was my fault, I took the shame and tried to try, but then when I got good and mad I took the test, mine came back fine it was her that was the problem and after that I really didn't feel that was my information to share"

"And what, now your at the point where this stuff could actually break your marriage up, you finally decide to tell me, under duress I might add?" she smiled

"I think her Mom knows the truth about all this but nobody else, I'm under such pressure with all these tests, treatments and stuff it's costing a bomb" he looked at her embarrassed "And she won't get up of her damn ass and find work to even help out, she just lives in cloud cuckoo land pretending everything is fine or my fault, telling me there's no point in starting work to stop again when she gets pregnant, so I'm constantly being gibed by everyone"

"I'm sorry" Mercy grabbed his hand tighter telling him "I made you do all this"

"And the worst of it all is I just don't think I love her any more, she's turned into the most horrid person, you wouldn't even believe"

"Sam" she said watching his face break into a smile, making her roll her eyes for bringing that up for him at this point in his life "If marriage was easy it wouldn't need blessing by God in a church" she pulled his hand to her telling him "I'm afraid you'll have to man up, support your wife and try your damnedest to produce an heir" she laughed "Whoever heard of a man moaning because they had to fuck their wife"

"You" he laughed "This could be you in five years time to me, do you really want to get into a relationship like this?"

"You like Dermot don't you?" she looked at the hate wash over his eyes as she spoke

He stopped laughing and looked into her eyes "I hate him" he told her sending a chill through her as she watched his eyes go deep green "Because he has you, my first love, because I was just too fucking stupid to do anything about my feelings when I had the damn chance" he grabbed her hands saying "Remember Ronnie?" he asked

"Yeah who could forget" she smiled trying to lighten the conversation

"He told me you were with Victor in maybe 3rd year, showed me pictures of you guys together at the disco and everything and even though I knew you, I believed it and distanced myself, I came to watch that netball match, I watched you all the way through it"

"Where were you?"

"Up in one of the classrooms, standing in the dark watching your every move, it was hard not to go talk to you but Victor was there and I didn't want the hassle" he smiled "By the time I found out it was all a lie we were at the school end disco and as I worked it out you were gone, with that other guy..."

"Paddy" she smiled "He was only a friend"

"I know that now, and he's gay but then... I knew nothing" he laughed "What are we like?" he looked into her eyes asking "We let our destiny pass us by because of other people"

"This thing with Faith will work itself out"

"Do you think?"

"I hope so, I need you to be happy Sam" she told him as their dinners arrived

"So what's happening with you" he lifted his fork asking

"Nightmare" she giggled "As I said Michael and Diane are getting hitched too so I'm guessing with Dad's comments he's expecting to do it as a joint thing"

"How do you feel about sharing the limelight on your big day?"

"I don't mind to be fair, but Dermot seems to have turned into a yes man as far as Dad's concerned, he didn't even try to object to any of it"

"Come on what do you expect, you'd have to be a damn fool to go against your future bride's father at a time like that, once your his then to hell with him but before that, no way, he's doing the man thing believe me" he laughed "He's going to say yes all the way to the alter, if he has any sense, then things will change once he becomes the king of that particular castle" he pointed at Mercy telling her

"Change?"

"Yeah, man of the house and all that" he threw food in his mouth telling her

"I really don't need anyone to change who I am, or what I do" she looked at him seriously telling him

"I didn't mean it like that, Dermot's a nice guy"

"He is?" she looked at him questioningly "You hated him a few minutes ago" she stared at him reminding him of his conversation a short while ago

"I still hate him, but he's cool" he smiled

"Nobody's ever going to be good enough for you are they Sam?"

"You're too good for anybody" he looked into her eyes telling her "Even me"

"Sam" she cooed

"I just love that sound" he held his heart telling her

"You still know how to make me laugh" she giggled as they sat chatting old days until their meal ended, and it was time for her to go back to Leeds "Be nice to Faith, she loves you" she looked up at him telling him as they stood waiting for her train to start loading

"And I love you the most"

"I've known that since Junior school, and for me that doesn't go away" she reached up and kissed his nose telling him, she felt him pull her back up to him and saw his eyes focusing on her lips "No Sam" she pulled away telling him "You're married and I'm with Dermot, soon to be his wife" she snapped as he let her go and held his hands up at her sass "Just checking your ass" she laughed

"I miss my best friend" he told her his face sad

"Hey, I'm here now at the smell of trouble in paradise"

"Thanks"

"Don't thank me it's my duty, just be ready for chief duties in three months time, it's going to be off the chart" she laughed "I need you to seriously diss Michael I want lots of hopeless big brother jokes and you can talk about clingy little sisters too if you want for a bit, but I don't want her crying" they laughed as she spoke

"Michael will wet my ass, no sibling jokes and nothing about us, it'll be a nice short speech" he told her as her platform details came up and they were waving goodbye and seconds later she was gone. Mercy sitting on the train worried about her friend, he was hurting, she could see that, Sam stood wondering why the hell he'd actually let her out of his arms without kissing her

Weeks later Faith was on the phone stressing her out "What the hell are you telling me" Mercy asked stamping about "Don't chat rubbish you guys need to fix the fuck up and get yourselves here now" she threw the phone down before she could reply, It was a week before her wedding and Sam and Faith were bringing their shit, Sam had called Mercy several times telling her Faith wasn't coming and as soon as she rearranged seating Faith would call and say she was coming

Now she was on the phone telling her she couldn't live with Sam any more, he wasn't talking to her, they weren't sleeping in the same room any more, they hadn't spoken for weeks and sex was a no go because she felt he didn't want children. These conversations were getting tired, there were times when Mercy could barely understand what Faith was saying she was so incoherent. Sam called a few times almost in tears and really she was on the brink of telling him to throw the towel in but bit her tongue because she was so damn happy right now and she didn't want anything to spoil it

That witch had crossed a line with her best friend, Mercy couldn't find the time for sympathy with her, she picked the phone up to call Sam, he'd called her actually crying one night, Faith had called him home from work saying she had some good news and he thought all that money spending was finally over and she'd accepted that she couldn't have children, he'd walked in to find this blond sitting on their couch.

"Hello" the young girl had said smiling as he looked at her trying to figure out which of Faith's friends she was

"This is Cara she's able to be our surrogate" Faith announced as Sam's blood when to boiling, even more so when he realised she actually expected him to sleep with the girl to cut costs, he ranted told her to get out and cried down the phone to Mercy telling her he couldn't take any more. He'd made up his mind he didn't even want a baby with her any more, how for Faith, it seemed like a baby was more important than looking at the sham their marriage had become, he'd actually mentioned the word divorce in their last conversation and a silence had fell over them, there was nothing else to say, she wouldn't have stayed after that either

"Sam" she called as soon as he answered "You guys need to get shit together before next Saturday, this stress is doing my damn head in, tell her to stay or come it doesn't bother me, I've put you on the top table, I can't take her drama any more and she's a damn liar" she ranted "I know she's your wife Sam and I don't mean to disrespect but she's hurting you and that hurts me"

"That's fine, I'd prefer to be on the top table anyway" he told her he could barely fill with excitement for his best friends wedding, the amount of stress he was under

"Your coming on Thursday yes?"

"Yes, no Wednesday"

"You come now if that helps"

"Is Dermot there?"

"Yeah of course he is"

"It's Wednesday then, bye" he told her as she rolled her eyes at his mess

"Bye" she said closing the call, their situation made it really hard for Mercy right now to talk about how happy she was about her pending wedding, Dermot was on point, he was bringing the romance off the hook right now

 **The Hen & Stag Night **

Sam ended up going in the guys corner in the 404 Club, because Faith didn't actually know anyone except Mercy, so she ended up being in the girls corner and he really didn't want to see her. Mercy rolled her eyes till it was going out of fashion at Faith sitting on the couch staring across the club at Sam, not talking to anyone and crying into her one drink "Faith why don't you go talk to him?" she finally said watching as she got up without prompting to go see him, Sam flashed his hands around for a while and Faith ended up sitting on the couch in the guys corner.

Sam finally got into fuck it mode and went over to speak to Mercy, he was her chief anyway so really he should have been with his girl, they got into talking about his stag night and all the memories that held for him, as he downed beer while the conversation got interesting

Faith only knew Dermot out of the crowd of guys, he smiled while sitting next to her "What's up with you?" he asked, he was maybe a bit jealous of Sam and Mercy paying no attention to the party, sat in their little bubble chatting

"I'm fine" she smiled picking up her drink

"What's the deal with those two?" he asked her looking over at Sam and Mercy wrapped up, he'd never been alright about it but he'd heard her Mother's words and figured he'd live with it until they were married, then he'd expect to come first "Sam and Mercedes"

"Childhood friends" Faith looked up for a second before answering him "He talks to her about everything, and I gues she does the same"

"Have you ever thought maybe they're..."

"Before we were married, long before we were married maybe but no that's never happened for them, Sam was a virgin when we got married"

"He was?" Dermot asked surprised

"Yeah he was, he thought I was too but I lied about that and I guess he found out somehow and well..., life's never been the same, I reckon he hates me now"

"He couldn't hate you, you're beautiful" he smiled at her

"You think I'm beautiful?" she asked smiling at him as their faces got close

"Really beautiful" he leaned in and kissed her saying "Sorry" he finally pulled away telling her "I didn't …. maybe I did, you're attractive"

"Thank you" she smiled pecking his lips again before looking around to see who was watching lucky for them, everyone was doing their own thing "Should we go somewhere?" she looked into his eyes asking

"I'd love to go somewhere, I mean that, but this is my party" he cocked his brow at her "And I'm supposed to be getting married to that woman over there in less than three days" he pointed over at Mercy still in conversation with Sam

"I could make you forget about them" Faith pecked his lips again her eyes suggesting they find somewhere to take things further

"I don't think I want to forget about her forever" he smiled back, looking back to see where Mercy was, they sat having this very suggestive conversation for a while until Michael came and broke it up telling Faith to go sit back with the girls

"Even your damn husband is over there" he told her, used to seeing Sam and Mercy wrapped up in conversation "That just looked nasty" he looked at Dermot saying not impressed

Dermot would have liked to have said she left his mind when she left the couch, but that really wasn't the case and he couldn't understand that, he was going to get stake at home what the hell was he doing feeling this way about chicken.

 **The Wedding Day**

Mercy was up with the birds, making sure things ran smoothly from the back ranks, Diane was nearing five months pregnant and trying to keep things low key while Mercy was doing the absolute opposite, she wanted big and bold, her family, school friends, cousins, not cousins, people from her University, work and of course Sam's family. The church and the hall was dressed in purple, black and Ivory with bridesmaids in purple, page boys with Ivory suits and purple ties and Sam in a black suit with purple tie and ivory shirt along with the Fathers, everything was ready for the off. Mercy's stylist came in to do their hair and nails, Diane sat indulging but thinking it all too much

"Mercy its Dermot" her Mom came in holding the phone up "You're not talking to him" she told her clipping the call off as Mercy smiled

The house was total madness, with flowers arriving, shoes coming at the last minute, cake delivery people checking on delivery addresses, champaign sipping and music blasting trying to dull out the chaos that was going on throughout the house so Mercy wouldn't panic too much

"All this for a thirty minute service" Diane sat with her hand up in the air waiting for the polish to dry saying

"It's for a lifetime Diane, this day's just the beginning" Mercy told her

"I get that but all this expense"

"To remember it all I guess" she smiled "But then it could just as well be the shittiest day and you'd still remember it for what it was wouldn't you?"

"That's what I'm saying" Diane looked at her saying

"You look beautiful" Mercy smiled at her saying "I know he's my brother and everything but he's really blessed to have you" she hugged her saying

"And Dermot you, my new sister"

"It's Dermot again" she looked at her phone telling Diane "I can't answer it Mom would kill me" she laughed as they sat waiting for it to stop "Right dresses on" she jumped up telling Diane as they prepared to dress "Sam" she shouted through the house as she stood in all her glory in her bedroom

"Can I?" Sam asked her Dad before mounting the stairs

"Go on" her Mom told him, he smiled as he rushed up the stairs with his present in his hand, thinking the only man that was ever not to be trusted up these stairs was him

"Wow" he smiled as he pushed the bedroom door to see Mercy standing with her wedding dress on hugging every curve from chest to knee before it let loose of her body and swept the floor, the sleeveless number matching the pearls she had sown into her hair, make up flawless "You look beautiful, I'm so jealous" he smiled at her

"Thank you I think" she smiled she couldn't help cry at the sight of him his love was pure as she looked in his eyes "I love you so much Evans" she walked towards him telling him

"My god I love you double double straight back" he grabbed her telling her "I missed out on this" he looked at her shaking his head "That man better be praising god every fucking day of his damn life, I swear" he looked down at her saying his eyes misted with tears

"Sam" she smiled

"You need to stop saying that now, your going to be someone's Mrs" he held his heart telling her

"Never" she giggled

"I have a present" he smiled taking the paper bag out of the plastic bag "It's a cheat really it's from that dreaded year 1978 when I thought you were with Victor, I listened to it nearly every day, I'd brought it for you the day of the disco and my Dad's car broke down so I didn't get there"

"Sam" she smiled again hugging him "You kept it all this time?"

"I just think it's going to sort of be the last time I can even think this, so here you go happy wedding day"

"Thank you" she took it out it's cover laughing as she read the label **'Girlfriend' by Michael Jackson** "From today you'll be my only boyfriend I swear it" she kissed his cheek telling him "You know the drill" she gave him back the record saying as he stood smiling

"You guys ready?" her Dad shouted up the stairs

"Coming" Sam shouted back as they made their decent, getting more wow's as they went through the house, Diane in front with her maternity wedding dress waddling already

They got outside the church as Sam let her go kissed her forehead "Here starts life" he told her as he pulled away

"And I still love you the most" she called after him

"Always always" he turned to tell her, he was more than crying, as he walked off into the church to go organise the children of the wedding party

"Mercy" Dermot seemed to come from nowhere calling

"Dermot it's bad luck to see the..." she tapered off at the look on his face "What's wrong?"

"I've been calling you all morning" he grabbed her hand and walked off into the church yard fast as her Father, Diane and Diane's Father stood watching

"This is irregular" her Dad noted as they stood waiting

"Mercy" Dermot said wiping tears from his face as he spoke, her stomach turned for what was coming next "There's no easy way to say this" he looked at her saying "I thought I was but I'm not ready to get married"

"What you don't love me?"

"God yes, I do with everything I am"

"So what are you saying?"

"I'm not ready, I'm ashamed to say it but I kissed Faith the other night and I wanted to do more, so did she, and it was you being there that stopped me, but that let me know I'm not ready for this"

"Faith?" she looked around in disbelief at what he was saying "You cheated on me with her?" she laughed hysterically at the irony of the whole damn thing, before she looked up at him and delivered a slap that could be heard for miles, and walked away from him back to her Dad "he cheated on me" she cried into her Dad's arms telling him as Diane and her Dad walked away to give them some privacy

Diane went in to start her wedding as Sam stood waiting for Dermot to turn up "Where's Dermot?" he asked Diane as she walked past him

"I don't know but Mercedes is out there crying" she told him as Sam left everything and went to her

"Mercy" he ran across the yard to grab her from her Dad, he didn't care just then she was hurting and he needed to stop that, she looked up at him for a second before her head buried itself in his chest and she cried out loud for the hurt she was feeling as he clung to her, eventually he got her moving and took her back home. They sat at the kitchen table as he made her sweet tea and wiped her face as tears came out, while she sat trying to control them

"I'm sorry" he looked at her saying "I feel so helpless"

"You're here and that's all I need right now" she grabbed his hand telling him

"Where did he go?" he asked, his eyes that dangerous green Mercy had gotten used to over the years

"Honestly I don't know and I don't care, I just need him as far away from me as possible"

"What did he do?" Sam asked looking sheepish for having asked the question

"He cheated on me with some bitch, and then chose our wedding day to come clean"

"I'm sorry Mercy"

"It's fucking karma isn't it, we did it to Faith so I guess I shouldn't be fucked up about this shit coming back at me"

"Don't think like that" Sam told her

"How else is there to think?" she asked, her voice angry as Sam sat looking at her, he knew she was hurting right now so he left it, she didn't need irritating just now "We both got these shitty lives because of what we did" he disagreed with that but he wasn't about to tell her that "What am I going to do now?" she looked at him asking as he watched her face break again "We've got this house together, he got a job in Birmingham so we could be close, I'm just going to be seeing his fucking face all over the place"

"You can sort the house out via solicitor, he's not at your University there's no reason for you to see him"

"Knowing my luck" she rolled her eyes telling him "I'm going on the honeymoon I need the time" she got up telling him

"Do you need me to come with you?"

"The talk that would create no" she giggled "I'm packed already, will you take me to the airport"

"Of course" he stood up grabbing her hand as he grabbed her case with his free hand and they left, he waited for a long while with her until her fight was called, waved her off and went back to the reception for her brother and Diane

"Sam" Faith walked up to him saying "Where have you been?" she asked looking worse the ware for how much alcohol she seemed to have consumed

"To the toilet" he told her, he really didn't have the time for her shit right now, he rolled his eyes walking away to go find the bride and groom


	5. Chapter 5

**CHAPTER 5**

 **30 Years Old – 1993**

Sam's head was all over the place, sometimes it felt like it was busting open, his best friend was going through some shit and he felt helpless, communication wasn't good between them and he felt that was something to do with him still being with Faith. He knew Mercy would always root for their relationship to be in a good place but seriously he couldn't see that happening.

Faith was going through some sort of depression according to the latest diagnosis, he could have told them that some four years ago but no one was actually listening to him back then either. She was on all kinds of medication to make her sleep, wake up, calm down or hype herself up and to be honest he really didn't know or care which pill she was taking at any time of the damn day.

Just before Mercy's wedding he noticed that she stopped taking the pills regularly and started talking gibberish, his life was pretty much the same he couldn't stop work they needed to live, so Faith had maybe ten hours a day to do what the fuck she wanted and she did just that, she was removing money from the account but no food was in the house, no new clothes were coming in nothing

"Faith" Sam asked one day just over three weeks after the wedding when he went to buy a ticket to go home to see his parents and Mercy and there wasn't sufficient funds in the account "What's happened to our money?"

"Why are you asking me?" she just about lifted her head up off the bed to ask

"What you haven't taken any out?" he asked alarm bells going off for his account being robbed, he got on the phone straight away and contacted the bank to get an investigation going, just four hours later he got a call telling him Faith's card had been used to withdraw thousands, he was looking at bouncing direct debits with no money to pay any bills. He called his Dad and got a healthy sub for the month, which went down again in no time, on checking, Faith's card had been used again.

"She must be buying something" he walked around the house checking for something new he didn't find anything, the next day he came in from work early, she hadn't expected him and was fast asleep on the couch. He walked around the house looking for something, anything shocked when he found silver foil and used needles in the guest bathroom sink "Faith" he shook her as she lay on the couch saying "Faith" he pushed her harder as she stirred "Faith" he shouted mad as hell "What the fuck is this, what's going on?" he held up the used needle asking her "Faith what the fuck is this" he asked again roughly shaking her up as he spoke

"Give me my shit" she made a snatch for the needle in his hand "The doctor said I need …." she ran out of breath before she finished her sentence "Give it" she shouted frustrated

"Faith" he called, shaking her a few times until she was sitting up listening to him "Faith" he called again tears in his eyes as he spoke "We've been through a lot and I know this baby thing has knocked us, I mean really knocked us, but if you carry on using this stuff I'm going to walk, are you hearing me?" he shook her asking

"Yes" she snapped "I hear you"

"This would be the very last straw for me, all our money's gone on this shit" he held it up showing her, talking as calmly as he could

"Knocked us?" she laughed sarcastically "What the hell have you lost?" she asked venom in her voice "I asked you to do this one thing for me, just one thing, all I wanted was a baby and you couldn't even do that, what sort of a fucking man are you?"

"I..." he looked at her, shocked that she was still of a mind that it was him that had the problem

"You couldn't even do that for me, for your wife" she shouted at him "I bet you'd have done it for Mercedes, pure as snow, left at the fucking alter Mercedes" she screamed at the top of her lungs, almost hysterical

"I drew a line Faith, I'm not sleeping with other people not while we're married, and definitely not for us to have a damn baby" he shouted back at her

"A baby Sam, that's all I want, why won't you give me a baby?"

"Faith" he looked at her and all he could see was hate for her "Honestly I don't want a baby with you and now I know why, you're not fit to carry a child let alone look after one, how could you do this to your body and ache for something you'd have to love more than your own life to come out of it?"

"You don't know anything about love" she hissed at him "Your not even that good a lay"

"How would you know what I was or wasn't?" he laughed

"Because I wasn't a virgin, I lied, I've had better, much better, you're boring in bed"

"Thanks" he smirked

"You don't believe me?" she looked up at him smiling "Andrew, Matthew, Kyle, Roger all ex boyfriends Sam not cousins and family friends"

And you wonder why you can't get pregnant?" he hissed at her, he could tell he'd hurt her in saying that but she shouldn't dish it if she can't eat it herself, those guy had become his friends

"Isn't this the part where you tell me that bitch isn't really your friend?"

"Which bitch?" he asked his face blank

"Mercedes of course" she looked at him waiting for a reaction

"She's my best friend" he told her sitting down as he realised his whole life with her was a lie "So your parents knew about these boyfriends?"

"Everybody in Oxford I guess, knew about my boyfriends" she chuckled at him "You're the town fucking joke Samuel Evans"

He wanted to open his mouth but all he could think right now was Mercy and she wasn't around for him right now, with everything she had going on he'd stopped bringing his shit with Faith to her she was probably tired of hearing it anyway. Her closing comment was always 'you guys will sort something out' and he really didn't want anything sorted with Faith not now anyway after this latest revelation, he was living with a fucking druggie that had used every penny he had, savings included, he was broke

Mercy had phoned him about a week after returning from her honeymoon holiday and told him about this Chemist guy she was seeing it was strictly on a social level but she reckoned that was what she needed right now someone to take her away from all the stress. That was about as much as he knew about the guy, whatever Dermot had broken she wasn't ready for anyone to fix just now and she was making sure no one got close enough to even try

She'd said she needed happy thoughts and right now he could do with some of that happy because the shit he'd just heard was rocking his fucking head, his life was fake. He'd spent so much of his damn life being jealous of men that had walked in and out of Mercy's life, only to sit there now feeling like it was more him that needed her than the other way round like he'd always thought "You always want what you can't have" he tapped his head telling himself as he felt his head lifting he held onto the back of the couch looking around as he realised Faith was still talking but he couldn't hear her, he panicked for a second until he heard his inner self talking

" _Is this what it feels like?"_ he asked himself as everything seemed to stop except the voice in his head _"The moment between sanity and madness, reality and dream state, right and wrong, life and death"_ he looked back at Faith as he felt short explosions going on in his head "Stop" he shouted frightened trying to pull himself back "Stop" he demanded opening the front door and walked out, this was not going to send him to the edge. He went to the bank drew all he could and went to a Travel Lodge hotel, where he sat for nearing two days before he ate even food

"Mercy" he laughed down the phone when she answered "They're showing the life of the Jackson's on BBC 1 tonight, we should watch, try and grab some memories back"

"I've got marking to do tonight Sam, I haven't actually watched telly for the longest time"

"Please Mercy just for me, let's do something together we haven't in a while, I need to think about when life was simple for us" his voice begging

"Okay" she laughed at his poor excuse for a beg "Is everything alright?"

"Trust me you don't want to hear it"

"I always want to hear if somethings wrong Sam, I love you the most remember?"

"I remember" her saying that made him smile "I've been in a bad place for a few days, I thought I was going mad"

"What happened?" she gasped

"I caught Faith using A class drugs in the house the other day and shit came out you know, my whole life with her has been a lie, those guys her and her parents told me were her cousins were ex-boyfriends, she cleaned me out with her habit, I had to beg my parents for money to pay the bills this month and apparently I'm crap in bed" he giggled

"Oh my god Sam" Mercy sat holding her chest listening to her best friend

"I gave her an ultimatum, she kicks the habit or I leave and walked out, I've been held up in a hotel for a few days, and this time I've cleaned the account out" he told her "And I know what your going to say even after all this you're going to ask me to try to mend this pile of crap that I just don't need in my life any more"

"Sam I..."

"Mercy" he sighed "I love you with everything I am, honest I do, but I've been sitting here wondering what the toxic is in my life, my head nearly exploded, you might not understand this but I sat in a place between insanity and reality for well over 24 hours, trying to stop my head from imploding, I can't think of a life without you in it but if you ask me to go back, I'm not going to do as you ask and I don't know, in fact I'm scared for where that will take us"

"Sam I was going to say, that's unacceptable even I wouldn't stay around for that and I'm the desperate one"

"Desperate, how can you be desperate if there's always been someone in the background wanting ….?"

"Stop it Sam, you're still a married man, crap woman for a wife, but legal shit still stands"

"You just said you wouldn't stay so..."

"...Best case scenario, what if she thinks what you guys have is worth saving, stops using and decides to get help?" she giggled "Things might work themselves out"

"Why are you so hell bent on this life working out for me?"

"I don't want to think of you as someone who gives up at the first hurdle, that's not what we talked about being back then"

"I know but Mercy life happens and people don't always live up to what they say they are, I think that Faith played at who she thought I needed her to be for as long as she could, and this is the real horrible, ugly her" he told her "What was it your Mom always used to say, what's done in the dark..."

"... Always comes out in the light" Mercy laughed finishing it off for him "This sounds serious Sam, what are you going to do?"

"What you've not been letting me do all this time, I'm going to leave her, that's her house she can keep it, there are no children, thank god, no pets nothing, I'm trying for a clean break"

"I'm sorry Sam"

"What for?"

"Making you stay, I was wrong"

"You were right to make me try, at least now I'm sure about what I don't want, and the reason I don't want it. I guess there was a part of me that wanted to stay, but try as I might I can't find that bit of me right now, if I'm truthful it's been gone for a while"

"I'm sending you one of our special hugs, because I can't get to you right now, I don't want to right now actually, I know she'll think I'm the cause of all this "

"How so?"

"Come on Sam, I'm the best friend, we always get the blame" she laughed

"Get off the phone and turn the telly on, it's about to start" he laughed at her best friend take on things "I'll call soon and thanks for the ear" he blew her a kiss down the phone "Hey I love you the most"

"And I you" she hugged the phone telling him

Mercy couldn't wait for Sam to call she'd had a really good feeling after watching the start of the story of the Jackson's she had memories that she needed to share with him as the music played, she called him, they were miles apart but through the phone they were sitting next to each other reliving their good times all over again "Thank you" she finally smiled down the phone as they watched the credits go up "I really needed that"

"Me too" he smiled down the phone

"And Sam anything you need, anything just come to me first yeah?"

"I can't live off you" he laughed

"I'll be offended if you don't come to me first" her voice warning him

"Okay"

"And I know your minds set, I guess mine is too, but please at least go back and see if she chose you"

"I will" he smiled before they shared love and closed the call down

Mercy sat thinking there was no other person in the world she got that feeling with, he was always there before everyone else with just the right remedy and she knew him, felt safe with him and she really did love him. Sam sat wondering when the last time was that Mercy and he had actually sat like that and had a conversation about them, that was all about them and it was a beautiful place, he loved her there was no doubt about that and he knew she loved him, but there was a blur on the level they took that to, but tonight felt like love, for the first time in a long while.

Sam waited a further three days before he finally went back to their apartment to find Faith had gone out, the house looked much like it did the last time he was in it. He grabbed a suitcase and started getting his things together, this wasn't just about the drugs, she'd lied to get him in the first place, she'd slept around maybe even while they'd been married and her damn parents were in on everything, he couldn't be a part of this family.

"Sam" he heard as he put the last few things in his case, she could throw everything else away if she wanted to he really didn't care "Sam" he heard again he just needed to cool down before he spoke, in the end he decided to just appear at the door with his case, she'd get the message "I thought you'd come home" she looked at him standing with his case next to him

"Home?" he laughed "This is supposed to be home?" he asked "Have you stopped using?"

"It really isn't that easy Sam, I will do it, you just need to give me some time"

"There's no time Faith, and I take it back about you being clean that's totally up to you what you want to do with your life, I really can't or is that I don't want to get past the lies you guys have told me, I'm yet to understand the reason why I loved you"

"Loved?" she asked as tears came

"Yes loved, I can't be a part of this family, there's no coming back from where you've took this, I have no fight left in me and honestly I don't see anything here to fight for, I want a divorce"

"But you asked me to stop using, I've said I'm going to try and now you've moved the goal post"

"You moved it when you told me about those other guys, your parents knowing everything"

"Okay I'll tell the whole truth now, and we can start again" she walked towards him saying

"The whole truth?" Sam asked watching her walk towards him, he couldn't believe there was more

"I started using drugs at school, when I was in my fourth year it was Roger that introduced me to it, he was my first and I really loved him you know" she grabbed hold of his t-shirt telling him "You know that feeling right?" she asked but Sam stood just looking at her, he really wasn't interested "I just sort of went from boy to boy looking for money to fund my habit until Mom and Dad found out" she took a breath and moved closer to him, her face level with his, he could feel her breath on him "They sent me to a clinic and I came back clean I guess"

"Clean" Sam laughed at the state of her now

"Yes I was clean until I met Matthew and he sort of became a problem because he wasn't scared of anything my Dad threw at him he had me as his like sex toy for a while, I guess you could call it that" she told him as he brushed her hands off him, looked at her with disgust and made for the door

"What the fuck have I been sleeping with?" he looked back at her asking

"You wanted the truth" she yelled at him "hear the truth" she snapped "I slept with Andrew and Kyle at the same time, my habit grew and I needed more funds, then when Mom and Dad said they were going to disown me I agreed to go to rehab again" she sat on the couch telling him "I came out with a new lease on life, I wanted to fall in love, get married and have a family, I promised Mom and Dad I'd do that and I went to Uni and met you, everything I'd wished for" she looked up at him smiling

"Then the baby thing" Sam confirmed

"I'd like to say it was the baby thing, I met up on Cousin Roger" she hyphened with her fingers as she said cousin "Again and the temptation was immense, I wanted so much to get our life on track I concentrated on our baby, but when I found out that wasn't possible for me I guess I turned back to my old friend"

"And your parents knew all this?"

"Of course" she looked at him saying

"Have you slept with anyone else since we've been married?"

"What do you want me to say Sam, I tried every avenue before I started dipping into our account, well your account"

"I want you to tell me the truth"

"Yes I have, several"

"Jesus" Sam looked up in the heavens saying this was the very last straw

"There's more" she looked at him saying

"I don't need any more" he told her turning to walk out the door

"I know why Mercedes and Dermot didn't work out" she shouted as his hand touched the handle "Don't you ever wonder why she stopped calling so often, why she detached herself from us like that when she got back?"

"Please don't tell me you had something to do with my best friend getting hurt like that?" he closed his eyes begging for her to say she didn't

"Dermot and I kissed and he obviously told her on their wedding day, we would have taken it further but it was their night and I guess he didn't have the guts"

"How could you do that to Mercy?" Sam asked his stag night flashing through his mind

"Don't tell me Mercedes and you have never thought about doing that to me?" she looked at him asking and he chose not to answer that question, it was still really none of her damn business "I guess that says everything" she cut her eye at him saying

"Okay" Sam looked at his case in his hand saying smiling as he looked at her "Papers will be in the post, I'd like to say nice knowing you but it really wasn't" he opened the door, put his key on the side table as she watched, stepped out and shut the door behind him, he stood for a second breathing before he smiled to himself and stepped off humming **'Ben'** in his head

He'd told himself it wasn't the right thing to do, that his argument was with Faith but somehow as he drove along his car took him in that direction, he sat looking at the house for a while before he finally got out the car and headed towards her parents house "Sam" Malcolm smiled as he opened the door to him

"Malcolm" Sam said back no smile on his face alerting Malcolm to something being wrong as his usual Dad and hug wasn't present

"Something wrong?" he asked as he stepped off and Sam followed him into the house

"Ann" Sam said looking around the room at the many pictures of Faith and him on various bits of furniture around the room "I'm glad I've got the both of you together I know Faith isn't going to say anything and my parents don't actually know yet, but..."

"She's pregnant" her Dad jumped up smiling

"Not quite" Sam smiled "She's well... she's told me about Matthew, Kyle, Roger and Andrew I think it is, amongst others, and I don't know if you know that her past has come back to haunt her, or not, but it has, she's spent every penny I had on that stuff so much so, I can't afford to live there any more. She's not pregnant because she can't have babies it's not me I'm fine and..." he looked at them a pleasant smile still on his face "Apparently you knew she had a drug problem all along, I don't appreciate you guys fooling me the way you did, I guess this could have all been so different had I been given all the facts up front, but as it stands I'm divorcing Faith and you guys as soon as possible, bye" he turned and walked out leaving them to think and do what they needed to

"Sam" he heard Malcolm shout after him but he didn't stop to hear it, he jumped in his car and drove away, he called work and asked for a transfer, and the following week he was reassigned to their branch in Birmingham. He packed his case and jumped in his car making his way back to Birmingham, to his parents home to lick his wounds and cut that particular part of his life out of his brain.

There was a conversation he needed to have with Mercy, but he wanted to do that face to face she wouldn't get the chance to fill his head with crap if he was standing in front of her, he hadn't given her a heads up on anything either he needed this cold, he needed honest answers as to why she'd sat on that shit that went on between Faith and Dermot

He'd come home for a break his parents thought, so when he sat down and explained to them everything that had been going on and what his intentions were they were sad that he hadn't felt the need to let them help in any way "I had support, Mercedes knew everything, I talked to her regularly" he assured them

"So your going for the big D?" his Dad asked looking at him his eyes sad "I know you haven't taken this decision lightly, and Mercedes did the right thing in trying to get you guys to try everything to save it, so I'm in agreement with your decision" he grabbed his shoulder telling him "Your Mom and I have come close a few times, I guess you know that, you've heard the arguments but we've never lost the love, once that goes I guess it's all over"

"I remember" he smiled "So I guess until I get myself some cash, pay you guys back and settle into my new job you have a child at home again" he slapped his thighs telling them "And I have this one thing I need to do before I get everything else rolling" he took his phone out telling them "Mercy" he smiled as she answered "I'm back in Birmingham"

"That's great we'll have to catch up"

"That's what was on my mind too, how about tonight at TGI Fridays on Hadley Rd?"

"Great"

"I'll pick you up at say 7pm?"

"I'll meet you there I'm nearer from work"

"See you then" he smiled closing the call down, it was going to be that easy to catch up with her for a while, he was home

He went up to his room, smiling as he looked around, he'd not got a single memory in there that didn't include Mercy, even the footballs he'd kept from senior years had Victor, Ronnie or both names written across them as he dreamt of kicking their heads around the field. Their records that stayed at his house for safe keeping, and away from DJ Micky Spice as her brother liked to call himself, had been transported with care, living on a shelf specifically built to store them, except for when they were together they were hardly ever played and that hadn't been for a while. He picked one of the records up remembering the event in which he got it, hearing about the dreadful accusations going on for MJ right now through his radio, he shook his head wondering if he'd heard that right and turned the radio up to hear the full story, but it was nearing the end and he really didn't get the full picture

By the time he had a drink, spoke to his parents and put his washing in the machine it was time to get ready to go see Mercy, he ran back upstairs and came down some twenty minutes later ready "I'll see you guys later" he told them kissing his Mom as he left the living room for his car

She was outside waiting for him when he pulled up on the car park, he jumped out the car and ran over to her, it had been a while since he'd actually seen her, the wedding that never happened was just four months ago, and she still looked fragile to him as he got nearer "Hi" he smiled pulling her to him, she fell into his arms and at that minute they knew without words how much they'd missed each other

"Hi" she smiled up at him before grabbing his arm to make their way into TGI Friday's, he took her coat and hung it on the back of her chair when they were shown to their table watching her sit down before he sat down himself "You finally did it?" she looked at him smiling

"I did" his grin wide as he spoke

"Can I take you order?" the waiter came up to their table asking

"Usual?" Mercy asked watching Sam nod and smile before she looked back at the waiter "Can we have a JD bucket of bones to share, Nachos at the same time, and then two sirloins well done with all the trimmings please" she looked at Sam smiling back at her "Oh and before all that, can we have the important stuff, two sweetheart cocktails?" she asked as Sam chuckled "What?" she asked him laughing

"Nothing I just missed you" he told her

"I missed you too, I know I didn't act like it, but I did"

"Oh you acted like it alright" he looked at her still smiling

"She told you didn't she?" she looked back at him, his face telling her everything, she didn't need a verbal answer "You guys had so much going on already, I didn't want anything to do with you guys breaking up, Dermot was gone the threat wasn't there any more and I just thought it best to let sleeping dogs lay" she looked at him saying "I know she pretended to be my friend, that was only to keep me close, I'm the enemy, I'm not stupid I know that much"

"When did you work out she wasn't your friend"

"I'd felt it at times but I just put it down to her being jealous but for real when she did that with Dermot"

"That was what you meant that day when you said it was Karma?" he asked her

"What else could it have been?"

"I guess I would have seen it as that too" he laughed "I don't actually care about Dermot and Faith she's a slut, I've had to get myself checked because of her, thankfully I'm good but it could have been different"

"Okay" she smiled as the food arrived "Switch up, this is too glum, let's get onto our favourite subject" she smiled at him "Who can leave the most clean bones" she laughed diving into the bucket of bones as Sam followed in hot pursuit, Sam kept hold of the record in the end they laughed it off and started in on the rest of their meal sharing a Rocky Road Sundae for dessert, conversation was easy, they had so much to catch up on, main topic of the night Michael Jackson

Their birthday was round the corner they were broaching the big 30 and after everything that had happened they didn't want a fuss

"Michael's in Berlin, I was thinking we could just slip away and go see our idol" Mercy told him as they shared their dessert

"Did I mention I was broke?" Sam laughed

"I think I mentioned you needed to come to me for anything" she told him seriously

"So what even holidays in Germany?

"Especially birthday presents in Germany, it's only four days" she smiled "We can get back just after our birthday and go for a meal or something, come on it's our 30th" she begged

"Okay" he smiled "I need cheering up anyway, so do you" he rubbed his spoon against hers telling her

"Great book your holiday for two weeks time" she told him

"You already booked it?" he laughed

"As soon as you told me you were here" she laughed before they finished their meal and left for home

The holiday came up quickly, they were packed maybe the day after Sam agreed to go, Michael took them to the ferry and 4 hours later they were sitting in the Hotel Oderberger the stone walls inside made the place feel regal as their echo followed them down the corridors, check in was swift as the bellboy grabbed their room card and Mercy's case and marched them towards their suite. The bathroom was pure indulgence, the bed looked like a double king size and there was a telly in the room.

They had a whole day before the concert and they used it to try the food, visit landmarks and meet some locals, closing the day with a swim in the hotel's pool before dressing for dinner on the balcony looking down at the chef's in the kitchen while spending the evening oozing about what was going to happen at the concert.

They were on hot bricks when the evening of the concert finally came, there were maybe a twenty deep crowd in front of them but they had a good spot, they watched as the stage lit up time after time for his spectacular performances as he engaged with the crowd, rocking to the familiar songs, then the stage went quiet and all that could be heard was the familiar guitar melody as their song came through the speakers, they stood holding each other as they listened _**Mercy:**_ _I used to say I and me,_ _ **Sam:**_ _now it's us,_ _ **Mercy:**_ _now it's we,_ _ **Both**_ _: I used to say I and me, now it's us, now it's we'_ they sang to each other, they were back in infant school sitting at their desk introducing themselves to each other.

They were on a high after that, the next day they were nursing sour throats and then suddenly it was time to get back, they called their families together and as planned, they all went for a lavish Mexican meal in the new Mail Box complex, surprised when his Dad suggested they follow on to a club on the complex and an unmentionable amount of shots hit the table as the music started to make sense and everyone was up dancing. The next week to the day, Diane went into labour and little Ryan was born a bouncing 8lb stunner, within minutes becoming the apple of everyone's eye

"God I want children" Sam looked down at this little life wriggling around in Mercy's arms

"Me too" she purred as they marvelled "Here starts Life" she looked up at him saying

"Actually it really does, and I still love you"

"Always always" she kissed his cheek telling him, smiling at the fact they were now Uncle and Auntie

Christmas was different this year they had a child to buy for Sam and Mercy were running around the shops looking for a soft rocking horse for Ryan, Michael reminded them constantly that a three month old was never going to sit on a rocking horse so there was no urgency, but they wanted to see his little face when he saw it.

Sam's parents weren't going to Jersey this year because he'd come home and they still thought he was fragile "You can go to Uncle Ken's if you want honestly, I can spend Christmas with Mercedes and her family"

"I think we've agreed we'd all spend Christmas at the Jones this year, your Mom moaned it had been a while since she'd got together with Mavis and of course that's all my fault" his Dad rolled his eyes telling him "So in the hope of saving my neck, I called Denis and he invited us over"

"That's going to be great" he rubbed his hands together telling them "It's been a while since I tasted Mrs Jones' dinner" he rubbed his belly telling his parents

"I've never eaten West Indian food" his Dad told him

"You're in for a treat" Sam laughed

Christmas came and the meal was a mix of Caribbean and English, while drinks flowed like water and the rich rum cake went down so smooth nobody actually realised how much alcohol was in it until the conversation got really loud and Michelle; the straight laced Bio-Chemist, started giggling setting everyone off with no means of stopping

"Presents" Michael finally shouted out having settled Ryan for the evening, giving Diane some free time to get involved in the festivities "Sam" he shouted throwing one over to him, soon all the presents were taken and people were saying thank you around the room as they opened them

"Listen" Sam grabbed everyone's attention saying "It's been a really great Christmas, one of the best thank you guys for having us" he told everyone hugging Mercy "And thank you" he kissed her nose telling her

"I have a present for you" she pulled him back into the front room saying "Another signed classic" she handed him the plastic bag telling him

"Thank you" he smiled I've got one I'm dying to give you, but it was your turn and I …. oh Mercy I love it, it's our first song" he smiled taking his signed copy of **'Ben' by Michael Jackson** out of it's cover

"I just thought it fit this year for you, for us" she smiled at him

"Dance with me" he held his hand out saying as he used his other hand to put the record on their family record player before grabbing her round the waist to move to the tune as he sung her part to her

 _ **Sam (Mercy):**_ _Ben, the two of us need look no more, we both found what we were looking for, with a friend to call my own, I'll never be alone, and you my friend will see, you've got a friend in me (You've got a friend in me)_

"I guess I'm singing your part?" she smiled as he nodded a yes before she took it away

 _ **Mercy (Sam):**_ _Ben, you're always running here and there (Here and there), you feel you're not wanted anywhere (Anywhere), If you ever look behind, and don't like what you find, there's something you should know, you've got a place to go (You've got a place to go)_

 _ **Mercy:**_ _I used to say I and me,_ _ **Sam:**_ _now it's us,_ _ **Mercy:**_ _now it's we,_ _ **Both**_ _: I used to say, I and me, now it's us, now it's we_

 _ **Both:**_ _Ben, most people would turn you away, I don't listen to a word they say, they don't see you as I do, I wish they would try to, I'm sure they'd think again if they had a friend like …..._

He bent down and took her lips, their eyes closed, her hand went up to grab the familiar lock of hair and the back of his head "Like you" he finally said when he let her lips go

"If I remember rightly we hugged that first time" she giggled

"But that felt so much more grown up, don't you think?" he laughed

"Happy Christmas" she laughed, pulling him with her back into the living room

 **31 Years Old – 1994**

The year had started with a bang, Sam announced he was staying in Birmingham so he'd be thinking of setting some roots once he'd got rid of Faith, the papers were signed by her on New Years Eve and he was optimistic things were going to end quickly there. He'd changed his Mobile number and insisted that Faith and her parents make contact through their solicitors, following hours of telephone conversations with them all begging him to come back, thankfully that had calmed right down. Mercy had stopped seeing the Chemist guy, Sam had made sure he monopolised so much of her time she had to squeeze him out of the picture. She was getting back to her old self; bubbly, happy and confident, and without sounding too boastful he kind of thought they'd moved to another level in their friendship, he was sure at times the signals told him that a boundary could be pushed.

Michelle had decided to do some missionary work in India for a year, Michael and Diane where basking in their happy family still living in Bearwood, not far from the family home and Mercy was thinking of moving back home, she was over in the Aston part of Birmingham at the moment, isolated and lonely, Sam spent a lot of time at her flat but with work pulling him all over the place sometimes, she got lonely. He'd spoilt her for a while being there every evening, taking her out, just being Sam, and she'd grown used to it quickly.

The Christening date was set for late March just after Easter, and with only four weeks left to go everyone was mucking in with something, Michael or DJ Mikie Spice as he was known in the sound system circles refused to let anyone else play the music for the event, Mercy sat rolling her eyes for the lovers rock of it all, Sam laughing at her face, while Diane pretended like nothing was being said

"All this talk about music I just hope you have your son's speech ready, they better be words he can call back on all his life" Diane looked at Michael telling him as Mercy burst into the biggest belly laugh, if there was anything Michael hated it was public speaking

"Not a problem" he looked at her smiling before turning to roll his eyes at Sam

 **March**

Those four weeks went quickly, they spent forever choosing the right gown, finding the right hotel that would allow them to bring their own catering in, getting an agreement for the sound system to be in the venue and extension time till 1am. The night before everyone dipped in and got the tables dressed with the usual tablecloths, plastic cutlery and stem glasses and favours, early the morning of the Christening the baby blue balloons were delivered and the rum cake took its place front and centre on the main table before the hall was left in the care of the caterers and everyone went off to get dressed for the actual Christening

"Where's Ryan?" Diane asked Michael as they walked towards the car

"What do you mean where''s Ryan?" he looked in the car thinking she was joking, to see no one

"Sam" they both said laughing at this guy who kept kidnapping their child, to play baby talk games with and dress him up as some ridiculous super hero

"Sam" Michael shouted as he looked around before going back into the hall to see him sitting at the top table trying to get Ryan to dig his finger in the main cake "It's full of rum" Michael laughed

"I know, I was going to lick it off" he told him, his face serious as he spoke

"Give me my baby" he walked up to him laughing "If I told Diane half the things you did with this boy, she'd tie you up"

"I think she'd want to know about your Daddy speech" Sam laughed back at him watching as he looked uncomfortable

The Church was standard singing, prayer and a ceremony and then it was over, along with their family and friends they moved on to the venue for the party. They got their cup of vegetable soup and slice of hard doe bread on entry as usual before the Father's said their bit and handed the floor over to Michael for his speech, he made a few jokes about getting away with it at their wedding, his joy of being a father and the blessings they as a family had received before reciting his words to his son "I called it Welcome" he looked around the room telling everyone before he started reading

" _Welcome, precious little Ryan, so divine from God above, Christened here today in Jesus' name,_ _Surely you are held in the arms of love. I pray the angels guide your tiny feet, and bring you smiles to wear in abundance, and I pray that our Heavenly Father, always and forever keeps you in his care"_

He looked away from his son indicating to everyone he had finished, smiling as everyone clapped "That was so hard" he let out a big breath telling everyone, and shortly after the meal was served,

"Is it the cake now?" Sam asked Mercy rubbing his hands together

"Yes" she giggled, his eyes widening as he licked his lips

Diane and Michael cut the cake and Sam watched for a while until he saw the catering staff take it away and he went in pursuit, he stood at the kitchen door watching them cut it up, he knew it was the top cake from their wedding and that had sent his head spinning, he went to a nice place, he wanted that again. As the tray came out he was the first one to grab a piece before making his way back to their table, smiling as he held it under the table and took another piece for luck, waiting until they were out of view before revealing his second piece making Mercy laugh

They'd just about finished the cake when the music started, Michael smiling as he played his signature tune "This tune as always goes out to the love of my life, my wife Diane to say thank you for giving us the perfect family" he announced over the mic as **'Never, Never, Never' by John Holt** came over the airways and everyone got up slow dancing as Michael and Diane stood at the set with Ryan in their arms rocking as Michael sang to her

"He's a romantic at heart" Mercy smiled as she rocked along to the song in Sam's arms

Drinking, dancing and talking went on into the night, the family stayed behind to make sure everything was alright and the venue was left as agreed, Sam helped Michael load his system into the van and then went back to sit in the foyer with Mercy "Shall we get a room ?" he asked

"We could I really don't feel like driving"

"It's a day to spoil ourselves" he looked at her waiting for an agreement

"Okay yes we should" she told him as he jumped up to go see if it was possible

"Done" he walked towards her a short while later dangling the keys "We have to be out by noon, that's long enough isn't it?"

"Gosh yeah" she laughed as he pulled her up to go see the room

"I suppose you get what you pay for" Sam told her flatly as he looked around the room a double bed, dresser; with a telly taking up most of the space on the top of it, bathroom, a built in wardrobe, tea and coffee making facilities and an iron in the draw, with no space to swing a cat called floorspace

"We only want to sleep" Mercy laughed as Sam turned the telly on and heard music blasting out of it, he rummaged around trying to work the control out to turn it down

"There's a Jackson on, dance with me?" he asked grabbing her hand and pulling her to him, she didn't reply she just did as asked and fell into his chest as they swayed listening to the word of **'Again' by Janet Jackson** **'** _ **Suddenly the memories came back to me in my mind, how can I be strong I've asked myself, time and time I've said, that I'll never fall in love with you again'**_

"It was a good day wasn't it?" she finally asked

"It was a great day" he smiled resting his head on top of her head as they hugged **'** _ **Making love to you, oh it felt so good and, oh so right'**_ _t_ hey heard and Sam wanted to say something but he didn't want to push it

 _ **'So here we are alone again, didn't think it'd come to this, and to know it all began, with just a little kiss'**_ rang out in the room as they both stood wanting to say something, but scared of crossing that invisible line they'd drawn for themselves

 _ **"Kinda late in the game and my heart is in, your hands, don't you stand there and then, tell me you love, me then leave again, cause I'm falling in love with, you again"**_ Mercy sang looking up at him for the last bit, she had to bite the bullet and let him know what was in her heart "I love you Sam" she smiled up at him

"I love you too" he smiled down at her

She stopped dancing and looked into his eyes "No I mean I really love you" she stared at him waiting for his response, the room silent all they could hear was Janet Jackson singing _**'Don't ever let me go, say it just one time, say you love me, god knows I do, love you, again'**_

Sam stood blown away, he wanted this of course he wanted this but for it to be so easy was unsettling for him, he'd imagined lots of ways this declaration could come out but none of them had ever been Mercy telling him, he pulled her into him lifted her chin and kissed her, not deep but long "I mean I love you too" his cheek meeting hers as her arms came up to wrap themselves around his neck , he stood there thinking 'finally she was seeing him the way he'd always wanted her to see him as a lover "I'm going to kiss you" he whispered in her ear, she pulled away and smiled at him bringing her lips up to meet his, his tongue fluttered against hers as his hand pulled her face deep into his, he needed to drink in every moment, her skin felt softer than he remembered her hair silkier, his mind flashed back to that first kiss they shared back in Junior school, as he pulled her up against him, he could never get close enough, he'd maybe be happy if he could slide just under her skin and stay there.

Suddenly she was detached, she stepped off towards the bed, she was taking the lead, that made him smile, she stood taking her clothes off as he followed suit and stripped too, they stood looking at each other, a smile forming on Mercy's face

"What?" Sam asked laughing as he spoke

"Everything is just as I remember" she laughed as she pulled him to her and nibbled his chin before moving up to his ear touching his face with her fingers closing her eyes to sigh "You still feel good too" she ran her hand down his chest, his pulsing alerting her to how ready he was for her "Real good" she raised her left eyebrow at him smiling

"You look good too, ready to eat" he smirked at her telling her, he was already way past this talk stuff, it had been a while and five years since he'd dipped into anything he'd really wanted to be in

"Patience"

"26 years is a lot of patience"

"5 years" Mercy corrected him

"That didn't count I was holding back, I knew what that was"

"What was that?"

"Us making something good come out of a bad experience you'd had, I couldn't think of anything else to stop you hurting, I love you" he frowned "I just needed you to now what it was really like to have someone make love to you, set the bar" he smiled "Did it work?"

"I'm anxious to remember the bar" she pushed him down onto the bed telling him, they set about learning things about each other's bodies, talking, explaining, feeling, screaming and before rest could fully come one or the other would start again. Luckily they were used to talking about this subject so when it came to it, it was easy

"God your chatty" Sam slammed back on the bed telling her

"So are you, and demanding" she laughed

"Nothings worth having if you don't have to work for it, and that last orgasm was as tight as the first"

"Can we please get some sleep now?"

"In a bit" he rolled her over telling her

They woke up a few hours later to have a discussion about where last night left them "I'm not sorry if that's what your thinking" Mercy told him as he tried to explain rather clumsily that he wasn't willing to hide anything if they were going to do this it was going to be the whole nine yards

"Neither am I, I guess I'm rambling" he rubbed the back of his neck telling her

"This is me Sam just say it, I don't want what happened to change who we are to each other"

"That's just it, I do, I want it to change who we are to each other I want you to be …. to be my girlfriend"

"Can we go to your house today listen to our records?"

"Sure, but are you going to respond to my comment"

"Yes" she looked at him saying

"So?" he stopped getting dressed to look at her

"I said yes"she smiled

"Yes" he punched the air hissing through his teeth reaching in for a kiss "Deal sealed" he smiled

They got home that day and their relationship went public, they were surprised that their families weren't surprised, in fact they'd been waiting for it according to his Dad, things settled into their normal almost straight away, Sam more or less moved into Mercy's flat and within two weeks they had a routine going

 **April**

"Diane" Mercy almost whispered over the phone on evening as she sat waiting for Sam to get home "I've missed my period, I'm three weeks overdue, I'm panicking"

"You guys not having protected sex?"

"Well when we can yeah, but you know how that goes sometimes"

"Are you feeling sick, tired, hungry or anything?"

"No, the opposite actually I'm more energetic, if you know what I mean"

"Well you know Sam better than me, and I know he'd be expecting you to have this conversation with him"

"I'm going to I'm just waiting for him to come in now, we only just got together"

"Girl you guys only just slept together you've been together since you were 4 according to your Mom"

"Okay" she laughed as she sat thinking that might just be right "I got to go I've got this romantic evening thing I need to set up"

"Good luck" she wished before closing the call

Mercy tried her best to set the scene for this difficult conversation she was going to have, it wasn't a conversation they'd ever had other than when Faith was trying and his heart wasn't into it, but then when Ryan had come into the world he'd commented he might want a child, but surely they weren't thinking of with each other. This was going to totally change the dynamics between them whatever they decided to do, but Diane was right the conversation needed to happen and she knew he'd be tired when he came in, this was his long day.

She's cooked some food, he loved yam, with some of his favourite curried chicken and a small salad, she had the music playing in the background, making just enough noise to entertain the silent pauses she expected. Candles lit just five minutes before he was due to arrive in the middle of the set table and on the coffee table in front of the couch, she took a breath as she heard him turn the key

"Wow" he pulled in the smell coming from the kitchen "What's the occasion?" he smiled walking towards her for a kiss as he spoke, throwing his coat over the couch and his bag on top of it "I love that you made the effort" he looked around at the lit candles smiling

"I wanted to make the effort, your worth it" she smiled up at him taking the kiss he was offering

They laughed the evening away, eating, talking and even dancing when the mood took them, their conversations were so easy as they moved from space to space finally sitting on the couch to hold each other

"Thanks for the evening I needed to forget about outside, I just didn't now how much" he pulled her to him for a kiss as he spoke

"Hold up" she moved her head out of his line of movement

"What's up?" he looked at her his face worried

"I guess its what's not up"

"Like?"

"I think I've finally taken one of your children" she told him looking like a naughty child at him

"Serious?" he smiled "Are you.." he pointed at her stomach

"I didn't want to do anything until I spoke to you about it"

"Can we get a test?"

"I already have a test but I want to know what you're thinking"

"I'm confident, ready, I'm glad I've given you our child"

"You are?"

"Damn straight I am"

"I am too"

"Go do the test" he told her sitting rubbing his hands down his thighs until she came back with the stick in her hand, they sat holding hands looking at the stick

"It's positive" she looked at him a few minutes later saying "We're having a baby" she hugged him saying tears in both their eyes as they sat looking at the stick, the only evidence they had something to share forever

They did all the usual stuff, doctors visit, iron tablets, window shopping for baby, eating habits were changed, and at the 5th month they finally told the family, the day after Sam's divorce papers came through, that the baby was on the way. They got home and lay on the couch silently dissecting the day, Sam's parents were over the moon while Mercy's parents went into baby mode, talking about Ryan needed company, smiling when Michael reminded them they wouldn't be siblings, of course food came out at both houses they felt like whales they were so full

Sam lay in Mercy's lap waiting for their child to move, he got kicked in the ear and laughed telling her tummy off when he looked up at her "Marry me" he asked looking into her eyes

"Why because of the baby?"

"I'd like to say yes to that because our child matters" he closed his eyes as her hand swept his hair off his face "But truthfully no, I've loved you since I was 4 years old, when I sat next to you and we sang our first MJ duet together, when we tried smoking, had accidents so we could get sweets from our sweetshop, even fighting Ronnie" he laughed "all of it because you're the one, you've always been the one, I've always loved you"

"Yes" she smiled down at him, before he pulled himself up and kissed her

"Before the baby yeah?"

"Yeah" she laughed "I don't want anything big just a few friends and family"

"That's something big" he laughed "But I'll sort it I don't want you stressed"

 **September**

They did as Mercy had requested they didn't have a hen or stag night but they had people round for food and drink the week before, then the wedding was low key followed by a short honeymoon in Torquay due to Mercy not wanting to travel abroad "Sam" Denis almost shouted down the phone a month later "Your house is for sale"

"My house?"

"Ten doors down your house is for sale, do you guys plan on living in the fifth floor flat with a baby?"

"No, but I didn't plan on living next door to you guys either"

"It's a good deal"

"I'll speak to Mercy and let you know"

Mercy was up for it, it took just 6 weeks for the deal to close and the house was theirs, Sam got the decorators in while they stayed at the flat until Mavis insisted they move in with her because the baby couldn't go to that flat, they did but that just made them rush to get things done in their new home, a week before Christmas and the house was ready. Sam got their things moved in after the carpets were laid and eventually they were in their own house for Christmas Eve. Christmas morning they woke up to a wet bed and spent the day in the Maternity ward at Dudley Road Hospital Monique Rose Evans was born at 4pm, they lay looking at their little miracle

"Here starts life" Mercy looked at Sam telling him as they cooed over their beautiful little girl

"It does, and I love you so very very much"

"Always always" the kissed for a job well done

 **32 Years Old – 1995**

The traditional christening happened Sam proudly took centre stage as he said his speech to his daughter while everyone looked on, the crowd was larger than their wedding party

 _We will do our best to teach you, but it will be up to you to learn, we will try to guide you in the right directions, but it will be up to you to make the right decisions.  
We will also encourage you to seek your own independence, but it will be up to you to be responsible.  
We will teach you about respect, but you will choose whether to appreciate it's value, we will model values for you, but you have to develop your own morals.  
We give you this knowledge as a gift with all our love._

"Well done" Mercy kissed his cheek as he sat back down his chest swelling for the feeling

 **36 Years old – 1999**

"Sam" Mercy called as she twisted the last plait in Mon's hair "Warm the car up" she told him as she heard him hit the stairs

"I'm on it" he came running down the stairs, nearly breaking his neck as he ran through the obstacle course in Mon's play room, smiling for how many times his parents had done that and shouted for him to clean it up "Ten seconds" he looked at his watch telling her as he moved through the kitchen and out the back door to get to the car

Mercy finished Mon's hair, grabbed her school bag and Mon's hand before leaving the house, parking at their old school to deposit Mon in her classroom for her first half day "Bye Sweetheart" Mercy cried as the bell went for the parents to leave, grabbing Sam's hand expecting him to help her leave their baby in this big bad place "Mommy and Daddy will be back in a bit, play with the children" she told her leaving the room, both standing at the window to double check

Three hours later they were standing waiting for the bell to ring, holding hands praying Mon would want to go back the next day "Daddy" she ran out shouting as he bent down to scrape her up in his arms, giving him a hug as she pulled her Mommy into the hug too "I missed you for a bit" she told them as Sam put her down and they grabbed a hand each to let her swing back to the car

"Why for a bit Poppet?" Sam asked

"Simon from down the road needed a desk and I told the teacher he can sit by me, he's my friend" she told them

Sam and Mercy looked at each other and smiled

"Here starts Life" Mercy smiled

"And I still love you the most" he replied looking back at her

"Always, Always" Mon looked up at them smiling, they both looked down smiling back at her

"Always" they replied

THE END

 **Happy Valentine's Day**


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